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MY SWEDISH CAREER

My Swedish Career: How an ultimate frisbee league is creating community in Sweden

After moving to Sweden from the UK hoping to find a better work-life balance, Erin Brownbill initially struggled to meet people and strike up friendships in her new country. However, she found a community through a sport she loved – ultimate frisbee.

My Swedish Career: How an ultimate frisbee league is creating community in Sweden
Erin Brownbill during a game of ultimate frisbee. Photo: Illia Shypunov Ultimate Photography

Many who move to Sweden experience an initial reservedness or difficulty to make friends, with the country often named in surveys as one of the worst places to make new friends. For Erin, her ultimate frisbee league was a way to connect with other people after her move.

“I think it’s difficult moving countries anyway, but it does feel sometimes in Sweden that you have to really put yourself out there and make the first move, so joining this club meant that we met tens of people and quickly got invited to a drink after a training session,” she tells The Local.

Erin moved to Sweden with her partner two years ago looking for a change from their busy London lifestyle, being attracted by the Swedish work-life balance.

“It feels very quiet compared to London which has loads and loads of people all the time so there is a sense of peace which is good. That being said, there are less things to do potentially than the busy London life,” she says.

Having played ultimate frisbee throughout university, even representing Great Britain at a junior level, Erin looked up an ultimate frisbee league in Stockholm when she arrived. 

“Coming here I always had it in the back of my mind, I hope there is a frisbee team! And there was,” she says about how she originally found her club, the Stockholm Ultimate Frisbee Club, where she plays for the women’s team Valkyria.

The team organises several training sessions per week in their youth, women’s, opens and mixed divisions.

“It’s a sport that you wouldn’t necessarily know about but once you’re in it it is a massive world of clubs and teams.”

Photo: Illia Shypunov Ultimate Photography

What is ultimate frisbee?

Ultimate frisbee is a non-contact sport that Erin describes as a mixture of American football and basketball. 

Something that sets it apart from some other sports is its strong culture, which is what initially drew her to trying it out.

“It has a really good ethos to it where it is self refereed. It is quite unique actually,” Erin explained.

According to Ultimate Frisbee HQ, what is known as The Spirit of the Game is a code of conduct which runs deep in every player – treat others how you would want to be treated. There is therefore no referee needed on the pitch.

Although there are youth and women-only teams in the club, there are also mixed teams, something that is quite unusual for many sports leagues.

“I think the mixed thing is really good. Now I have my partner here as well: we can go to those practices together and train together,” Erin said.

Photo: Illia Shypunov Ultimate Photography

Getting through Covid

The Covid pandemic meant that most team activities needed to be put on hold during 2020. This was also the case for Erin’s Stockholm ultimate frisbee club who stopped indoor training.

“Official training sessions stopped, but the community was still there so a few of us went on socially distanced walks, we met up in smaller groups,” she says.

During the summer with better weather, some training was able to be taken up again outside, and the Beach National Championships still went ahead. However, a large portion of the team was made up of international students, most of whom had returned home, which has affected the team numbers greatly.

“From a woman’s perspective I think it’s really sad as well,” Erin says, noting how her team Valkyria is short on members.

With vaccinations under way in Sweden, Erin is hopeful membership numbers will begin to rise again.

“It appeals to someone who wants to be fit and healthy but also wants to play a team sport and team sports offer a lot, it’s fun to play together, you really get to know your teammates, we help each other.”

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READER INSIGHTS

‘We all cheer each other on’: How we made friends in Sweden

Sweden is often rated as a difficult country to make friends in. We asked those who've been there, done that – or in other words, The Local's readers – how they met their closest friends in Sweden.

'We all cheer each other on': How we made friends in Sweden

“They are so supportive, caring and understanding,” said Erin Swoverland, a reader from the US, about her friends. “We all listen, lift each other up and cheer each other on. I feel so incredibly lucky to have such amazing women in my corner.”

She met most of them at a gym in Stockholm. 

“I attended a Friday training class for women and the rest is history. I will say I think it being a small, independent gym made all the difference as we actually spoke to each other. I haven’t had the same interactions at larger chains,” she said.

Erin was one of dozens of readers who responded to The Local’s question about how they found their friends in Sweden, sparked by a recent survey which showed that 13 percent of foreigners lack a close friend (double the number of Swedes who said the same thing).

A lot of readers alluded to the part-truth, part-stereotype that Swedes tend to compartmentalise their lives and prefer organised fun over spontaneous activities, and one of the classic strategies that always comes up in these discussions is to join some kind of club or society.

The benefit of “organised fun” is that Sweden has a vibrant föreningsliv (literally “association life”), with many people involved in for example their local football club, gaming hub, gardening society, trade union, hiking club, or even just being on the board of their housing association.

