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More childcare, less paperwork: How Germany can make life easier for foreign parents

As Germany celebrates International Women’s Day, many foreign parents say the government should consider new measures to improve gender equality within households.  

More childcare, less paperwork: How Germany can make life easier for foreign parents
A father looks after his young child at home. Photo: picture alliance/dpa/dpa-tmn | Christin Klose

Germany ranked sixth in the world for gender equality, according to a 2023 World Economic Report. The report ranks countries for equality of economic and educational opportunities, for health coverage, and for political empowerment.

Still, the gender pay gap is not limited to hourly earnings and bonus payments. Working in lower-paid sectors and fewer working hours also contribute to the gap between men and women’s pay. According to statistics from the German Federal Statistical Office, working women in Germany earned 18 percent less than men in 2023. 

Limited childcare options leave expat parents in a bind

However, gender equality is more than bridging the pay gap. Some expat parents in Germany say the government should do more to make full time work possible for both parents. 

Julianna ElSayed, mother of a Kita-aged son in Düsseldorf, said extending Kita opening hours would be a great place to start. But, she said, this would only help if the extended hours could be maintained to help parents plan their days. 

“We often encounter situations where we have to pick up the children earlier, or the Kita has to be closed or there’s an emergency and people have to pick up the children earlier,” she said. “This caused a lot of tension for us because we are both working, my husband is working full time, I’m working 30 hours per week. It’s hard for me to pick him up earlier.”

Many of the shortened days were caused by staff shortages. This is a problem felt across Germany, and an issue expected to remain for years to come. In a survey published by the German Kindergarten Directors’ Congress in spring 2023, 64 percent of the Kita directors surveyed said they had been short-staffed more than 20 percent of the time last year.

READ ALSO: How expensive is childcare across Germany?

ElSayed’s son goes to Kita from 8 to 14:30. She works part time during the mornings and picks him up from Kita in the afternoons. ElSayed said this pick-up schedule can be difficult for households that need both parents to work full time.

“This is a real issue because both of the parents cannot really work full time, especially for expats, as I see most of us don’t have relatives here who could jump in,” ElSayed said.

Irene Brandt, an American mother of two living in Heidelberg, agreed. She said cities should consider the density of parents in an area when deciding how many extended hour daycare facilities should be available.  

“If you have a lot of people in one area, making sure within a radius, you have at least one or two Kitas that offer extended care and maybe filtering it a bit by whether both parents work full time, so they can get priority for these places,” she said. 

READ ALSO: Everything that changes for families in Germany in 2024

Brandt is a full time doctoral student and her husband works full time as a software engineer. She said improvements to Germany’s childcare services would help her focus more attention on her job.

“I’m trying to squeeze in as much as possible before I have to leave to pick her up at 2:30pm,” Brandt said. “My daughter’s kindergarten doesn’t offer anything extended.”   

Children at a kita in Schlewsig-Holstein

Children at a kita in Kiel, Schleswig-Holstein. Photo: picture alliance/dpa | Axel Heimken

But Kita opening hours are not the only problem expat parents face: the lack of translation for important documents to access state resources or sign up for daycare is another major hurdle for foreign parents in Germany. 

Lack of translations 

ElSayed speaks German fluently, but her husband is still learning the language. She said creating more translated resources could help ease the transition for parents in dual-language households. 

“I don’t think it’s a weird expectation to have at least one person in Kita who could speak English and help out,” she said. “Even though I speak German, sometimes I don’t understand simply because I don’t have the background knowledge of how the system works.”

ElSayed previously lived in the Czech Republic and said her village had an expat center to help immigrants with translation and understanding cultural differences. She said the creation of something similar in Germany could help many expat families know what resources are available for them. 

Maxine Edwards, a Bavaria-based Australian-German mother of two, agreed. Edwards said moving from Australia where online resources and help hotlines were abundant was a challenge. She said Germany could aid parents by creating similar hotlines or online chats. 

“I always have to translate everything into English,” she said. “Germany doesn’t have that help if I need assistance, so I’m literally just guessing through the paperwork.”

Connor Robinson, an American father of two, said streamlining resources would be another way to even out the load between parents. 

READ ALSO: What benefits are you entitled to if you have children in Germany?

“My experience is probably unique because my wife is German, because of that she is knowledgeable of the different benefits and resources that exist,” he said. “On my side I would have a hard time knowing where to look… all these resources are available but they are all in different offices within the German government, so that can be confusing.”

Parental leave

Brandt, who is American, said parental leave is one of the benefits that can be confusing for expats. She said her husband’s German company offered him up to 12 months of parental leave. But the family could only afford him taking one month off because of reductions in salary. 

