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LEARNING SPANISH

How to refer to all the family members in Spanish

Family is very important is Spanish culture, so it's a good idea to learn early on who everyone is and how to refer to them. From the easier ones like 'hermano' to the harder ones like 'suegra', here are all the terms you need to know.

Published: 2 March 2023 15:32 CET
How to refer to all the family members in Spanish
Do you know your 'cuñados' from your 'yernos' in Spanish family talk? (Photo by CRISTINA QUICLER / AFP)

If you have Spanish friends or family, you’ll soon realise that large family gatherings are an important part of life in Spain, particularly during big holidays.

To help you remember how to refer to everyone or to know who everyone is talking about, we’ve put together a little guide to family members in Spanish. 

As we move away from the immediate family, it gets slightly more complicated, but let’s start with the easy ones.  

Madre is of course the word for mother, but Spanish children often use other words too including mamá, mami and ma. To use it in a sentence for example you might say ‘Mi mamá es la mejor’ (my mum is the best).

Padre is the Spanish for father and is often also called other words such as papá, papi and pa. Remember to put the accent on the end of papá otherwise you’ll be writing el Papa, meaning the Pope or la papa, meaning the potato. Example: ‘A mi papá le gusta el helado’ (my dad likes ice cream).

To refer to both parents at once, you would say padres.  

Esposo/a – Husband or wife. For husband, you can also say marido, but you shouldn’t refer to your wife as a ‘marida’. She would be your mujer or esposa instead.
Example: ‘Este es mi esposo’ (This is my husband).  

Pareja – Partner. Not everyone in Spain gets married of course, so to describe your partner you just use pareja, regardless of whether it’s a man or a woman. To say boyfriend or girlfriend, you say novio/a. Example: Mi pareja tiene un viaje de negocios. My partner has a business trip.

READ ALSO: Ten Spanish mistakes even Spaniards make

Hermano/a – Brother or sister depending on if it ends in the masculine ‘o’ or the feminine ‘a’. Remember that for almost all the terms below, if you use the masculine plural version such as hermanos, it will refer to both your male and female relatives. Example: ‘Mi hermana es mayor que yo’ (My sister is older than me).  

Hijo/hija – Son or daughter, again depending on what ending you use. You may also hear mijo or mija used by Spanish mothers, which is a shortened version of mi hijo or mi hija. Example: ‘A su hijo le gusta leer’ (His son likes to read).

Abuelo/a – Grandpa or grandma. You may also use the diminutive terms abuelito or abuelita, or the shortened version abu. Different regions and different families may often also use other terms, such as yaya for granny or nanna or yayo for poppa. Example: ‘Mis abuelos viven en Francia’ (my grandparents live in France).

Tío/a – Uncle or aunt. Be careful with this one though as you’ll often hear people referring to each other as tío or tía in everyday speech when the person they’re talking to is not even a relation of theirs. It’s just a colloquial slang term to use when talking to friends. A colloquial way of referring to your aunt or uncle in Spanish is also tita or tito, as well as los titos to refer to the two of them or other uncles and aunts. Example: ‘Mi tía es escritora’ (my aunt is a writer)

Primo/a – Cousin. If you are referring to your cousins in general you can use primos. A first cousin is a primo carnal or primo/a hermano/a, whereas a second cousin is a primo/a segundo/a. It can sometimes be used as slang to refer to a friend, in the same vein as tío/a. Example: ‘Mis primos tienen una casa grande’ (my cousins have a big house).  

Sobrino/a – nephew or niece. Again for both of them, you can use the masculine sobrinos. You can also shorten it to sobri, applicable to either both sexes.
Example: ‘Tengo 7 sobrinos’ (I have 7 nephews and nieces).

READ ALSO – Monkeys and good uncles: The many ways to call someone hot in Spanish

Nieto/a – Grandson or granddaughter. A great-grandson or great-granddaughter is bisnieto or bisnieta. Example: ‘Su nieta es una famosa bailarina’ (Her granddaughter is a famous ballerina). 

Bisabuelo/a – Great-grandfather or great-grandmother.
Example: ‘Mi bisabuela cumplirá 100 años el próximo año’ (My great-grandmother will turn 100 next year).

