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OPINION

NUDITY

‘Let’s promote nudity in a healthy way’

Swedish parents need to get more comfortable being naked around family members to help their children develop a healthy attitude to nudity, argues journalist and blogger Lotta Gray.

'Let's promote nudity in a healthy way'
Lotta Gray and her son Lennox. Photo: Private

They're flooding in. Facebook and Instagram are being filled up with pictures of naked children of all ages. The entire social media world is exploding in bottoms and chubby children's bodies at various beaches both at home and in warmer climes. Crawling and creeping, documented by granular snaps as well as professional photographs.

But how does our thinking go when it comes to nudity and children? Do we think at all? And someone like myself, a professional blogger who puts my entire life on public display every day, what do I think?

For never before has it been so important to safeguard the naked as it is in today's day and age. Otherwise, it will be massacred, become such an object of public attention that it does not even provoke a raised eyebrow, rather a hidden yawn.

We should put up an iron wall between children's nudity and 2,000 social media followers. However, nakedness within the family is a different issue. Being naked should not be made into something peculiar, that is my motto. In our house, we sleep naked, we bathe together and we don't hide ourselves in panic when our now almost ten-year-old child enters the bathroom.

I am of course not naked at home when his friends sleep over. Not at all. And I am also careful to point out that one's own naked body is never something you should let anybody else touch, that it is your own private sphere and that you should not walk around naked in other people's homes.

And it seems to work, he seems to have caught on, because towels are being fumbled with and doors locked when changing in public places. That's all good and well. But that nudity remains normal within the family, I think that is important.

In other cultures, there's an outcry if you have a bath with your naked son, or let him see your body in the shower. A Tanzanian friend of mine was severely shocked and told me I must immediately stop when he found out that I sometimes sleep in the same bed as my child without clothes.

My Senegalese dad almost chokes if he so much as sees my underwear hanging outside to dry and you have to respect that. These are other cultures. But at my place, I like that nudity is okay as long as my son's bottom does not end up in the online spotlight.

If what is natural is presented as natural it does not become as exciting. A body is a body just like any body, and to be effortlessly inside it is good, it's healthy. Seeing your parents naked, as well as your brothers and sisters, I think that creates a healthier mindset as a young adult than all of the hushing and covering-up we're seeing today.

Of course you can't force nudity on anyone and do the helicopter in the kitchen just because you feel like it. Children can tell when they feel it's no longer okay and then you have to respect that.

In conclusion: let's promote nudity in a healthy way. Joke about it, talk about it, disarm it and embrace it… but for heaven's sake, don't let it go viral.

Lotta Gray is a journalist and writer who runs one of Sweden's most popular family blogs. This is a translation of an opinion piece originally written in Swedish for Metro.

Member comments

  1. i have been going naked since i was 15 years old my mother never said niothing about it my brother asked her one day why does he have to go naked she told him he likes to be cool

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FOOD AND DRINK

OPINION: Are tips in Sweden becoming the norm?

Should you tip in Sweden? Habits are changing fast thanks to new technology and a hard-pressed restaurant trade, writes James Savage.

OPINION: Are tips in Sweden becoming the norm?

The Local’s guide to tipping in Sweden is clear: tip for good service if you want to, but don’t feel the pressure: where servers in the US, for instance, rely on tips to live, waiters in Sweden have collectively bargained salaries with long vacations and generous benefits. 

But there are signs that this is changing, and the change is being accelerated by card machines. Now, many machines offer three preset gratuity percentages, usually starting with five percent and going up to fifteen or twenty. Previously they just asked the customer to fill in the total amount they wanted to pay.

This subtle change to a user interface sends a not-so-subtle message to customers: that tipping is expected and that most people are probably doing it. The button for not tipping is either a large-lettered ‘No Tip’ or a more subtle ‘Fortsätt’ or ‘Continue’ (it turns out you can continue without selecting a tip amount, but it’s not immediately clear to the user). 

I’ll confess, when I was first presented with this I was mildly irked: I usually tip if I’ve had table service, but waiting staff are treated as professionals and paid properly, guaranteed by deals with unions; menu prices are correspondingly high. The tip was a genuine token of appreciation.

But when I tweeted something to this effect (a tweet that went strangely viral), the responses I got made me think. Many people pointed out that the restaurant trade in Sweden is under enormous pressure, with rising costs, the after-effects of Covid and difficulties recruiting. And as Sweden has become more cosmopolitain, adding ten percent to the bill comes naturally to many.

Boulebar, a restaurant and bar chain with branches around Sweden and Denmark, had a longstanding policy of not accepting tips at all, reasoning that they were outdated and put diners in an uncomfortable position. But in 2021 CEO Henrik Kruse decided to change tack:

“It was a purely financial decision. We were under pressure due to Covid, and we had to keep wages down, so bringing back tips was the solution,” he said, adding that he has a collective agreement and staff also get a union bargained salary, before tips.

Yet for Kruse the new machines, with their pre-set tipping percentages, take things too far:

“We don’t use it, because it makes it even clearer that you’re asking for money. The guest should feel free not to tip. It’s more important for us that the guest feels free to tell people they’re satisfied.”

But for those restaurants that have adopted the new interfaces, the effect has been dramatic. Card processing company Kassacentralen, which was one of the first to launch this feature in Sweden, told Svenska Dagbladet this week that the feature had led to tips for the average establishment doubling, with some places seeing them rise six-fold.

Even unions are relaxed about tipping these days, perhaps understanding that they’re a significant extra income for their members. Union representatives have often in the past spoken out against tipping, arguing that the practice is demeaning to staff and that tips were spread unevenly, with staff in cafés or fast food joints getting nothing at all. But when I called the Swedish Hotel and Restaurant Union (HRF), a spokesman said that the union had no view on the practice, and it was a matter for staff, business owners and customers to decide.

So is tipping now expected in Sweden? The old advice probably still stands; waiters are still not as reliant on tips as staff in many other countries, so a lavish tip is not necessary. But as Swedes start to tip more generously, you might stick out if you leave nothing at all.

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