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NORWAY EXPLAINED

Five Norwegian passive-aggressive habits and how to handle them

While Norwegian traits of indirect communication and politeness generally make for pleasant social interactions, they can also give rise to passive-aggressive behaviour.

Published: 12 December 2023 11:53 CET
Updated: 17 December 2023 08:05 CET
Pictured is a man sat on a bench at a mountain viewpoint overlooking Tromsø.
Typically, if you respond promptly and genuinely, most folks in Norway will react positively, act in good faith, and drop the passive-aggressive vibes. Pictured is a man sat on a bench in Tomrø.Photo by Daniel Vogel on Unsplash

Contrary to the descriptions you might stumble upon in blogs focusing on life for international citizens who moved to the country or catch on National Geographic, life in Norway isn’t a constant pursuit of luxurious living standards while chasing the Northern Lights.

In a culture as polite and indirect as Norway’s, passive-aggressive habits are, unfortunately, woven into the fabric of everyday life.

Many Norwegians tend to prefer these subtle manoeuvres over engaging in direct conflict, whether it’s dealing with neighbours, co-workers, or the education system.

Keep in mind that communication is the key to resolving passive-aggressive issues. And fret not; with enough patience and a firm grasp of these habits, you’ll be able to detect them and seamlessly handle such situations.

Announcing small issues to a larger group or authority figure

One of the more widespread Norwegian passive-aggressive habits is announcing minor issues to a large group or someone above you (for example, a neighbour complaining about the noise coming from your flat to your landlord or posting it on a public homeowners’ forum) instead of addressing you directly.

This behaviour is often caused by a desire to avoid direct interpersonal conflict.

Whether it happens in kindergartens (a kindergarten staff member might bring up at a meeting that there have been ongoing challenges with certain children), schools, or workplaces (a colleague approaching your boss at a company meeting over an issue related to you instead of addressing it directly), it can be disconcerting to those unfamiliar with this approach.

The key to handling it is to stay composed – and not take it personally.

Do: Talk privately and calmly with the person about the issue after the “public announcement.” This can help build a better relationship, making them more comfortable approaching you directly in the future if they have any concerns.

Don’t: Get into a heated confrontation in front of everyone, as it could make things worse. This is especially true if you let your emotions take over.

The use of “we”

Norwegians use the word vi, meaning “we,” in their interactions quite a lot. To outsiders, it can come across as chilling, especially when employed in a passive-aggressive manner.

The use of “we” lets Norwegians present a complaint as if it’s about shared norms instead of a straightforward confrontation.

An example could be Vi rydder opp etter oss etter bruk av kjøkkenet på arbeidsplassen (“We clean up after ourselves after using the kitchen at our workplace”) or Vi kaster ikke søppel i andres søppeldunker i Norge (“We don’t throw trash into other people’s bins in Norway.”)

If you find yourself on the receiving end of such a statement, try acknowledging it without taking it personally.

Do: Recognise common expectations and show your readiness to align with them moving forward.

Don’t: Take “we” statements as personal criticisms or invitations to argue about your actions.

The silent treatment

After unintentionally stepping over a social norm, it’s not uncommon to receive silent treatment from a fellow neighbour or colleague in Norway.

For instance, skipping the regular dugnad events in a housing block, or having a loud party without prior warning, you might earn weeks of disapproving silence from your neighbours.

In such situations, it’s essential to be aware of cultural norms and customs. Apologising for unintentional transgressions, and adapting your behaviour can help restore relationships and prevent further passive-aggressive behaviour.

Do: Pay attention to cultural norms and traditions, apologise if you unintentionally cross any lines, and adjust your actions accordingly.

Don’t: Brush off the silent treatment or underestimate its significance, as it could strain your relationships in your local community.

Passive-aggressive words

Norwegians have words in their language, such as overraskende (surprising) and uvanlig (unusual), that they might use to convey passive-aggressive messages.

Examples include: Jeg ble overrasket over at du bestemte deg for å la døren til fellesvaskeriet stå åpen. (“I was surprised that you decided to leave the door to the joint laundry room open.”) or Det var overraskende at du ikke ble med på dugnad i forrige uke. (“It was surprising that you didn’t join the neighbourhood voluntary work initiative last week.”)

READ MORE: Norwegian expression of the day: Dugnad

If you encounter these words in conversation, it’s crucial to recognise that they can have a passive-aggressive undertone.

Do: Recognise passive-aggressive words and respond with an open mind and a willingness to understand the other person’s perspective.

Don’t: Counter with more passive-aggression or disregard their words.

Mowing your lawn or trimming your hedges

A unique passive-aggressive habit in Norway involves neighbours mowing your lawn or trimming your hedges if they feel you haven’t done it often enough by their standards.

You might be slightly shocked to see a neighbour taking such measures to express their discontent the first time it happens.

Don’t overreact.

READ MORE: How to deal with noisy neighbours in Norway

Do: Have a chat with your neighbours, get a sense of what they expect, and try to reach a middle ground that suits everyone.

Don’t: Verbally attack them or disregard their concerns.

The key “do” is to approach these situations with patience and open communication.

