SHARE
COPY LINK

LEARNING

10 ways learning German completely ruins your English

So you've mastered German, but now it's time to learn English all over again.

10 ways learning German completely ruins your English
Incorrect to speak like this it is. Photo: DPA.

1. Giving you a Yoda-like sentence structure

In German the main verb often goes at the end of the sentence. There isn't enough time in the world to explain German grammatical rules but chances are, German has started messing up the grammar of your English sentences too.

You might have started subconsciously back loading sentences with verbs and greedily withholding them until right at the end of your point. Before you know it, you sound like Yoda.

2. Saying 'or'?

The river Oder in Germany. Photo: Dellex / Wikimedia Commons.

Putting “oder” (or) at the end of a sentence is common throughout Germany. It's a way of asking whether the other person agrees with you. The best English equivalent would be “right?”, so “Trump is all just a bad dream, right?” or “Trump ist nur ein Albtraum, oder?”. 

But if you've been speaking a lot of German recently, you might notice the literal translation of oder creeping into your English.

Don't blame your colleagues for their bemused expressions when you walk into the office and shake the rain off your umbrella, only to exclaim, “Terrible weather, or?”

3. Mixing up your ei's and ie's

Photo: DPA.

You may be staring at a word document, wondering why the spellcheck has decided to highlight the words 'recieve' and 'decieve', which you're sure are spelt right. In fact, you haven't gone insane. You've just been focusing too hard on German pronunciation.

The way that the 'ei' in English words like receive and deceive sounds, is the same as the 'ie' sounds in German. You've been writing out an English word in phonetic German and that's why English spellcheck doesn't like you. All very complicated.

4. Getting your numbers the wrong way round

Numbers can be hard, just look at this Mental Arithmetic World Championship contestant. Photo: DPA.

Asking your local greengrocer for “five and twenty” potatoes may get you an odd stare, but this could happen if you spend a little too much time learning your German times tables.

In German, once you get past ten, the rightmost digit comes before the first. Twenty-one in English is one and twenty in German. This may sound odd to English speakers, but it is common in other languages, such as Arabic.

The only time you're likely to use the German numbering system is if you're reading an old nursery rhyme to your children, for example Sing a Song of Sixpence's “four and twenty blackbirds” baked into a pie.

5. Conflating your V's and F's

A fampire. Photo: DPA

A while back you learnt the golden rule of German pronunciation. You can forget your previous notions of what a W was meant to sound like. W now sounds like the English V sound, and the German V sounds like the English F.

Lately, you're holding onto that rule so hard that it's starting to infect your English speech. Before you know it, you're asking where the facuum cleaner is, your children are telling you what they learnt about the fikings at school today and you're dressing up as a fampire for Halloween.

6. Na?

Did these German Hells Angels greet each other with a 'Na'?. Photo: DPA.

You bump into an old friend you didn't expect to see at a party and in a moment of excitement, keen to know how they've been, you blurt out the German “Na?”

“Na?” is a shorter, more all encompassing way of asking what's going on with someone. The best English translation might be “what's up?”.

For example, a slightly more antagonistic use of the phrase would be if a German Nicki Minaj had asked Miley Cyrus “Miley, na?” at the 2015 VMA's, rather than “Miley, what's good?”

The shorter, catchier nature of “Na?” means it's always easy to slip back into German and use this monosyllabic word when you're interested in how your friends are doing.

7. J's and Y's

The actress known to Germans as Yulia Roberts. Photo: DPA.

This is yet another problem with pronunciation. The German J is pronounced the same way as the English Y. Perhaps it took you a while to realize that the Julia you met in Germany doesn't have quite so exotic a name as you imagined, and actually spells her name the same way as the Julia you know from home (not Yulia).

So when you ring up someone in the English-speaking world whose name begins with a J, and German is playing with your English skills that day, they may not recognize the person you're after.

8. Asking for fire

Photo: DPA.

Stepping out into the cold English winter night for a cigarette, you ask someone if they have fire. They look at you oddly because they have neither wood, nor kindling. Then you realize that German is once again messing with your mother tongue. What you're actually looking for is a lighter.

When needing a lighter, a German would ask “Haben Sie Feuer”, literally translating as “Have you got fire?”

Chances are, if you're a chain smoker learning German who also forgets their lighter a lot, you've been asking after fire so much it's crept into your English too. Don't worry, Germans learning English are also struggling to light their cigarettes.

9. Everything is suddenly 'super'

Friedrich Liechtenstein, of Edeka Supergeil fame. Photo: DPA. 

Germans are inclined to use the word super before anything that they think needs enhancing. For example if something is very cool it is super Geil, as witnessed in a viral advert for the supermarket Edeka. Once you've heard super used in conversation for the nth time, it might start sneaking into your English speech.

You might have had a super good time at that party last weekend, the chest of drawers you had to move might have been super heavy, or you could be super stressed about your upcoming German test – all contributing to you starting to sound like a lame American teenager.

10. Using German words when English escapes you

Photo: DPA.

“Could you pass me the… urm… Gabel and Messer… please?”

When you're back in the English-speaking world and for some reason you can't quite remember the name of what you're after (fork and knife), you might have to resort to German. This can also be a symptom of another issue: pretentiousness.

