The Italian lifestyle has plenty of perks, of course, but daily life is not all a dreamy holiday schedule of daily aperitivo and motoring through rolling hills in a Fiat 500. Movers to Italy and new arrivals need to get used to certain aspects of living here.  

It can take time to become accustomed and that’s half the fun, but there’s no doubt they can be a challenge, some more than others.

Even though she has plenty more reasons to love living in Italy, The Local’s Karli Drinkwater rounds up some of the trickier differences you’ll have to get used to. Readers will no doubt have their own views, so feel free to share them in the comments section below.

1. Food rules

You have no idea how much food controls everything about life in Italy until you’re in the country. It is the sun around which all life rotates and woe betide if you go against the forces of Italian nature and stray from the culinary norms.

My mum always tuts on her visits to Italy, usually complaining about not being able to have a cappuccino after lunch or why you can’t sprinkle parmesan on certain dishes (mainly fish).

READ ALSO: Seven surprising Italian food rules foreigners fall foul of

It took me a while to understand all the faux-pas I was making at first when all eyes swivelled on me.

Occasionally curious, other times they threw me a look as if I’d insulted their grandmother. ‘Ma cosa fai?’, they’d say incredulously as they gestured with their palms pressed together.

Still, as much as I’ve developed a deep appreciation for Italian food and wine, (and I fully acknowledge it’s my mum in the wrong here) it makes me giggle into my napkin to watch the reactions when mum orders a lemonade to pour into her Vermentino.

2. Cake for breakfast.

I’ve got used to this one – but only sometimes. I couldn’t eat sweet stuff every day as soon as I get up, no matter how many times they tell me it will give me energy. And possibly diabetes.

3. Eating times

Not only are there rules on what you can eat with what, on what and in what order, there are also set times for said structured dining.

It varies around the country, but often in the countryside and especially in the north, you can’t eat lunch after 2.30pm. That is, nowhere is still serving after that time.

It’s a move away from life in other countries where food is available 24/7, but in Italy there are plenty of times when the kitchen is closed, which can throw your day off if you didn’t know about it.

It makes sense and reassures me that the food is fresh, but occasionally you want to go have a meal at 3pm. Maybe you had a busy day and lunch got pushed back, you know?

READ ALSO: The common Italian food myths you need to stop believing

4. How much you have to eat

Okay, the last food-related one. I did warn you food was at the centre of everything.

Be prepared to eat in Italy. A lot. With family, friends, whoever you meet. You always eat. Nobody invites you for a coffee or a cup of tea. You go to eat and usually Italians will want to show their hospitality to you by cooking.

Now, I’m not saying that’s not lovely – just that you need to be prepared. And it’s not one dish – expect various courses including a starter, a pasta dish and a meat dish, followed by dessert and some after-dinner liquor and biscuits. It’s enough to give you an abbiocco that will definitely require a pennichella.

Multiply that for celebrations such as Christmas and New Year’s Eve. I want to cry thinking about that coming around again, knowing I’ll barely be able to see or walk after the 12 courses that stretch on all day until after midnight.

There’s a reason one of the first Italian words I learned was, ‘Mangia!’ (Eat!).

READ ALSO: What to expect when meeting your Italian in-laws

5. Fashion

Making ‘la bella figura’ (a good impression) is still paramount in Italy and Italians are very style-conscious.

You might be a fashionista already and take pride in your appearance, sure. But there are more rules about what you can wear when. If it’s mid-20s Celsius, you’d think there was nothing wrong with wearing a pair of sandals, right?

If it’s only April, wrong. Some locals will notice and comment on your bare toes at that time of year.

If I do that in the perfectly reasonable weather for it, some people tell me I look like a tourist (which is not ideal if you live in Italy).

6. Language

‘Boh‘ is a good Italian word to learn early on, equal to ‘I don’t know’ or the similarly short plosive in English, ‘meh’.

Learning Italian is an absolute must, no matter how long it takes you to get through everyday interactions. It’s something you’ll definitely have to face, which of course you should when you move to a new country anyway. But it’s best to know that you should study before moving here if you can, or at least book onto an intensive course when you arrive.

Italians are known for not usually speaking much English, although you’ll see differences in the big cities where multilingualism is much higher. It can mean moving here with no Italian language skills is stressful to say the least, depending on where you live.

It hit me, as I’d previously studied other languages before moving to the country where it’s spoken, but in this instance, I didn’t have the opportunity and just jumped in feet first, hoping for the best.

In other countries, you may find you have some grace period where you can get by speaking some English but it’s not really the case in many parts of Italy. But perhaps being thrown in at the deep end is the best way to learn.