Steer clear of responding aggressively, as that only makes conflicts worse, and don’t brush off passive-aggressive actions, as they can strain relationships.

Typically, if you respond promptly and genuinely, most folks in Norway will react positively, act in good faith, and drop the passive-aggressive vibes.

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NORWAY EXPLAINED

The things you won’t see in Norway that are common elsewhere

When you move to (or visit) a new country, you almost inevitably encounter a bit of culture shock - or, at the very least, some surprising social norms and experiences.

Published: 22 April 2024 15:50 CEST
The things you won't see in Norway that are common elsewhere

Moving to Norway – or just visiting it as a tourist – offers no shortage of incredible sights and experiences that you’ll struggle to find anywhere else.

However, among these features lie several elements of European urban life that are conspicuously absent from life in Norway, drawing curious glances from visitors accustomed to their presence elsewhere.

With that in mind, The Local has compiled a list of things you might find noticeably – and somewhat oddly – missing from day-to-day life in Norway.

A (mostly) cashless society

In a world where cash is king, many newcomers to Norway remain baffled by the apparent absence of cash in everyday transactions.

In most Norwegian cities, it’s not uncommon for people to see entire months pass without a single physical coin or banknote changing hands.

Instead, most people use electronic payment methods such as the widespread Vipps e-payment app, mobile payments, and contactless cards, effectively rendering cash obsolete in many scenarios.

Ordering takeout? There’s Vipps.

Going shopping? You pay via card.

Paying the mortgage rate? Online banking.

Donating at church? Vipps again.

As Håkon Fyhn, an associate professor at NTNU who researches robotisation, digitisation, and automation, told The Local in a recent interview, Norwegian society is characterised by a high level of trust in government and banks, so people don’t use cash because they trust digital money.

EXPLAINED: The pros and cons of Norway going cashless

“The short answer is that for most people in Norway, there are now digital alternatives that are more convenient to use and readily available – notably credit cards (on plastic or phone) and Vipps (a Norwegian phone-based money transfer service) for small and medium exchanges,” he said.

Homeless people in Norway

Wandering the streets of most of Norway’s cities, you’ll likely notice the absence of a demographic that tends to be, unfortunately, quite present in urban landscapes in Europe – homeless people.

Homelessness has significantly declined in Norway since 2012, with numbers halving, according to recent data.

This reduction can be attributed to a concerted strategy that emphasises the development of housing and support services, alongside the cultivation of expertise in addressing homelessness, as reported in a 2022 article by Husbanken Norway.

Efforts have been particularly targeted at vulnerable groups within the housing market, with a specific focus on families with children and people grappling with substance abuse and mental health issues.

According to a national survey on homelessness in Norway conducted in 2020, the total number of homeless people was 3,325.

Considering the country’s population of approximately 5,400,000 inhabitants, this is a rate of 0.62 homeless persons per 1,000 inhabitants, which is considered relatively low.

No piles of trash on the street (for the most part)

While bustling tourist hubs – such as the Lofoten Islands in the north of Norway or the Trolltunga rock formation in Vestland Country – can become full of trash in peak tourism season, generally speaking, Norway’s streets tend to be very clean compared to some other European countries.

With a deeply ingrained culture of personal responsibility for waste management, many Norwegians maintain their urban environments to a very high standard, making ugly piles of trash a rare sight.

READ MORE: What you need to know about rubbish and recycling in Norway

The widespread adage is to leave every place cleaner than how you found it. Therefore, don’t be surprised when you see picking up others’ litter in the woods, on hikes, or on walks through their neighbourhoods.

That being said, there is a very intense debate on the over-tourism of Norway’s top attractions – and the negative impacts of this phenomenon – going on in the country at the moment. The Local has covered this issue in more detail in this article.

Few skyscrapers

Norway’s skyline starkly contrasts the towering cityscapes synonymous with many other Western countries.

Even in Oslo, the country’s capital, strict building limits curtail the construction of skyscrapers. Instead, the cityscape is usually dominated by low to mid-rise buildings.

The situation is more or less the same in other major Norwegian cities, such as Bergen, Stavanger, and Trondheim.

Furthermore, as Norway is spread across vast stretches of land, its population is thinly scattered across the expansive terrain.

Therefore, historically, the necessity for towering skyscrapers to make use of urban real estate hasn’t been pressing, given the abundance of space available (outside major urban centres).

READ MORE: Property prices in Norway to surge over the next few years

Factors such as population pressure, limited supply, and growing demand in the real estate market in the country’s major cities are raising questions about whether this should continue.

Where are the curtains?

Another curious absence that might go unnoticed until pointed out is the absence of curtains on the windows of Norwegian homes.

Unlike in many other countries, where curtains are a common decoration for privacy, Norway’s residents often forego this conventional window dressing, preferring unrestricted views of the surrounding landscapes and prioritising more natural light during the day.

Interestingly, the prevalence of curtains varies across different districts and neighbourhoods, with areas with higher populations of international residents at times featuring a higher concentration of curtain-clad windows.

This may stem from a desire to cater to the preferences of those accustomed to the conventional use of curtains for privacy.

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