Read news from:
Austria
SHARE
COPY LINK
For members

GERMAN LANGUAGE

5 of the most cringeworthy mistakes I’ve made in German

Learning German can sometimes be a process of trial and error. Sarah Magill talks about 5 of the most embarrassing language mistakes she's made along the way.

Published: 10 October 2022 16:22 CEST
Updated: 4 September 2023 16:09 CEST
A woman sits outside her front door having locked herself out of her home.
A woman sits outside her front door having locked herself out of her home. Photo: pa/obs DVAG Deutsche Vermögensberatung AG | DVAG Deutsche Vermögensberatung

Having lived in Germany now for eight years, I like to think that my German – though far from perfect –  is now at a pretty good level. But when I look back at my language-learning journey over the past few years, I shake my head in shame when I think of some of the silly mistakes I’ve made. Here are some of the ones which still make me cringe.

1. Sie haben mich gespeichert

A few years ago, when I was renting a room in a flat in the Wedding district of Berlin, I managed to lock myself out of my flat on a weekend when my flatmate was away.

READ ALSO: EXPLAINED: How to pick the right German language school for you

With no spare key, I had to call the Schlüsseldienst (locksmith) to get me back inside. I was delighted when a serviceman arrived in less than an hour, easily unpicked the lock and charged me less than a hundred euros for the service.

Wanting to express my gratitude, I told him Sie haben mich gespeichert, thinking this meant “you have saved me”.

His confused expression said otherwise, however, and after he’d left, a check online made me realise what I’d in fact said was – “you have stored me”. I knew the verb speichern from saving files on my computer at work, and mistakenly thought it meant “to save” as in “to rescue” too.  

What I should have said was Sie haben mich gerettet – retten being the verb for “to rescue”. Needless to say I’ve not made that mistake since. 

2. Ich bin echt krank

Around the same time period, I found myself feeling under the weather one day when I was due on a shift at work.

Unable to face a phone call in German, I constructed what I thought was a foolproof Krankmeldung (notice of being sick) via SMS and texted the shift manager, starting with the phrase Ich bin echt krank.

A sick woman in bed sends a message on her phone. Photo: picture alliance/dpa/dpa-tmn | Christin Klose

A confusing reply from my then-manager, along the lines of “I didn’t doubt that you were sick” prompted me to run my message by a German friend. 

They laughed a lot and told me that, instead of saying “I am really sick”, I had said that “I am actually sick”, suggesting that I thought my manager didn’t believe me. 

What I should have said, was Ich bin sehr krank – “I am very sick”, although that also sounds a little clumsy. Nowadays, I would say something like Mir geht’s gar nicht gut (I’m not feeling well at all).

3. Ich bin entspannt!

This is a mistake I’ve made more recently, but hopefully won’t again. 

READ ALSO: 10 German words that English should adopt

At the end of a Zoom call with colleagues discussing an upcoming project, I signed off by telling them Ich bin entspannt! The polite chuckles that followed made me realise afterwards that I’d chosen the wrong word. 

Instead of saying “I’m excited” (ich bin gespannt) I’d said “I’m relaxed”. Though not too bad in the scheme of things, it wasn’t exactly the message I’d wanted to communicate.

4. Ich bin besorgt, danke

I have to admit that I’ve made this mistake more than once and felt no less stupid each time. 

On a couple of occasions, I’ve been in a restaurant or a cafe, and when the waiter has asked me if everything is ok, I’ve said Ich bin besorgt, danke, which means “I’m worried, thank you”. 

A waiter serves water to a table of diners. Photo: picture alliance/dpa/Informationszentrale Deutsches Mineralwasser | Informationszentrale Deutsches M
 
What I should have said, of course, was Ich bin versorgt which means literally “I am supplied” and is a way of saying “I have everything I need”. 

5. Ich habe einen Freund auf der Straße gebumst

Last by no means least is this outrageous clanger I dropped once to my German tandem partner back at the beginning of my German-language learning journey. 

READ ALSO: ‘6 German words I now use in English’

Wanting to excuse myself for being late by explaining that I had bumped into a friend on the street, I apologised and told her Ich habe einen Freund auf der Straße gebumst. 

When her uproarious laughter subsided, she politely explained to me that I had just told her “I had sex with a friend in the street”, using the very rude German verb bumsen. What I should have said, was Ich habe einen Freund auf der Straße zufällig getroffen (“I met a friend by chance on the street.”)

I’m happy to say that that is one mistake I have never repeated. 

Member comments

  1. Someone snatched my phone right off my hands at the Hauptbanhof in Berlin, and my brain was trying to remember the word for ‘thief’ in German, and in the heat of the moment I guess my thought process was: “bad person – usually German is similar to English – the word has a ‘t’ and an ‘f’ in it” and out my mouth the word ‘TEUFEL!!!!’ came out. A few seconds later I realized I had just shouted “DEVIL!!!!” in the middle of a busy train station and I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.

Log in here to leave a comment.
Become a Member to leave a comment.
For members

GERMAN LANGUAGE

‘Umpf’: Six noises to help you sound like a German

You may think fancy vocab is the only way to impress your friends in German, but these quirky noises could actually be the key to sounding like a local.

