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Foreigners in Sweden share their stories of family reunions after pandemic separation

The pandemic has kept cross-border families apart, meaning loved ones have not only gone without usual visits but also missed out on occasions like births and deaths. Foreign residents of Sweden told The Local what it's been like to be reunited.

Published: 6 August 2021 11:36 CEST
Updated: 12 August 2021 11:39 CEST
Foreigners in Sweden share their stories of family reunions after pandemic separation
Corinne and her grandmother. Photo: Private

‘I saw my 94-year-old grandmother after two years’

Corinne, a French-English-American project manager, says one of the motivations for moving back to Europe from the US was to see her grandmother in southern France more often, but the pandemic put that on hold.

“We haven’t lived in the same place for my whole life but I usually managed a visit a year, especially as she has got older. This was the first time since I was very little that I hadn’t seen her at least once a year. It was strange. At 94 it feels like we lost almost two years of contact or at least two if not three visits. She got vaccinated in early 2021 but we waited until we had also received at least one shot and the numbers [of newly reported infections in Sweden and France] had gone down. Making the rules more clear about what you needed (at the time a PCR test) made it much easier.”

‘Reunited with my Swedish wife-to-be’

Ryan, a professional YouTuber in the US, met his fiancée online and they have been engaged for two years but spent 17 months and one day apart due to the pandemic.

“I flew to Sweden to meet her for the first time in May 2018 and we spent five magical days in Stockholm together. From that day on, whenever we were apart, we would be on an iPad call. If not the iPad, then a phone call.

“We then began flying back and forth to each other, her visiting me in America, and me staying with her and her family in Sweden. We were used to the separation after a while because I could only stay in Sweden for three months at a time, twice a year, but nothing could have prepared us for Covid.

“At first, it was just like any other time being away from one another. But the restrictions just kept getting extended. Again and again, our hopes of reunification were dashed. While away from one another, we fell asleep with each other on our iPads, watched shows together by counting down to zero so we would be in sync, and spent all the time outside of work with each other on a FaceTime call for the entire time we were apart. When America was added to the exemption list [from Sweden’s entry ban], it felt amazing! Like a weight had been lifted off both our shoulders. Needless to say, it has been an extremely rough time on the both of us, but she is worth every second, minute, hour of my life.”

‘My daughter met my parents for the first time’

Software engineer Srivani, 34, has not been able to see her parents in India since her daughter was born two years ago but finally made the trip this summer.

“There was no change in the travel requirement as India was still a red list country at the time of our travel, however we did travel since both my husband and I have been vaccinated. We have been in constant touch via video calls. My toddler hadn’t met my family in person due to the pandemic, so that was an emotional moment. My daughter had a good time with my parents and in-laws . The pandemic changed our lives in a unusual way. I have never been away from my family so long. I hope and wish things get better soon.”

‘Separation from family is harder since we had our son’

Anna Ramboldt is originally from Minnesota and lives in Linköping with wife Emilia and son Walter. She and Walter were able to travel to the US and see family over summer, though Emilia could not join them due to her employer’s rules about travel and quarantine.

“My son and I were reunited with my parents and sister – and even extended family after a bit of self-quarantine. We have always FaceTimed multiple times a week, but it’s just not the same as being able to see one another in person. I’m thankful for being vaccinated and for the opportunity to be ‘home’ again! It’s been tough. We haven’t been to Minnesota since Christmas 2019 when Walter was barely two years old. Surprisingly, he remembers things about being in Minnesota. The reunion was fantastic! My parents picked up me and my son and he ran into my moms arm’s. Not a dry eye between the four of us. It’s an amazing feeling to see your child reunited with their grandparents after one and a half years!”


Photo: Private

‘I got to see my best friend, but am still separated from my mum as she goes through cancer treatment’

An Coppens, 50, is from Belgium and commuted weekly between Stockholm and London before the pandemic. She is currently planning a trip to meet up with her Belgian parents elsewhere in Europe, and recently saw a close friend in London.

“My best friend and I met for the first time in 18 months this past weekend. We had been to her wedding in Spain 24 months ago and then I had met her a few times since in London when I travelled for work. It was great to be able to talk about the ‘shitshow’ pandemic time.