Tatarabuelo/a – Great-great grandfather or grandmother. If you want to go further back you keep on adding more tatatas to refer to great-great-great grandparents. Example: ‘Mi tatarabuelo viajó a España desde Chile’ (my great-great grandfather travelled to Spain from Chile). 

Suegro/a – Father or mother-in-law. Example: ‘Mi suegra hizo el pastel para nuestra boda’ (My mother-in-law made the cake for our wedding).

Cuñado/a – Brother or sister in law. Example: ‘A mi cuñado le gusta ir de pesca’ (My brother-in-law likes to go fishing).

Familia política – In-laws. It may seem bizarre to refer to your in-laws as your ‘political family’, but that’s how it is in Spain. Example: Estas navidades me toca cena con mi familia política. This Christmas I’m having dinner with my in-laws.

Yerno – Son-in-law. Example – Mi yerno es un juerguista (My son-in-law is a party animal).

Nuera – Daughter-in-law. Unlike the other names above where you exchange an ‘o’ or an ‘a’ for masculine or feminine, for son or daughter-in-law, there are separate words completely.
Example: ‘Mi nuera es de Argentina’ (my daughter-in-law is from Argentina).

Padastro/a – Stepfather. Example – ‘Mi padrastro tiene 55 años’ (my stepfather is 55 years old).

Madastro/a – Stepmother. Example: ‘Mi madrastra no es como las madrastras de los cuentos de hadas’ (my stepmother is not like the stepmothers in fairytales).

Hijastro/a – Stepson or stepdaughter Example: ‘Su hijastro se va a Jamaica’ (Her stepson is going to Jamaica).

Hermanastro/a – Stepbrother or stepsister Example: ‘Su hermanastra es la hija de su madrastra’ (His stepsister is the daughter of his stepmother).

Madrina – Godmother. Example: ‘Ella era la madrina del bebé’ (She was the baby’s godmother).

Padrino – Godfather Example – ‘Mi padrino solía comprarme dulces’ (My godfather used to buy me sweets).

Ahijado/a – Godson or Goddaughter. Example: ‘Aquí hay una foto de mi ahijado’ (Here is a photo of my godson).

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For members

LEARNING SPANISH

Do people in Spain actually use the formal ‘usted’ form anymore?

It was once common in Spain, but nowadays the formal 'usted' (you) form is rarely used besides in some pretty specific situations. So why is the more informal 'tú' form becoming ever more dominant among Spaniards?

Published: 14 May 2024 11:12 CEST
Updated: 14 May 2024 12:58 CEST
Do people in Spain actually use the formal 'usted' form anymore?

If you live in Spain or spend time here, you’ve probably heard the word tú (you) a fair bit. It’s one of the very first words you learn when learning Spanish, and pretty crucial (obviously).

But you may have also occasionally heard Spanish speakers using the word usted (also meaning you) from time to time too.

It’s far more likely that you hear tú in Spain, but perhaps if you’ve heard a respectful younger Spaniard talking to an elderly neighbour, or their boss on the phone, or even watched something like a political debate or interview on TV, you probably heard usted used.

Similarly, if you have noticed usted being used while out and about in Spain, it could well have been from the large Latino population in Spain, and it’s likely that you heard Colombians, Venezuelans or other Latinos saying it.

READ ALSO: Why Spain has allowed regional languages to be spoken in Congress

Though they do sometimes use it, the use of usted among Spaniards is slightly different, much rarer, and saved for select circumstances.

In fact, it’s becoming so rare in Spain that some feel its usage is dying out completely, if it hasn’t already.

So, what’s going on here?

Usted vs tú

Firstly, let’s start with a definition. According to the Real Academia Española (RAE) usted is a:

“Form which, in the nominative, in the vocative or preceded by a preposition, designates the person addressed by the speaker or writer… [used] generally as a polite, respectful or distancing address.”

Eg) disculpe, ¿sabe usted dónde está el hospital? (excuse me, do you know where the hospital is?)

In understanding the usted form specifically in Castilian Spanish – Spanish spoken in parts of Latin America it can be slightly or very different, depending where you are – that last part of the definition is key: “generally as a polite, respectful or distancing address.”

It’s worth noting that with usted the verbs are conjugated as if they were third-person singular (el as in he or ella as in she), so it’s usted sabe instead of tú sabes. 

