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The do’s and don’ts of getting a divorce in France (from someone who’s done it)

Getting a divorce in France can be difficult emotionally, but that's just the start of your troubles, writes Carys M Evans.

Published: 29 March 2017 16:58 CEST
The do's and don'ts of getting a divorce in France (from someone who's done it)
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Translator Carys M. Evans not only went through a divorce of her own with a Frenchman, but she has written a book about it. Here are her tips.

Let’s talk about a rocky relationship on a more personal level, when the European dream of marriage, children and happy-ever-after in la belle France ends in a Eurosceptic-worthy divorce. 

So what are the “I do’s” and the “I don’ts” that will help you avoid the pitfalls of divorce “à la française”? Read on:

I do …

… check under what statutory regime I am married. You may have got married in the UK (and therefore under the separation of property system) but, as you’ll be far too busy singing La Vie en Rose and dreaming of shopping in Le Bonpoint to notice, after living for three years in France, you’ll automatically come under the French community of property system.

And no, they don’t send you a letter in case you missed this finer point of the law. This means that, once you’re married, unless you’ve drawn up a contract, it’s that good old French notion of solidarity and community that applies …. And waving a British marriage certificate at the family affairs judge won’t get you your money back.

I don’t …

… throw my clout until my divorce is out. Now incredible as this may seem, adultery applies until the day your divorce is pronounced by the judge. This means that, even if you’ve been separated for years, in the eyes of the law you’re required to remain faithful to your estranged wife or husband. Strange, as adultery during the marriage seems to raise no eyebrows… time to channel your inner Abbé Pierre or Joan of Arc.

I do …

… think carefully about where I want my children to grow up. Children often find themselves in the middle of a nasty custody battle … especially if you want to take the children out of the country and “back home”. Just remember that “Made in France” is all the rage at the moment … and even the judges have signed up for it.

I don’t …

… “desert the marital home”. Another one, up there with adultery, that can make you vulnerable to the dreaded divorce for “fault”. Remember that friends tend to stay with the half of the couple that didn’t move out into a squalid flat after the separation … so best stay put.

I do …

…start saving for the divorce as soon as that wedding band is firmly ensconced on my ring finger. Heard of the expression “kick you when you’re down”? Then get ready to hand over most of your savings to cover divorce taxes, stamp duties, solicitor and lawyer fees … not forgetting all those psychologist and caviste bills.

I don’t …

… criticise the French or anything French-related for the entire duration of my marriage. Any negative remarks touching on anything from the French education system to the price and quality of a cup of tea will be mentally recorded and used against you in the divorce court.

I do …

… avoid trying to get divorced in December, February, April, May, June, July and August. Basically, you have a divorce window between September and November, and at a push January and March. At all other times the lawyer or the judge will be on holiday. You may be able to talk to an assistant or stagiaire though, and while they wield no power whatsoever, being less jaded, they may actually show a little bit of concern.

I don’t …

…depend on the police or the gendarmerie to help me with my domestic affairs – you are just the hysterical foreigner who doesn’t understand the local customs. For extreme cases only but you can’t say I didn’t warn you.

I do …

… still say ‘I do’ to the French. Because Paris is the city of love and romance, because they have a kiss named after them, because guests get to buy two outfits to go to a French wedding and because love still has the power to transcend borders … at a time when so much effort is being put into putting them back up all around us.

Divorcing in France is the subject of “French for Divorce: Game on/Faites vos jeux” by Carys M. Evans, a satirical novel based in France and inspired the author’s own expat experience of a mixed marriage and of living… or rather divorcing … abroad. Follow on Facebook here, or find the book on Amazon here. 

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READER QUESTION

How do you get a British passport for a baby born in France?

While French citizenship is not automatic for children born in France, those who are born to British parents are entitled to British nationality (and therefore a passport) from birth. Here's how to apply for the passport.

Published: 3 May 2024 16:06 CEST
How do you get a British passport for a baby born in France?

A child born in France to British parents who  are living over here will be considered British and will therefore – initially at least – need a British passport in order to travel overseas.

This is because the process to become French, even for those born on French soil, is not a given. Unlike countries, such as the USA which confers citizenship automatically to anyone born on US soil – with all the benefits and issues that may have in later life (yes, we’re looking at you, FATCA), the process is rather more complicated for children born in France to foreign parents.

READ ALSO Guide: How to request French nationality for your child

But the child will be considered British from birth, which means that a British passport will be required for any trips outside of the country.

Registration

First of all, you can register your France-born child’s birth with British authorities, so that it is recorded in the UK with the General Register Office or at the National Records Office of Scotland.

Parents do not have to do this, but if you choose to, you can then order a consular birth registration certificate for a fee.

Passport

However, Britons born in France can still apply for a British passport, even if their birth was not originally registered with UK authorities.

Assuming the first application for a passport is made while the applicant is still a child, you can find the online process here, on the British Government website.

If you’re applying for a passport for your child, you will need to supply:

  • A suitable digital photograph of the child/baby – examples of acceptable photographs are displayed here … good luck!
  • Original or certified copies of any necessary supporting documents, plus translations as necessary;
  • And payment, using a credit or debit card. The fee for a standard passport is £101 for an adult, and £65.50 for a child, plus a £19.86 courier fee. NB: you can also apply by post, but it is cheaper online.

For reference, supporting documents will include:

  • The child’s birth certificate – plus a translation, unless you previously registered with the consulate / UK authorities;
  • One of your parents’ birth certificates / naturalisation / registration certificates. If this is your father, his marriage certificate to your mother

To get copies of birth, marriage or death certificates issued in England or Wales, go to www.gov.uk/bmdcertificates

For documents issued in Northern Ireland, go to www.nidirect.gov.uk and for Scotland go to www.nrscotland.gov.uk

You will need to pay a fee for the certificates, and normally these can only be sent by mail so allow time for delivery.

On a first application, you will also need to have a countersignatory confirm the applicant’s identity.

They need to confirm that, to the best of their knowledge, the details you have given in your application are correct, and they must also confirm that the photo is of the applicant – it’s possible to do this this online, you provide their details and they will receive an email from the passport office.

For child applications (aged under 16) it is also to confirm that they have known, for at least 2 years, the adult who signed the declaration in section 9 of the application form. They must also confirm that the person has parental responsibility for the child and confirm the child’s photo is a true likeness.

The countersignatory must:

  • have known you personally for at least two years – they can be a friend, neighbour or colleague but not a relation by birth or marriage
  • be a ‘professional person’ or a person of ‘good standing in their community’ – you can find a list of the accepted professions here (journalists and MPs are decreed to be sufficiently respectable professions – go figure)
  • live in the UK;
  • hold a current British or Irish passport.

Once you have made the application, you will receive the passport through the mail. Waiting times are usually around the same as renewing an adult UK passport.

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