1. You would never call a Swede at 3pm on Christmas Eve.

Because Donald Duck.

2. You’ve tried eating the meatballs before the pickled herring.

And it made you the least popular person at the julbord.

3. Pickled herring in general.

Just saying.

4. You know which Julkalender is the best one.

Even though you’ve never actually seen it.

5. You would never say påskmust is the same as julmust.

You learned this the hard way.

6. You even have a favourite brand of julmust.

And it’s probably the one your Swedish partner has told you to like.

7. You have these in every window.

From the First Sunday of Advent to Tjugondag Knut.

8. You know what Tjugondag Knut is.

And struggle to explain it to non-Swedish friends.

9. You know the lyrics to Hej Tomtegubbar.

Because you were forced to learn this Christmas drinking song and now you can’t get it out of your head even if you sing Feliz Navidad ten times in a row.

10. You know that Jultomten eats rice porridge and not milk and cookies.

You also know the difference between the Jultomte (Santa Claus) and the Swedish tomte (a very short and angry man who looks after your house).

11. You are able to instantly fake joy the second you unwrap your Christmas presents.

Because in Sweden everyone opens their presents one by one as the rest of the family looks on (julklappsutdelning), so you don’t even have a chance to let your disappointment settle before you are put in the spotlight.

12. You know the answer to the question “Finns det några snälla barn…?”

You say yes, but think no.