“There was a cap on how much he could collect which then reduced the amount of months that he took off,” Brandt said. “The nice thing that Germany does is [that] then for the rest of the months that he had left in the parental leave they were able to transfer it to me so I got about €200 or €300 per month.”

Children hold hands at a Kita in Hamburg.

Children hold hands at a Kita in Hamburg. Photo: picture alliance/dpa | Christian Charisius

She said adjustments could be made so more fathers could take more time off if interested – a change that would also take pressure off mothers of ill children. 

READ ALSO: Everything you need to know about parental leave in Germany

“Our daughter had significant health issues the first six months – you can never plan for that,” Brandt said. “That’s when you would want parental leave to kick in, since we didn’t use the 12 months just for him to be home for a week and not worry about the salary loss.”

But compared to not having statutory parental leave in the US, the system in Germany was still an improvement, she added.

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READER QUESTIONS

When should you consider a prenup in Germany?

Like many countries, Germany allows prenuptial agreements which can simplify asset division if marriage ends in divorce. Not every marrying couple needs one, but there are certain cases where it makes sense, a German lawyer told The Local.

When should you consider a prenup in Germany?

German family law and asset division following divorce typically follows one main rule that can be summed up like so: “What you bring in, you take out.”

This means that any assets either partner brings into the marriage on the day it takes place remain their assets if a divorce happens.

This differs from some other countries, where any assets either partner brings into the marriage could also be fair game for 50-50 division if they divorce and no prenup exists. People living in these countries may well want to sign a prenup simply stating that what each partner brings in, they take out.

In Germany though, this is the legal situation by default. That’s why even two partners entering into a marriage in Germany on an unequal financial footing might still decide they don’t need a prenup.

There are some notable caveats to this though – and knowing them may influence whether you decide to go for a prenup or not.

The ‘community of accrued gains’

After two people get married in Germany, anything either one of them gains becomes subject to 50-50 division if a divorce happens and there’s no prenup. But this depends on the status of certain assets and whether a gain has been realised on that asset or not.

For example, let’s say one partner enters a marriage in Germany with a €300,000 flat solely in their name and €5,000 in their bank account. Let’s then suppose that after five years of marriage, this person chooses to divorce their partner, still owning the flat and then having seen their bank account grow to €30,000. In this case, their contribution to the “community of accrued gains” under German law would be €25,000. The flat and the €5,000 they brought into the marriage would remain theirs.

Property that either partner brings into the marriage usually leaves with them in divorce even if there’s no prenup in Germany. But selling it during the marriage is a different matter. Photo: Larry Penaloza/Pexels

The situation changes though if that partner sold the flat in question during the marriage and it gained in value. Let’s say that partner sold that €300,000 flat for €500,000. In the event of a divorce, they would keep the first €300,000, but the €200,000 increase would be subject to the “community of accrued gains” and thus fair game for division.

If that partner wanted to preserve any future gains in the value of their flat, they might well consider a prenup in Germany.

There is one notable exception to the community of accrued gains, which applies when one partner inherits or is gifted something. The base value of anything that partner inherits remains theirs in the event of a divorce. If it gains in value over the course of the marriage though, it becomes subject to division. So a partner who inherits a €400,000 stock portfolio from a parent would keep that first €400,000 in the event of a divorce. If the portfolio gained €200,000 in value in the meantime though, it would be subject to division.

Who else might want to consider a prenup in Germany?

“Anyone who comes into a marriage with children from a previous marriage – so patchwork families – and you want to make sure those children want to receive certain assets, you might want to consider a prenup,” says Andreas Moser, a Chemnitz-based lawyer specialising in German citizenship, immigration, and family law.

Moser also says small business owners – especially professionals like doctors and lawyers who might have their own practice, should certainly consider a prenup. Otherwise they run the risk of having to liquidate their business in a divorce in order to pay out their ex.

What needs to be in a prenup?

“There’s no standard form or list of things that you need to include. You can really cover whatever you want for your marriage,” says Moser. “But they must be fair.”

This means that a German court may throw out a completely one-sided prenup. It’s also likely to throw out anything one partner signed under duress. That’s why it’s typically important to discuss a prenup with plenty of lead time before the wedding – in order to prove that both partners had plenty of time to consider the implications of what they signed.

Prenups in Germany typically cover spousal support, property, and retirement benefits. They cannot cover child custody.

One thing to note here is that foreign citizens in Germany can specify that they wish the law of their home country to apply. If they do that, this needs to be specifically stated in the prenup, otherwise German law will apply by default.

EXPLAINED: How does shared custody after divorce work in Germany?

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