SHARE
COPY LINK
For members

SOCIAL LIFE

Ten things to know before you party with Swedes

From The Local's archive: Our top tips on how to party in Sweden, from bringing your own booze to the benefits of good socks and underwear.

Ten things to know before you party with Swedes
ARE YOU READY TO PARTY? Ok, just take your shoes off first. Photo: Melker Dahlstrand/imagebank.sweden.se

1. Arrive on time

Being punctual is a must. If the invite says the party starts at 7pm, turn up at 7pm, when you may even find a crowd on the doorstep. There is no such thing as being fashionably late in Sweden. 

2. Hug your host

Whether you’re dropping in on a new neighbour or bracing yourself for cocktails with your boss, prepare to be greeted with a hug on your arrival. You won’t get away with an air kiss or a high five no matter how hard you try.

3. Take your shoes off

Swedes don’t wear shoes indoors. So after that hug and while you’re busy waving at the other guests, you also need to negotiate taking off your shoes.

Avoid sock-based humiliation by checking for holes before you set off from home. If you’re short and usually wear heels, prepare to be towered over by tall Swedes for the evening.

4. Shake hands with or hug everyone else

Once you’ve peeled off your shoes and layers, you can join the party. If you know people already, you should head over and give them a hug (even if you’ve only met them once before).

Then, you’re expected to introduce yourself to everyone else in the room with a handshake. Got drunk at the last party you went to? Cue an awkward half-hug-half-handshake with that guy you don’t remember talking to a month ago.

5. Bring your own booze

Time for a drink to help you through all this confusing Swedish etiquette? Don’t help yourself to whatever is open in the kitchen.

Swedes bring their own alcohol to parties, often keeping it in a neat plastic bag throughout the night. Off licences close at 3pm on a Saturday in Sweden and there is nowhere else to buy booze after this time (unless you go to a bar) so it is no wonder that people are protective of their bubbles.

6. But don’t turn down a shot

If some generous fellow has brought along some snaps, you’ll be frowned upon for not joining in.

Beware that spirit consumption in Sweden often leads to a lot of singing. You’ll be fluent in Swedish in no time after joining in with the drinking songs.

7. Prepare for bedroom-based dancing

Once you’re full of beers, you may well be in the mood for a boogie.

Sweden’s big cities have a higher proportion of studio apartments than most major urban centres in Europe, so if your host is single or you’re partying with a couple in their twenties or thirties then there is a strong chance you’ll find yourself making shapes next to someone’s bed or underwear drawer (more on this later).

8. Don’t touch the last snacks

Feeling peckish after all that dancing and drinking? Whatever you do, don’t polish off the last of the snacks in the kitchen.

Swedes are polite and that final piece of ostbågar or dillchips you’ve spotted is likely to linger in the bowl for hours. Nobody wants to be seen to be greedy in Sweden. Do you?

9. Leave drugs at home

Drugs are a taboo in Sweden, so no matter how wild a snaps-fuelled party has become, you’re likely to lose friends quickly among most crowds if you suggest adding any illegal substances into the mix.

10. Wear your best underwear

Swedes have a reputation for being more sexually liberated than people from other countries and one night stands are less of a taboo here than in many places. Yes of course not all Swedish people fit this stereotype. But then again, you might just get lucky…

Article written by Maddy Savage in 2014.

Member comments

Log in here to leave a comment.
Become a Member to leave a comment.

READER INSIGHTS

‘We all cheer each other on’: How we made friends in Sweden

Sweden is often rated as a difficult country to make friends in. We asked those who've been there, done that – or in other words, The Local's readers – how they met their closest friends in Sweden.

'We all cheer each other on': How we made friends in Sweden

“They are so supportive, caring and understanding,” said Erin Swoverland, a reader from the US, about her friends. “We all listen, lift each other up and cheer each other on. I feel so incredibly lucky to have such amazing women in my corner.”

She met most of them at a gym in Stockholm. 

“I attended a Friday training class for women and the rest is history. I will say I think it being a small, independent gym made all the difference as we actually spoke to each other. I haven’t had the same interactions at larger chains,” she said.

Erin was one of dozens of readers who responded to The Local’s question about how they found their friends in Sweden, sparked by a recent survey which showed that 13 percent of foreigners lack a close friend (double the number of Swedes who said the same thing).

A lot of readers alluded to the part-truth, part-stereotype that Swedes tend to compartmentalise their lives and prefer organised fun over spontaneous activities, and one of the classic strategies that always comes up in these discussions is to join some kind of club or society.

The benefit of “organised fun” is that Sweden has a vibrant föreningsliv (literally “association life”), with many people involved in for example their local football club, gaming hub, gardening society, trade union, hiking club, or even just being on the board of their housing association.