READ ALSO: 12 signs you’ve cracked the Italian language

7. Bureaucracy

Where do we even begin with this? One thing is sure – it never ends.

Italian bureaucracy is legendary: the red tape that could wrap around the Earth three times and have you coming back for appointment after appointment, only to be told they’ve lost your files altogether.

Beat the queues: 19 bits of Italian bureaucracy you can do online

Get used to form-filling, departments more entangled than a pan of spaghetti, and the need for an iron resolve to keep going. I’ve had more than my fair share of repeated trips to the Questura (immigration office) to collect my post-Brexit ID card, only to be told it’s still not there (even when the official website says it is ready for collection).

Don’t try to use logic, it only makes things worse.

8. The obsession with plastic

There’s no logic for this one either. There seems to be a compulsion in Italy to use plastic.

Italians frequently buy water in plastic bottles literally by the barrel load and happily carry it up four flights of stairs to their apartment. Even though in most places, the tap water is perfectly drinkable – a privilege not the whole world enjoys.

And it doesn’t end at plastic water bottles. If there’s a BBQ, out come the single-use plastic plates, cups and cutlery. Ma perché?

Life in Italy: ‘How our shopping habits have changed since we moved from the US’

9. Arriving late

Italians are late for everything, which can be irritating if it happens all the time. Even high schools and universities have an academic quarter-of-an-hour, meaning it’s acceptable to turn up 15 minutes after the lesson start time.

It’s just something you’ll have to adapt to if you’re a punctual person. On the other hand, if you’re not, it’s great to not stress too much if you’re also running late. One thing you can do is to tell your friends to meet 15-30 minutes earlier than you actually plan to be ready. That way, they might actually be on time.

10. Queuing – or not

Queuing? What queuing? It can be chaotic, people push in and you just might lose your patience if you’re from a line-loving country like the UK.

But get used to it you must. Maybe you’ll end up loving the passionate disorder?

11. Cash gifts

Being a guest to practically anything, but especially weddings, is likely to make you sweat when you realise the culture of gift giving in Italy.

You spend a fortune on presents and it’s expected – don’t think you can spend time on finding something thoughtful, but perhaps doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.

Nope, they want cold, hard cash and they’ll make a note of how much you gave so they know what to give you back when it’s your turn.

My husband told me of times he was a witness (gulp, more than once), where you’re expected to give eye-watering amounts of money – in the ballpark of €1,000.

It’s a custom that I’m not sure Italians totally love. If there’s a summer packed full of weddings, you may hear some say that they can’t afford to go on holiday that year as they are invited to too many.

12. Cleaning standards

There’s keeping your house clean and tidy and there’s the Italian translation of what that means.

I have to confess I’m always a little apprehensive when Italian family and friends come over, as I know they have such high cleaning standards and look around our shelves with a scrutinising eye.

The vacuum cleaner is all I can hear from my neighbours or they’re outside beating their rugs. 

My in-laws in the south have two kitchens – one for everyday use and one that is pristine and only used when guests visit.

13. The role of women

Even though it’s a universal problem, Italy lags behind when it comes to gender equality and you might be shocked at how big that gap is.

Housework is still widely considered the woman’s domain, even if they have a full-time job. In fact, the word often used for ‘cleaner’ in Italian is ‘donna delle pulizie’. A female is specified in the term – literally, ‘woman of cleaning’.

When you’re independent and have long looked after yourself, it’s tough to get your head around the fact that in Italy, there are clearly defined, disadvantageous roles for women.

Although fortunately, not everyone is stuck in this mentality.

The husband (I can say that now!) is cooking for two nights in a row while I drink wine. He is Italian. Breaking all stereotypes… Although he did make a show of it.

— Karli Drinkwater (@karlibubbles) September 12, 2021

14. Dark houses

You can’t criticise Italians for wanting to keep cool in the summer, because it is absolutely sweltering in July and August.

So to survive those summer months, many older Italian houses are often dark and designed to let not much light – and heat – in. It makes sense, but it can feel a bit depressing to always be stuck in gloomy rooms.

READ ALSO: Italian property problems: Why do ten strangers own my bathroom?

15. Questionable TV shows

Italian TV, perhaps like TV in all countries for foreigners, can really turn your head at best – and at worst, can cause outrage. 

From the dolly girls in skimpy outfits dancing around an aged male presenter on Saturday evening shows, to the more than dubious ‘comedy’ sketches of controversial satire, it might be better to stick to Netflix.

What would you add to this list? Or perhaps you don’t agree with some of the points? Let us know in the comments below!