This happens when a German-learner likes the sound of a long German word they've just learnt so much that they slip it into conversation without feeling the need to translate it – because it has das gewisse Etwas, that je ne sais quoi, that certain something. Academics are particularly at risk of this.

By Charley-Kai John
 

For all The Local's guides to learning German CLICK HERE

 

Member comments

Log in here to leave a comment.
Become a Member to leave a comment.

LEARNING GERMAN

‘Forget about bilingual Kitas’: Key tips for raising bilingual kids in Germany

With greater numbers of international workers choosing to settle in Germany and raise a family, the question of how to best raise bilingual children is often considered. 

'Forget about bilingual Kitas': Key tips for raising bilingual kids in Germany

The Local asked its readers who have raised bilingual children in Germany to tell us how they managed to raise children who speak German in addition to their parent’s mother tongue. 

Trust the (school) system. 

One piece of advice was echoed by several readers: Trust the German education system to take care of teaching German through immersion. 

Siniša, 44, from Hesse, who speaks Croatian and English at home, told The Local: “Speak your native language at home. The school will ‘cover’ German and other languages.”

Steve, 55, who lives in Munich and speaks English and Spanish with his daughter agrees.

“Be consistent and raise your child in your native tongue. At a local school, they will learn German quickly,” he said.

Chris, 44, from Hamburg, who speaks English with his children, backed the idea of leaving kids’ schools to take charge of teaching them German.

“Get the kids into the German education system as early as possible and let them learn themselves from native speakers. As a bonus, they’ll pick it up quickly and not pick up a ‘non-German’ accent either,” he said.

Read more: ‘Multilingualism is an enrichment’ – The challenges of raisin bilingual kids in Germany

Readers also noted that even in the preschool stage, children can handle multiple languages. 

Julie, 41, who lives in Hamburg and speaks English and Italian at home, said: “Relax and go with the flow. Don’t get hung up on finding bilingual Kitas for toddlers if they already get significant exposure to the non-German language at home. Languages seem to develop in different spurts at different speeds.”

However, liaising with schools in Germany was noted as an essential skill. 

Kim, 46, based in Sindelfingen, with a family speaking both English and German, said: “It’s essential for at least one parent to understand German when children attend a German school. They can help explain language and cultural differences. They can also help with administrative matters and even homework.”

Maintain the mother tongue.

While readers were keen to encourage parents to trust the immersion process that German schools provide, they were also quick to advise a concerted effort to maintain speaking the mother tongue in and around the home. 

“For international parents, I think it’s very important that their children do not lose touch with their mother tongue, as it is a very special part of their identity,” said Prashanth, 42, who lives in Munich.

Anne-Marie, 52, from Frankfurt, who speaks ‘Singlish’ (Singaporean English) with her children, stated that it’s essential to be firm.

“Speak in your mother tongue to your kids from the day they are born. Be consequent about it, even in front of other people who do not speak your mother tongue,” she said.

Karl, 44, who lives in Celle and who speaks English and the indigenous American Ute language with his children, said getting family on board is important. 

“Communicate with all family members your decision, intentionally speak all of the languages, when possible provide translations so family members present are not excluded from conversations,” he said.

Charles, 40, from Berlin, even stated that speaking German at home may prove detrimental: “Don’t speak your own mediocre German with them. It may be hard to see them speaking another language as their more comfortable primary language than your own.”

Charles, who speaks English at home, added: “Find books and shows to share with them in your native language to continue the shared experience.”

Read More: What foreign parents should know about German schools

Just let it happen with the kids…

Sometimes, it seems, becoming bilingual takes care of itself. 

Paul, 40, from Munich, married to a German, said: “Our oldest just started speaking English one day around age 3. She had heard so much she could understand and just started talking. 

“The twins are starting to speak more and more English. It wasn’t a problem since she was fluent in both by age 4. I advise patience and not expecting perfection at a young age.

Crystal, 38, who lives in Nuremberg and speaks English at home, responded: “At first, my main concern was getting as much German into our lives as possible so my son would be ready for Grundschule. 

“Now I’m swinging the other way. My advice is to try to relax. There are always other things to worry about, and kids learn so much really quickly.”

…but also challenge yourself

Finally, respondents to The Locals’ survey repeated that raising bilingual children is something that requires a degree of effort – on the parent’s behalf. 

J.K, 40, who lives in Hanau and speaks English and Telugu at home, told The Local: “Language is very important for the kids to grow in a culture. 

“Parents should facilitate situations around the kid to better integrate locally. Parents (at least one) should be able to speak German at a level better than B1. 

“If not, supporting kids in their education is difficult, and this will hamper their chances of reaching a higher education level.”

Read More: Six surprising facts about Germany’s school system

Moreno, 40, who lives in Munich and speaks Portuguese with his children, was firm in his advice: “Don’t choose the easy way for you, parents. Don’t hide in your language community bubble. 

“If you intend to live in Germany for a long time, put your kids in German schools and get them in touch with the German community.

“If you don’t speak German like me, deal with it. But don’t transfer your problem to your kids.”

Have we missed any crucial advice for raising bilingual children in Germany? Tell us in the comments section below.

SHOW COMMENTS