“As I always liked cycling, running, badminton, indoor climbing and a few other sports, I found groups on Meetup for such activities. This helped me meet like-minded people. Soon afterwards, some of us started to hang out together for beers or pizzas etc. Thanks to these people we started to invite other people to our gatherings. Finally today, I have a large network of very interesting and close friends (immigrants as well as Swedish friends). When I look back, I realise that it was much easier to get to know people in events having just six to eight people. If you go in a large group setting it is difficult to meet people as splinter groups start getting formed,” said a Pakistani reader.

“I have been in Sweden for over 15 years now. During this time our close friendship network has just increased. Like any friends, we fight and argue at times, but at the same time I know that my friends care about me. I feel at home in Sweden with this circle of friends.”

He wasn’t the only one who suggested joining a society (although one reader cautioned against “survivorship bias” and pointed out that not everyone manages to turn up at event and immediately make friends). Even if you don’t join a traditional club, readers recommended plenty of other networking opportunities, including sites or friendship apps such as Meetup, Bumble BFF, Panion and GoFrendly.

Nathan Lloyd, a Welshman in Malmö, recommends networking meetups, even if they’re not directly relevant to your own field, as well as Facebook groups. He met his best friend, Brian, via Grindr – not the only one we’ve heard of who made platonic friends on dating apps.

“He’s truly my best friend. Been friends for over six years,” he said. “We enjoy loppising together, going out in nature, birdwatching and art, a major thing we bonded over. He’s been there through highs and lows and helped me in emergency situations when I’ve needed someone.”

Nathan Lloyd, centre, with his friend, Brian, and partner, Tom, at the Konstrundan art weekend in southern Sweden. Photo: Private

Not being afraid of putting yourself out there and making the first move was another tip that came up in the survey, with many describing Swedes as warm friends – perhaps even surprisingly warm – once you break through the shell.

“First and foremost, don’t try too hard. Best friends are the organic ones that come in your life at the moments you don’t expect. Be open and give a shot to those who seem to be more open. Swedes who have been abroad frequently are exceptionally more pleasant to keep around,” said Hadi from Iran, who first moved to Sweden in 2010 and now lives in the south of the country.

OPINION:

Peter, a reader who works at Lund University in southern Sweden, befriended his new neighbour after knocking on their door to ask if he could use their wifi until he managed to get his own.

“We have been very good friends ever since, even after I moved to another town. I find Swedes to be very friendly in general, but sometimes I need to make the first effort,” he said.

Robert Blomstrand, a born Swede who lived most of his life abroad, says he and his South African wife, Vanessa, met amazing friends in church and were surprised by their warmth and care.

“Through this we learned Swedish and had many wonderful Swedish experiences (sailing, meals, celebrations). Still very good friends,” he said.

Robert Blomstrand’s friends on a sailing trip to the Gothenburg archipelago. Photo: Private

Ioannis, based in southern Stockholm, said he met most of his friends through university or work and then made sure that the friendships were maintained after studies finished or work changed.

“Important first step was to accept that it is me, the one that has to make an effort. Then show interest in others, learn about who they are and how they are like. Share experiences with them, also offer help and support and ask for help and support. Independence and individualism can be an obstacle in creating social bonds. Make the effort, without expecting same returns. Give it time.”

“I believe that if you want a friend, you have to be a friend first,” said Jeremiah from the US. “My friends are people who were willing to invest in a building a relationship because they didn’t have them locally. We connected over the shared experience of being displaced and learning how to adult again. The connections grew because we had other shared interests, were willing to spend more time together, and were willing to help each other.”

“Focus on finding people who like doing things that you enjoy, like going to museums, movies, etc,” said a Stockholm-based reader, who made friends with his colleague after inviting him to a drag show at the Abba Museum.

“It’s so much easier to make friends during the things you like. Like any relationship, don’t try and rush it,” he added. “Just continue to reach out for times to hang out, and be OK with them not always saying yes the first time. We’re all busy. I also found it easier to make friends with folks, particularly Swedes, who weren’t from Stockholm (or whatever city you’re living in) as they generally have smaller networks/ open to make new friends in Stockholm.

Several readers expressed sadness that they hadn’t made any Swedish friends and that all their friends were fellow foreigners.

“I made friends through work (international company) and from my country of origin. I don’t have any Swedish friends even though I have been living in Stockholm for 15 years,” said a Colombian reader.

Some readers, however, argued that it isn’t necessarily strange, or a negative, that foreigners end up with foreigners, as you share similar experiences. Having a community with people you feel close to and have something in common with matters more than who they are.

“Close friendships are built because you share some experiences in life. I was an immigrant in Sweden, hence like all immigrants in Sweden I faced many issues time after time, for example issues related to visa or bank accounts,” said the Pakistani reader from the start of the article. “It is much easier to connect with people when you share similar issues. Don’t be afraid to talk about your experiences. This helps to bring us closer.”

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