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MOVING TO FRANCE

‘I moved my family to France despite never even visiting the country. I don’t regret it’

American fashion designer Mary Alice Duff moved to France with her family in August 2021 despite having never visited the country before, and barely speaking French. She told us what she learned along the way.

Mary Alice and her family enjoy a day at the beach, accessible from their apartment via protected cycle lanes.
Mary Alice and her family have moved to the southern French city of Montpellier from Philadelphia. (Source: Mary Alice Duff)

When the pandemic first triggered lockdowns in the United States in 2020, Mary Alice Duff spent months at a time working remotely in her family home in Philadelphia. 

As an escapist way of dealing with the pressure of running her plus-sized fashion label from home, she took to the internet. With her six-year-old tucked into bed, she would browse French real estate websites. 

“That had become my stress relief for dealing with Covid,” she said. 

What began as a way to relax after a long day gradually morphed into something more real. 

As they were getting ready to go to sleep one night, she turned to her husband, Alex, and asked him where he would live if he could choose anywhere in the world. Both of them had roots in Philadelphia stretching back multiple generations. He looked her dead in the eye and said “the south of France”. 

Mary Alice was delighted, but not entirely surprised – Alex had been trained as a chef in French-style cuisine and was always complaining about a lack of good cheese markets. 

“The next morning, I woke up and I was like, why don’t we move to the south of France?!”, said Mary Alice.  

For a year, the couple did “tonnes of research”: reading The Local; trying to decide which part of the country to move to; looking for an apartment; investigating transport links and schools; taking basic French classes and of course applying for visas. They also joined Facebook groups to reach out to foreign residents in France for advice. 

The family told all their friends that they would be moving to France and booked tickets. 

“It definitely with the motivation. It helps to make your goals public,” she said. 

In the last week of Mary Alice, Alex and their daughter, Alice, took the plunge and moved to Montpellier – despite having never set foot in France before. 

Mary Alice enjoys a day out in the Jardin des Plantes, one of her favourite spots in Montpellier.

Mary Alice enjoys a day out in the Jardin des Plantes, one of her favourite spots in Montpellier. (Source: Mary Alice Duff)
 

It was when they moved into their first place, a temporary Airbnb, that Mary Alice had her first culture shock. 

“Things are generally smaller in France, and I’m a big person,” she said. 

“I had to duck to walk up the stairs and the shower… I would say it was like getting showered in a coffin. It was so small I had to shimmy into it. It was awful.”

Mary Alice and her family love their new Montpellier apartment, where her husband, Mark, serves up delicious French cuisine.

Mary Alice’s new apartment is much more spacious. (Source: Mary Alice Duff)

With the help of a relocation agency, Mary Alice and her family eventually moved into a new home, just a short bike ride from the beach – much to the delight of the couple’s young daughter. 

“I’ve always said if I could ever live somewhere that has both a city and a beach I will be in heaven. I just never thought I actually afford it because those cities are usually like California,” said Mary Alice. “Then we found Montpellier.” 

Mary Alice and her daughter can cycle to the beach in no time at all.

Mary Alice and her daughter can cycle to the beach in no time at all. (Source: Mary Alice Duff)

But it was more than the beach that attracted the family to this city in particular town. 

It was less expensive than areas further towards the southeast, had good weather, nice architecture, a large international community and a bilingual private school, with which her daughter was “thrilled” with from the very first day of class. 

“I do think if she was in a public school, she would be much further along in French, out of necessity. But I thought it would be a little much just throw her in a public school without speaking a French. The transition felt a little harsh for me,” said Mary Alice. 

Alice Alexander, the clothing business, is doing very well by tapping into an undersupplied European market. 

“In Europe there are virtually no high quality plus-size options in terms of clothing. I literally haven’t bought a single piece of clothing here in seven months, because I can’t just pop into a shop and get something,” said Mary Alice. 

Her husband enjoys cooking French cuisine with fresh ingredients every day and the couple are enjoying the typically chilled out Mediterranean culture of long lunches and a slower pace of life. 

Mary Alice and her family find Montpellier a charming place to live.

Mary Alice and her family find Montpellier a charming place to live. (Source: Mary Alice Duff)

The family have begun to make good friends – both locals and other foreign residents – and are delighted how friendly and polite everyone is. 

“It is a legitimate thing here to say hi to people when you’re walking down the street, go into a shop or get onto the bus. Where I come from, if you shout across the bus to say ‘thank you, bye’, everyone would be like, ‘what’s wrong with this person?!'”. 

Mary Alice’s French is a work in progress – but this hasn’t posed too much difficulty so far. 

“I’ve lost this self-consciousness when it comes to the language. I am willing to try to get my point across. Even when French people start speaking to me in English, I keep speaking in French because I’m not going to learn if I don’t try,” she said. 

“People in the south are so friendly. Every time I go into the shop and try to explain myself, they take their time. Sometimes we take out out phones and Google Translate with each other. We’re fine. There’s enough tech.”

Mary Alice believes sometimes in life, you simply have to take the plunge.

Mary Alice believes sometimes in life, you simply have to take the plunge. (Source: Mary Alice Duff)

Mary Alice believes that sometimes in life, it is worth taking a leap of faith. 

