SHARE
COPY LINK
For members

GERMAN HABITS

Nine ways your socializing habits change after moving to Germany

When you really settle into life in Germany, you might notice some of your social habits changing.

Nine ways your socializing habits change after moving to Germany
If you find yourself joining a Verein or a club you are really embracing the German way of life. Photo: DPA

Anyone who moves to a new country knows it takes a lot of effort to get out there and make new friends.

But as well as connecting with new people, you’ll probably notice some of your actual social life habits change too.

Here’s what you should look out for as you adapt to life in Germany.

READ ALSO: ‘Keep putting yourself out there’: The best ways to make friends in Germany

You stop buying rounds

In your home country, it may have been the norm to buy rounds of drinks for your table of friends when you’re in the pub. But in Germany this is quite rare. 

Perhaps it’s because Germans have a reputation for being savers and more thrifty with their cash. Whatever the case, they tend to prefer to pay their own way. That’s not to say that someone will never buy you a drink or a coffee in Germany; it just means that it’s a less common way of socializing.

Especially in the UK, you may be familiar with the ‘kitty’ custom too, where each of the group gives an amount of cash, say €20, and you use that to buy rounds of drinks until it runs out. 

But that’s not really done either. It’s a similar thing when you go out for a meal – you’ll likely pay for what you had, rather than split it evenly (unless you’re a close group of friends and everyone has had a similar thing).

So don’t be offended if someone doesn’t offer to buy you a drink – it’s just not part of the culture. Also, it does mean that you can better control how much you spend on an evening out.

Beer to go

Here’s another thing you might get used to while living in Deutschland: buying a beer to take for the road.

Beer is consumed everywhere in Germany. Photo: DPA

Opting for a “Wegbier”, which literally means a “go beer”, will see you sipping a Pils or Radler while walking home, on the way to a party or really just whenever you’re on the go.

It’s possible because drinking outdoors is not illegal or frowned upon in Germany. In Berlin, for example, late-night shops (known as Spätis, from Spätkauf), sell alcohol which people drink while sitting on benches or gathering with friends. 

But you can buy your “Wegbier” anywhere you like. 

In other countries you might have had to sneakily hide your beer if you dared drink it in public (or it could have been confiscated by police). There is none of that in Germany. 

In fact, I’ve met people who say they moved to Germany because drinking in public is legal and they enjoyed that part of the culture so much.

READ ALSO: ‘It’s difficult to make new friends’: Germany ranked one of hardest countries to settle in

You toast to everything

Germans really love a good toast and will raise their glass to just about anything: every time a new drink is bought, if someone says something important or just to be social.

When saying “Prost!” remember to bump your glass gently with everyone at your table (or at least toast your glass in the air towards someone if they are sitting too far away), and don’t forget the eye contact, which is very important.

On that note, it’s probably worth saying that drinking moderately is encouraged. Consuming alcohol in Germany is viewed as a very social thing, it’s not just about getting a drunk as possible.

Work and leisure are separate

Unlike in some other cultures where it can be the norm to socialize with your workmates when the day ends, in the likes of a restaurant or bar, this just isn’t really the case in Germany.

Of course, there are some exceptions (especially in the startup scene where part of your job description is probably to socialize with colleagues), but overall Germans tend to try and keep some distance between their work and personal life.

Perhaps it’s because privacy and work-life-balance are viewed as very important and by socializing with workmates these lines can get blurred.

You get used to people smoking indoors

Smoking indoors is common in Germany. Photo: DPA

This one is really annoying. Germany does have a smoking ban but it’s far more relaxed than most other western European countries.

That means when you go out in some bars, you have to deal with plumes of second-hand smoke. Apart from it feeling like you’re stuck in the1970s, you also have to wash all your clothes after a night out and it can take days to get the smell out of your hair.

And then there are the sore throats or irritated eyes that come with a night spent in a smoky bar. Try and avoid the Rauchen (smoking bars) if possible, but when you’re trying to make new friends you might feel like you have no choice but to visit them.

The importance of time

It’s a stereotype that Germans are always on time. But compared to some other cultures, it is true that Germany places a great deal of importance on punctuality.

If your German friends invite you round for dinner it would be quite rude to turn up 30 minutes or an hour late. It’s best to arrive at the time you’ve agreed with the person or host you’re meeting.

If you’re running late, let them know so they don’t think you’re being rude.

READ ALSO: 15 timely phrases that prove Germans are all about punctuality

Join a Verein

Clubs or associations (Vereine) are a huge part of German culture so if you’ve joined one then you are well on your way to becoming fully integrated.

There’s a Verein for almost everything, whether it’s a sports club for martial arts, yoga or swimming, or a craft-themed one.

It’s a great way to expand your social group and be creative or stay healthy, whatever club you’ve chosen. 

You say what you mean

Ever said you’d meet someone for a drink but never actually planned to go through with that? Yup, we’ve been there too. Perhaps it’s over politeness (especially in British and American culture).

But in Germany there’s less chance of this happening because people really do say what they mean. If you plan to meet someone for a coffee you’ll say it. If not, then you won’t just say it to appear friendly.

When you start being direct and saying what you mean, you’re definitely an adopted German.

Being naked with friends doesn’t freak you out

Photo: DPA

For many cultures, it’s hard to believe that you could comfortably be in the nude with your colleagues, friends or family. But people in Germany tend not think of nudity as a big deal. 

Take the saunas: Germans will often have no qualms about getting their kit off and enjoying the warmth of the sauna in winter. Many people will even head to a spa with their friends or colleagues and they won’t even think it’s weird to be naked in front of each other.

