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OPINION AND ANALYSIS

Six things I’ve learned after six months in Sweden

Australian singer and writer Sheona Urquhart looks back at her first six months in Sweden in this guest blog for The Local.

Six things I've learned after six months in Sweden
Sheona Urquhart on the beach of Fårö, Gotland. Photo: Private

It’s difficult to think that this chilly Stockholm is the same city that was basking in 25-degree heat only a few months ago. Back then was also the time when, against the fitting backdrop of Eurovision, I stumbled off a 32-hour flight, jet-lagged to the heavens, but ready to begin my new life in Sweden.

Moving to Sweden has been life-changing, wonderful and completely challenging. On the one hand, a fresh start is so exciting and energizing. On the other hand, I have often felt a bit like a toddler at a grownups party – in need of guidance, struggling to communicate and, particularly over these latest icy weeks, still figuring out how to walk.

But Sweden has been one pleasant surprise after the other. As more expats continue to flock to these fabulous Scandinavian cities, I thought it would be a nice time to share a few of the learnings I’ve made over the last six months for future Arlanda airport arrivals.


Sheona Urquhart visiting the island of Gotland. Photo: Private

Expats and Swedes

Swedes are incredibly welcoming to expats and it’s easy to fit into society here. However, after a while living in Sweden, you can start to notice some slight, often amusing, cultural differences. A common one (especially for us Aussies), is that we’re considered loud here. Quite loud. I’ll never forget one casual Sunday fika that somehow resulted in my Aussie mate and I squawking with uncontrollable laughter, whilst throwing our bodies back and forth in sheer hysteria… much to the silent shock of the surrounding, significantly more civilized Swedes. Be ready for that.

Coffee doesn’t mean the same thing here as it does at home

This is very, very important, especially if you’re usually a long-black drinker. Swedish coffee is a force of nature – this can’t be stressed enough. Simply ‘trying Swedish coffee’ should only be done in a carefully controlled environment – trust me, you don’t know what this hot, devil liquid could do to an un-trained stomach. If you want my advice, try one with a good quarter litre of milk and two sugars and gradually work your way to black… don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Turns out Sweden is successful at everything

This was difficult to swallow at first, but it’s something we’ve all had to eventually accept. There’s the well-known successful Swedish exports like Spotify, H&M, Ikea and Robyn, but the longer you’re here you’ll really discover how gifted Sweden is at being…well, gifted. If stunning musical artists like First Aid Kit, Laleh and Ted Gärdestad aren’t enough, Sweden has the Nobel Prize, automatically booked doctors appointments, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and summer-time strawberries that will be the best you’ve ever had. Swedes are so inventive, they can take literally the most disastrously designed ship, fetch it from the bottom of the harbour and turn it into one of Stockholm’s most visited tourist attractions. Gifted.

Snow in Sweden is glorious! Until you have to walk in it…

Have you ever seen that scene of Bambi trying his hooves out on ice for the first time? Slipping and stumbling with every step, limbs becoming entangled and a steady decline in pride? You can’t get a more accurate image of what my life has been like stepping outside this month. Speaking from experience, only the first four falls are embarrassing. After that you’ll learn to let go of all dignity, so long as you try to avoid collecting other civilians on the way down. In other news, turns out MacBook pros are a lot more water resistant than you think!


Snow in Stockholm in November. Photo: Henrik Montgomery/TT

Heaven on earth exists

I’m convinced the island of Gotland is a slice of utopia that toppled from the sky and landed off the east coast of Sweden. What an island – it’s a must on any to-visit list. Having said that, there’s also plenty of stunning areas in Stockholm that still make my heart skip a beat, six months in. A morning walk around Sickla Sjö can make you feel like you’ve accidently wandered through a cupboard at Ikea and ended up in Narnia.

The reason you come to Sweden is not always the reason you’ll stay. And you will stay.

As is often the tale, I originally moved to Sweden for love. And now, like a surprisingly large number of expats, I’m still here even after the relationship didn’t work out. Of course it felt strange suddenly losing the reason I had decided come here in the first place. Stranger still, however, was that I didn’t consider leaving Sweden once I’d lost it.

Perhaps I’d started a different relationship back when Dami Im was gracing Globen’s Eurovision stage in May – with Stockholm. After all, in the last six months Stockholm has taken me in, given me adventures, a wonderful job and the start of a beautiful career in music. Stockholm is a city of innovation, creativity and it has plenty of support. It’s also home to some of the coolest, kindest and most open-minded people I’ve ever met. How could I leave?