“Me and my husband’s original agreement with each other was we were going to try for two years, and if we were both miserable, we could say ‘Okay, we’ve had enough,'” she said. 

“I would say my biggest thing is you just have to try and you have to be willing to fail. You have to be willing to make a fool of yourself and for people to say, ‘Are you crazy? Like, what are you thinking?'”

“There is nothing worse than wondering what could have been.” 

If you want to practice your French listening skills and learn more about the story of Mary Alice, Alex and Alice, you can watch a documentary about their story, released on TF1 on Saturday, here

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LIVING IN FRANCE

Which towns and cities are the safest in France?

France's interior ministry has released its latest crime statistics, giving a better idea of which parts of France might be considered the safest.

Which towns and cities are the safest in France?

France’s interior ministry has published updated crime statistics across France with data from 2023, and in response, French daily Le Parisien came up with a ranking for the safest towns and cities with more than 50,000 inhabitants across the country.

The publication based its score for each town on the rates of 10 different crimes listed by France’s interior ministry, which were split into four sub-sections: home burglaries, violent assaults, theft and petty theft, as well as a score for what it referred to as “the living environment” (drug trafficking and usage, as well as ‘deliberate property destruction and damage’).

1. Cherbourg-en-Cotentin

The city of Cherbourg-en-Cotentin, located in the Manche département in north-western France, had the lowest amount of crime overall, ranking in first place.

As of 2021, the city was home to 77,808 people, and it is famous for its Cité de la Mer (“city of the sea”) maritime museum.

In terms of home burglaries, the city has seen the number double over the last two years, but it still remains well below the national average with approximately three burglaries per 1,000 inhabitants as of 2023. 

In comparison, the city of Paris recorded 8.6 burglaries per 1,000 homes, and the national average as of 2022 was 5.8 per 1,000 homes.

In an interview with Le Parisien, the mayor of Cherbourg-en-Cotentin credited their strong results by stating that “there is also a healthy dialogue between the municipal police, the national police and the justice system.”

2. Boulogne-Billancourt

After Cherbourg-en-Cotentin, the French daily ranked Boulogne-Billancourt, a suburb to the south-west of Paris, in second place.

Generally, the wealthy suburbs in the western and southern parts of the Paris region faired well.

Alongside Boulogne-Billancourt, six other locations in the Paris region were also listed in the top 10 safest places, including Courbevoie in fourth place, Versailles in fifth place, Antony in sixth place, Clamart in seventh place, Levallois-Perret in eighth place, and Maisons-Alfort in ninth place.

3. Ajaccio in Corsica

The Corsican capital came in third place, based on Le Parisien’s rankings.

The port city is notably where Napoleon Bonaparte was born, and it is home to his ancestral home – the Bonaparte house, now a museum.

As of 2020, the population was 72,647. 

After Ajaccio, most of the other places that were ranked in the top 10 were towns in the Paris suburbs.

Courbevoie came in fourth place, Versailles in fifth place, Antony in sixth place, Clamart in seventh place, Levallois-Perret in eighth place, and Maisons-Alfort in ninth place.

In 10th place came Cagnes-sur-Mer in the Alpes-Maritimes département in southern France. After Cherbourg and Ajaccio it was the only other location outside of the Paris region to make the top 10.

Outside of Paris several medium-sized cities – namely Annecy (14th place) in south-eastern France, Montauban (15th place)near Toulouse in south-western France, and Vannes (18th place) in the western region Brittany – came in the top 20.

What about the larger cities?

France’s largest cities – Paris, Marseille, and Lyon – ranked significantly lower, coming in 103rd, 116th and 94th place respectively.

Le Parisien did not list a single city with more than 200,000 inhabitants in the top 30 – the best was Strasbourg, which came in 41st place.

After that, Nice (55th) and Nantes (59th) performed best for large urban areas.

It is worth noting that crime in large cities tends to look differently from that in rural areas or small and medium-sized cities.

Generally, crime in smaller cities tended to be less related to assault and battery or by violent theft, but they were more exposed to home burglaries.

In larger cities, theft and robbery – both violent and non-violent – were more common, but even this metric depended based on the city.

Paris, which gets millions of tourists per year, topped the charts nationally for non-violent theft (ie pickpocketing), while Marseille and Lyon had comparatively high levels of vehicle theft.

And in terms of sexual violence, the reported rate varied little based on city-size.

What is the general crime picture in France?

Based on the 2023 report by the interior ministry, crime has increased. However, when it comes to global rankings, the country still performs better than both the United States and United Kingdom.

Homicides went up by five percent in 2023, though this is smaller than the nine percent growth seen in 2022.

Meanwhile drug trafficking charges increased by four percent, which is comparatively smaller than the 14 percent increase in 2022 and 38 percent increase in 2021.

Assault and battery went up by seven percent in 2023, and sexual violence reports also increased by eight percent.

How to look at crime data yourself

They have also updated the interactive map of the country, which can be used by anyone interested in comparing crime rates between different départements in France.

You can access here.

A screenshot of the interactive map with data from France’s interior ministry.

When looking at the map, you can find information based on13 different types of crimes (indicateur) – including home robberies (cambriolage de logement), drug trafficking (trafic de stupéfiants), and sexual violence (violence sexuelle).

The map also allows you to select specific areas (communes), as well as the year you want to look at – going back to 2016.

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