This is unimaginable in many other countries, but it’s a part of German culture that is quite refreshing.

READ ALSO: The truth laid bare: What you need to know about sauna culture in Germany

Member comments

Log in here to leave a comment.
Become a Member to leave a comment.
For members

GERMAN LANGUAGE

‘Umpf’: Six noises to help you sound like a German

You may think fancy vocab is the only way to impress your friends in German, but these quirky noises could actually be the key to sounding like a local.

'Umpf': Six noises to help you sound like a German

For most German-language learners, it’s a familiar scenario: you kick off your language journey with textbooks and courses and eventually start to get comfortable with the tricky grammar and vocabulary.

But as soon as you start talking to a native speaker, you’ll probably hear several words you’ve never heard before – and even a few confusing noises that are hard to decipher.

These funny sounds – which are usually described as discourse markers by linguists – can be used to express anything from exhaustion to surprise, or even to check whether the person you’re talking to is listening.

If you want to sound like a native, it’s worth getting familiar with these quirky noises and trying to incorporate them in your everyday speech.

The good news is that they’re a lot more fun to use than the tricky words you learn in language schools.

What’s more, they’re an easy way to add some natural flair and personality to your German.

READ ALSO: What are the different levels in German and how do I reach them?

Tja

Hearing this word can be confusing for foreigners, because it may sound an awful lot like “ja”, or yes.

But rather than being an affirmative response to a question, ‘tja’ is often used ahead of a contradiction or as an expression of scepticism, similar to the English word “well”.

You may also hear “tja”, or even “ja”, simply used as filler words for the speaker to buy time to think about what they’re saying. For example, if a stranger asks you if the next train to Dresden leaves from Platform 3, you may respond with “Ja… nein”, if you aren’t quite sure of the answer.

Another key meaning of ‘tja’ is best summed by a meme that defines it as a the typical German response to the apocalypse, nuclear war, alien attack or having no bread in the house.

When something catastrophic has happened – like the apolocalypse or an empty bread shelf – it can be taken to mean either “I told you so” or “sh*t happens”, casting an ironic light over the gloomy situation.

Here’s how you pronounce it.


This is a word you won’t read in the German textbooks, but “hä” is a sure-fire way to sound more German in your conversations.

Much like the English “huh?”, you can use “hä?” to express surprise or incomprehension. If a friend from your German course tells you they actually enjoy learning German grammar, then a disbelieving “hä?” is probably an apt response.

In a more banal context, if you haven’t quite understood what somebody’s said, a gentle “hä?” could stand in for the more polite and formal, “wie bitte?”.

A word of warning, though: “hä?” is viewed as very informal and can even be construed as rude in certain situations, so be sure to only use it among people you’re very friendly and familiar with.

Here’s how you pronounce it.

READ ALSO: German word of the day – Hä?

Ne

Whether you’re a fan of German podcasts or have a few German friends who enjoy to speak at length about the world, you’ve probably come across ‘ne’ at some point or other.

It’s generally used at the end of sentences to check that the other person is listening and has understood, similar to the English “right?” or “you know?”.

For that reason, it often has a high inflection, as if you’re asking a question – though you don’t necessarily expect a response.

So next time you embark on a long rant in German, try interjecting a “ne?” or two. This can add variety to your tone and at the very least ensure the other person hasn’t fallen asleep halfway through.

Here’s how it’s pronounced.

Auwa

When a German child trips and falls over at the Spielplatz, the first thing they may shout is, “Auwaaaaa!” before calling on their parents to come and comfort them.

But it’s not just the little ones who use this noise to express pain in Germany – adults will also emit an occasional “auwa!” if they accidentally stub their toe.

A sad teddy bear with broken arm

A sad teddy bear with a broken arm. “Auwa” is the most German way to respond to a painful accident. Photo: Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

An alternative to “auwa” is the more English-style “auch!”, which is pronounced the same as “ouch!” but spelled differently. This can also be used to respond to a comment that stings a little, as a good-natured way of letting someone know your feelings were hurt.

Here’s how “auwa” is pronounced.

Puh

Though hearing this word may bring some toilet humour to mind, “puh” has less to do with bodily functions than you might expect.

It’s actually more similar to the English word “phew”, which is used to express tiredness or relief.

One scenario you might use “puh” is after running to the bus stop to catch the last bus home. Once you sprint through the doors and sink into your seat, you may let out an exhausted “puh!” to show your relief at having made it.

Before you forget the more childish connotations entirely though, it’s worth knowing you can also use “puh” when encountering something disgusting.

If it’s your turn to take out the Biomüll and the rotten vegetables are starting to emit a foul odour, you might say, “Puh! Es stinkt!” (Ew! It stinks!”), before hurrying to the bins as fast as you can. 

Here’s how it’s pronounced.

READ ALSO: 12 colourful German expressions that’ll add swagger to your language skills 

Uff / Umpf

If you’ve ever eaten an entire bowl of Käsespätzle, you probably know the sensation of feeling so full you’re about to burst.

For precisely this situation, you’ll need to know “umpf” or “uff”. Both of these words neatly sum up that feeling of being stuffed to the brim with food – but not necessarily in a bad way.

A bit like “oof!” in English, “uff” and “umpf” are ways of showing that you’re both sated and a little bit sleepy after a big meal. With Germany’s very hearty cuisine, they’re both expressions that you’ll need in your life fairly often.

Here’s how “uff” is pronounced.

SHOW COMMENTS