Usted is a form used to show respect or seniority: that you understand there’s a hierarchy (in which usted is at the top, so for example when speaking to your boss or someone interviewing you for a job), but also occasionally to mark social distance between two people (because tú could be considered overly friendly in certain situations) and then, finally, it’s also used more generally to show respect in terms of seniority, like when speaking to an elderly person.

Tú vs usted in Spain

Respectfulness is the key word here. In short, if you hear usted used in Spain, it’s probably for a reason.

In Spain, usted is generally only ever used with authority figures, the elderly and in some formal and/or professional settings, but many Spaniards will just skip over it and use the tú form. Tú can be used with everyone else: your friends, partners, neighbours (around your age or younger), siblings, co-workers, kids, and other people you don’t know but are roughly your age or younger.

In fact, in some cases people might actually be offended if you use the usted form because you could be implying that they’re old, a mistake or social faux pas that is somewhat similar to calling a woman señora and then being quickly corrected (usually with a scornful look) that is should be señorita.

In such cases, they may say trátame de tú (treat me as ‘less formal’ you) or me puedes tutear. 

The verb tutear actually means to speak to someone using the more informal tú form. 

The only part of Spain where the plural form of usted – ustedes – is used all the time is the Canary Islands and some parts of southern Andalusia, where locals prefer this form instead of the standard Castillian vosotros (you in plural). That doesn’t mean that they say usted instead of tú in the singular form, this exception only applies to the plural.

Do people actually use the formal usted form anymore in Spain?

Less and less. It’s dying out in Spain, has been for a while, and is now reserved for those rare occasions outlined above. It’s thought by linguistic experts that it began dying out in the 1970s and 1980s.

The use of usted in Castillian Spanish is now very rarely used in casual conversation. In many cases can only be heard in very formal or ceremonial settings, such as in judiciary, the army, or in certain academic culture contexts or events.

In day to day life, usted only really shows up (besides the examples given above) in advertising, something that generally needs to reflect cultural attitudes and keep up with modern day parlance, so now only really uses the usted form in some specific campaigns for financial services or medical products. As such, depending on the context and age of the people involved, you could also hear usted in spoken Spanish in banks and doctors or hospitals.

An article in Spanish newspaper La Vanguardia entitled ‘Usted is dying’ published back in 2012 looked into the disappearance of the formal form in detail. The fact it was published over a decade ago means that, if anything, the trends it discusses have deepened since then and usted is even lesser used than it was then.

“The use of usted has been reserved for very formal campaigns where a kind of protocol respect for the interlocutor is maintained,” Josep Maria Ferrara, founder and creative director of the Paulov advertising agency, told La Vanguardia.

But this was not the case twenty or thirty years ago. A study on the use of tú and usted in advertising at the end of the 1980s showed that the usted form was used for the most part and that only 11 percent of the advertisements analysed used the tú form.

Changing world, changing language?

So, what changed? Secundino Valladares, professor of Anthropology at the Madrid’s Complutense University, says that Spaniards have embraced tú to such an extent “that the phenomenon is now unstoppable; young people, educated in ‘tuteo’ [the use of the tú form] are sweeping to victory with the tú, and as society is dominated by the value of youth… many older people feel flattered if you tú them,” he said.

In Spain in the 1940s and 1950s the usted form was still well established in many parent-child relationships, and in teacher-student relationships until well into the 1970s. But a changing world and progressive, more egalitarian political ideas seems to be partly responsible for the change. Of course, in Spain, this linguistic shift may have something to do with the changing power and interpersonal dynamics of Spanish society as it transitioned from dictatorship to democracy around this time.

Headline by Spanish radio station Cope reads “Speaking to the teacher at school with the usted form must be brought back”.

Sociologist Antonio López pointed to this trend: “The tendency towards a more egalitarian society, towards the loss of hierarchical distances in social relations, means that it does not seem right to establish prior distances and that is why tú is used instead of usted, which for many denotes distance.”

In that sense, the decline in the formal usted form can be understood both in terms of the laid back nature of Castilian Spanish compared with countries in Latin America, but also in terms of language reflecting social change, similarly to how today, in modern day Spain, there is debate over the use of inclusive language and the dominance of the masculine form in Spanish grammar.

READ ALSO: What is Spain’s inclusive language debate and why is it so controversial?

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