Published: 24 April 2024 17:23 CEST
Updated: 28 April 2024 08:39 CEST
'Umpf': Six noises to help you sound like a German

For most German-language learners, it’s a familiar scenario: you kick off your language journey with textbooks and courses and eventually start to get comfortable with the tricky grammar and vocabulary.

But as soon as you start talking to a native speaker, you’ll probably hear several words you’ve never heard before – and even a few confusing noises that are hard to decipher.

These funny sounds – which are usually described as discourse markers by linguists – can be used to express anything from exhaustion to surprise, or even to check whether the person you’re talking to is listening.

If you want to sound like a native, it’s worth getting familiar with these quirky noises and trying to incorporate them in your everyday speech.

The good news is that they’re a lot more fun to use than the tricky words you learn in language schools.

What’s more, they’re an easy way to add some natural flair and personality to your German.

READ ALSO: What are the different levels in German and how do I reach them?

Tja

Hearing this word can be confusing for foreigners, because it may sound an awful lot like “ja”, or yes.

But rather than being an affirmative response to a question, ‘tja’ is often used ahead of a contradiction or as an expression of scepticism, similar to the English word “well”.

You may also hear “tja”, or even “ja”, simply used as filler words for the speaker to buy time to think about what they’re saying. For example, if a stranger asks you if the next train to Dresden leaves from Platform 3, you may respond with “Ja… nein”, if you aren’t quite sure of the answer.

Another key meaning of ‘tja’ is best summed by a meme that defines it as a the typical German response to the apocalypse, nuclear war, alien attack or having no bread in the house.

When something catastrophic has happened – like the apolocalypse or an empty bread shelf – it can be taken to mean either “I told you so” or “sh*t happens”, casting an ironic light over the gloomy situation.

Here’s how you pronounce it.

Hä

This is a word you won’t read in the German textbooks, but “hä” is a sure-fire way to sound more German in your conversations.

Much like the English “huh?”, you can use “hä?” to express surprise or incomprehension. If a friend from your German course tells you they actually enjoy learning German grammar, then a disbelieving “hä?” is probably an apt response.

In a more banal context, if you haven’t quite understood what somebody’s said, a gentle “hä?” could stand in for the more polite and formal, “wie bitte?”.

A word of warning, though: “hä?” is viewed as very informal and can even be construed as rude in certain situations, so be sure to only use it among people you’re very friendly and familiar with.

Here’s how you pronounce it.

READ ALSO: German word of the day – Hä?

Ne

Whether you’re a fan of German podcasts or have a few German friends who enjoy to speak at length about the world, you’ve probably come across ‘ne’ at some point or other.

It’s generally used at the end of sentences to check that the other person is listening and has understood, similar to the English “right?” or “you know?”.

For that reason, it often has a high inflection, as if you’re asking a question – though you don’t necessarily expect a response.

So next time you embark on a long rant in German, try interjecting a “ne?” or two. This can add variety to your tone and at the very least ensure the other person hasn’t fallen asleep halfway through.

Here’s how it’s pronounced.

Auwa

When a German child trips and falls over at the Spielplatz, the first thing they may shout is, “Auwaaaaa!” before calling on their parents to come and comfort them.

But it’s not just the little ones who use this noise to express pain in Germany – adults will also emit an occasional “auwa!” if they accidentally stub their toe.

A sad teddy bear with broken arm

A sad teddy bear with a broken arm. “Auwa” is the most German way to respond to a painful accident. Photo: Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

An alternative to “auwa” is the more English-style “auch!”, which is pronounced the same as “ouch!” but spelled differently. This can also be used to respond to a comment that stings a little, as a good-natured way of letting someone know your feelings were hurt.

Here’s how “auwa” is pronounced.

Puh

Though hearing this word may bring some toilet humour to mind, “puh” has less to do with bodily functions than you might expect.

It’s actually more similar to the English word “phew”, which is used to express tiredness or relief.

One scenario you might use “puh” is after running to the bus stop to catch the last bus home. Once you sprint through the doors and sink into your seat, you may let out an exhausted “puh!” to show your relief at having made it.

Before you forget the more childish connotations entirely though, it’s worth knowing you can also use “puh” when encountering something disgusting.

If it’s your turn to take out the Biomüll and the rotten vegetables are starting to emit a foul odour, you might say, “Puh! Es stinkt!” (Ew! It stinks!”), before hurrying to the bins as fast as you can. 

Here’s how it’s pronounced.

READ ALSO: 12 colourful German expressions that’ll add swagger to your language skills 

Uff / Umpf

If you’ve ever eaten an entire bowl of Käsespätzle, you probably know the sensation of feeling so full you’re about to burst.

For precisely this situation, you’ll need to know “umpf” or “uff”. Both of these words neatly sum up that feeling of being stuffed to the brim with food – but not necessarily in a bad way.

A bit like “oof!” in English, “uff” and “umpf” are ways of showing that you’re both sated and a little bit sleepy after a big meal. With Germany’s very hearty cuisine, they’re both expressions that you’ll need in your life fairly often.

Here’s how “uff” is pronounced.

SHOW COMMENTS