I wonder at what stage expats start to feel like a real resident in Stockholm? Is it the purchase of the first monthly SL public transport card? The first time you curse under your breath at not being able to book the time you wanted for the communal laundry? The first midsummer? The pure joy of no longer being an alien once your personal number has been processed? Or perhaps when you make the transition from making fun at your friends using a shoe horn, to using one yourself?

In any sense, for me it happened somewhere over the last six months and I’m so happy to call this funny, cucumber-shaped country my home.

Thanks for making me feel so loved, Stockholm. I can’t wait to see what the next six months bring.

Catch Sheona at live gigs around Sweden with Swedish singer-songwriter, Jade Ell. Visit www.sheonaurquhart.com. She also keeps a blog on her adventures at www.sheoblabs.wordpress.com

Do you want to write a guest blog for The Local? E-mail us at [email protected].


Sheona and her music partner Jade looking out over Sickla Sjö. Photo: Private
 

FOOD AND DRINK

OPINION: Are tips in Sweden becoming the norm?

Should you tip in Sweden? Habits are changing fast thanks to new technology and a hard-pressed restaurant trade, writes James Savage.

OPINION: Are tips in Sweden becoming the norm?

The Local’s guide to tipping in Sweden is clear: tip for good service if you want to, but don’t feel the pressure: where servers in the US, for instance, rely on tips to live, waiters in Sweden have collectively bargained salaries with long vacations and generous benefits. 

But there are signs that this is changing, and the change is being accelerated by card machines. Now, many machines offer three preset gratuity percentages, usually starting with five percent and going up to fifteen or twenty. Previously they just asked the customer to fill in the total amount they wanted to pay.

This subtle change to a user interface sends a not-so-subtle message to customers: that tipping is expected and that most people are probably doing it. The button for not tipping is either a large-lettered ‘No Tip’ or a more subtle ‘Fortsätt’ or ‘Continue’ (it turns out you can continue without selecting a tip amount, but it’s not immediately clear to the user). 

I’ll confess, when I was first presented with this I was mildly irked: I usually tip if I’ve had table service, but waiting staff are treated as professionals and paid properly, guaranteed by deals with unions; menu prices are correspondingly high. The tip was a genuine token of appreciation.

But when I tweeted something to this effect (a tweet that went strangely viral), the responses I got made me think. Many people pointed out that the restaurant trade in Sweden is under enormous pressure, with rising costs, the after-effects of Covid and difficulties recruiting. And as Sweden has become more cosmopolitain, adding ten percent to the bill comes naturally to many.

Boulebar, a restaurant and bar chain with branches around Sweden and Denmark, had a longstanding policy of not accepting tips at all, reasoning that they were outdated and put diners in an uncomfortable position. But in 2021 CEO Henrik Kruse decided to change tack:

“It was a purely financial decision. We were under pressure due to Covid, and we had to keep wages down, so bringing back tips was the solution,” he said, adding that he has a collective agreement and staff also get a union bargained salary, before tips.

Yet for Kruse the new machines, with their pre-set tipping percentages, take things too far:

“We don’t use it, because it makes it even clearer that you’re asking for money. The guest should feel free not to tip. It’s more important for us that the guest feels free to tell people they’re satisfied.”

But for those restaurants that have adopted the new interfaces, the effect has been dramatic. Card processing company Kassacentralen, which was one of the first to launch this feature in Sweden, told Svenska Dagbladet this week that the feature had led to tips for the average establishment doubling, with some places seeing them rise six-fold.

Even unions are relaxed about tipping these days, perhaps understanding that they’re a significant extra income for their members. Union representatives have often in the past spoken out against tipping, arguing that the practice is demeaning to staff and that tips were spread unevenly, with staff in cafés or fast food joints getting nothing at all. But when I called the Swedish Hotel and Restaurant Union (HRF), a spokesman said that the union had no view on the practice, and it was a matter for staff, business owners and customers to decide.

So is tipping now expected in Sweden? The old advice probably still stands; waiters are still not as reliant on tips as staff in many other countries, so a lavish tip is not necessary. But as Swedes start to tip more generously, you might stick out if you leave nothing at all.

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