“As I always liked cycling, running, badminton, indoor climbing and a few other sports, I found groups on Meetup for such activities. This helped me meet like-minded people. Soon afterwards, some of us started to hang out together for beers or pizzas etc. Thanks to these people we started to invite other people to our gatherings. Finally today, I have a large network of very interesting and close friends (immigrants as well as Swedish friends). When I look back, I realise that it was much easier to get to know people in events having just six to eight people. If you go in a large group setting it is difficult to meet people as splinter groups start getting formed,” said a Pakistani reader.

“I have been in Sweden for over 15 years now. During this time our close friendship network has just increased. Like any friends, we fight and argue at times, but at the same time I know that my friends care about me. I feel at home in Sweden with this circle of friends.”

He wasn’t the only one who suggested joining a society (although one reader cautioned against “survivorship bias” and pointed out that not everyone manages to turn up at event and immediately make friends). Even if you don’t join a traditional club, readers recommended plenty of other networking opportunities, including sites or friendship apps such as Meetup, Bumble BFF, Panion and GoFrendly.

Nathan Lloyd, a Welshman in Malmö, recommends networking meetups, even if they’re not directly relevant to your own field, as well as Facebook groups. He met his best friend, Brian, via Grindr – not the only one we’ve heard of who made platonic friends on dating apps.

“He’s truly my best friend. Been friends for over six years,” he said. “We enjoy loppising together, going out in nature, birdwatching and art, a major thing we bonded over. He’s been there through highs and lows and helped me in emergency situations when I’ve needed someone.”

Nathan Lloyd, centre, with his friend, Brian, and partner, Tom, at the Konstrundan art weekend in southern Sweden. Photo: Private

Not being afraid of putting yourself out there and making the first move was another tip that came up in the survey, with many describing Swedes as warm friends – perhaps even surprisingly warm – once you break through the shell.

“First and foremost, don’t try too hard. Best friends are the organic ones that come in your life at the moments you don’t expect. Be open and give a shot to those who seem to be more open. Swedes who have been abroad frequently are exceptionally more pleasant to keep around,” said Hadi from Iran, who first moved to Sweden in 2010 and now lives in the south of the country.

OPINION:

Peter, a reader who works at Lund University in southern Sweden, befriended his new neighbour after knocking on their door to ask if he could use their wifi until he managed to get his own.

“We have been very good friends ever since, even after I moved to another town. I find Swedes to be very friendly in general, but sometimes I need to make the first effort,” he said.

Robert Blomstrand, a born Swede who lived most of his life abroad, says he and his South African wife, Vanessa, met amazing friends in church and were surprised by their warmth and care.

“Through this we learned Swedish and had many wonderful Swedish experiences (sailing, meals, celebrations). Still very good friends,” he said.

Robert Blomstrand’s friends on a sailing trip to the Gothenburg archipelago. Photo: Private

Ioannis, based in southern Stockholm, said he met most of his friends through university or work and then made sure that the friendships were maintained after studies finished or work changed.

“Important first step was to accept that it is me, the one that has to make an effort. Then show interest in others, learn about who they are and how they are like. Share experiences with them, also offer help and support and ask for help and support. Independence and individualism can be an obstacle in creating social bonds. Make the effort, without expecting same returns. Give it time.”

“I believe that if you want a friend, you have to be a friend first,” said Jeremiah from the US. “My friends are people who were willing to invest in a building a relationship because they didn’t have them locally. We connected over the shared experience of being displaced and learning how to adult again. The connections grew because we had other shared interests, were willing to spend more time together, and were willing to help each other.”

“Focus on finding people who like doing things that you enjoy, like going to museums, movies, etc,” said a Stockholm-based reader, who made friends with his colleague after inviting him to a drag show at the Abba Museum.

“It’s so much easier to make friends during the things you like. Like any relationship, don’t try and rush it,” he added. “Just continue to reach out for times to hang out, and be OK with them not always saying yes the first time. We’re all busy. I also found it easier to make friends with folks, particularly Swedes, who weren’t from Stockholm (or whatever city you’re living in) as they generally have smaller networks/ open to make new friends in Stockholm.

Several readers expressed sadness that they hadn’t made any Swedish friends and that all their friends were fellow foreigners.

“I made friends through work (international company) and from my country of origin. I don’t have any Swedish friends even though I have been living in Stockholm for 15 years,” said a Colombian reader.

Some readers, however, argued that it isn’t necessarily strange, or a negative, that foreigners end up with foreigners, as you share similar experiences. Having a community with people you feel close to and have something in common with matters more than who they are.

“Close friendships are built because you share some experiences in life. I was an immigrant in Sweden, hence like all immigrants in Sweden I faced many issues time after time, for example issues related to visa or bank accounts,” said the Pakistani reader from the start of the article. “It is much easier to connect with people when you share similar issues. Don’t be afraid to talk about your experiences. This helps to bring us closer.”

SHOW COMMENTS