“She lost her mum to cancer and her husband lost his dad to a stroke [during the pandemic], both had to do things like quarantines on both sides because both are expats living in the UK but with parents in different countries. Because a large part of the conversation was dominated by Covid and what we missed, it felt so different to a normal catch-up. We talked about the big important things like death, disease, goals and motivations. It was beautiful to see her and her husband and have real human contact outside of my partner’s family. They are lovely, but it isn’t the same of having your own people around. I do feel as if I have become more introverted as a result of the pandemic.

“My mum was diagnosed with cancer and in a normal year, I would have gone over to stay with her and help out. All I could do was call frequently and I made a deal with a local florist to send her flowers every two weeks because she loves being out in her garden and she loves flower arranging and didn’t have the energy to do it. She has since come through her radiotherapy and operations as a cancer survivor. But for us it has been a scary time and the feeling of helplessness that you can’t do anything at all was the most frustrating. We will now finally get to see my parents after two years of meeting online only. We are planning a 10-day trip together in Portugal in September. Having booked the flights and with the arrangements being put together, it is starting to feel real.”

Thanks to all the readers who responded to our survey to share their stories. Some responses were edited for length or clarity.

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READER INSIGHTS

How to find a job in Sweden: Five tips from those who’ve been there, done that

The Swedish job market poses unique challenges for newcomers. The Local's readers share their best tips for cracking the career code.

Published: 10 April 2024 11:32 CEST
Updated: 13 April 2024 15:50 CEST
How to find a job in Sweden: Five tips from those who've been there, done that

Network, network, network!

A statistic that often gets tossed around is that seven out of ten jobs in Sweden are obtained through personal connections, and there’s no doubt that a good network is crucial to your job hunt, making the labour market extra challenging for newcomers to the country.

In fact, networking was the main tip mentioned by The Local’s readers.

“The job market is quite hot in Sweden, and talent is in short supply. People hiring do not have a lot of time to find the right talent, and tips from friends, colleagues and former colleagues are the way to first, find out organisations are hiring, and secondly, get your CV on the short list,” said Kyle, a Canadian reader who works in innovation management in Gothenburg.

“If you are going for a major employer like Volvo, network gets you in the door, as HR does not have much to do with hiring… the hiring managers do all of it and have no time, due to the insane number of consensus meetings. If you are looking for smaller organisations, they have even less time to find people, and networking is their primary way to find talent,” he added.

NETWORKING IN SWEDEN:

Some of the networking tips readers mentioned were going to job fairs, getting an internship to help you establish connections in your preferred field, joining clubs (this could be anything from your local gardening association to meetups for coders, but focus on clubs that may be popular among people working in your chosen field), and drawing on your organic network of friends, neighbours and others.

Don’t neglect the groundwork

The saying “dress for the job you want, not the job you have” is getting worn out (and people may look at you funny if you turn up to interviews in a Batman suit), but there’s truth to the notion of making sure you know what you want – and preparing for it.

In other words, don’t wait for a job ad to appear before you start to customise your CV and figure out what skill set you need. Create your CV now so that you’re ready to tweak it to your dream job – you could even have a general look at job ads in your field to see what requirements are needed. And don’t forget to spruce up your LinkedIn profile so that it fits with your career goals.

“I believe that several factors contribute to successfully landing a desirable job in Sweden. It’s essential to prepare to meet the requirements beyond just having a university degree. Many individuals realise these requirements only after completing their studies when they start searching for a job, which can be too late,” said Adnan Aslam from Pakistan, who works as a food inspector.

“I recommend identifying the job advertisements for positions you aspire to hold in the future and then preparing for those requirements during your studies. For me, acquiring a basic level of proficiency in the Swedish language and obtaining a Swedish driving licence were crucial. I pursued these goals during my studies and was able to secure a desirable job before graduating,” he added.

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Felipe Cabral even has a GPT assistant trained on his own CVs and old cover letters, and said the set-up only takes ten minutes if you already have your documents. “With that in place, you can give instructions like: Read this job description and create a tailored version of my CV and letter for it. (…) Remember to always review and ask it not to create data aside from your documents.”

Be flexible and ready to adapt

Moving to a new place inevitably means having to learn not just the practicalities such as how to write a CV or which websites to use to look for job openings, but also learning how to navigate a new culture with all its unspoken expectations.

Swedish workplaces are generally less hierarchical than many other countries, but that doesn’t mean you can say whatever you want whenever you want without anyone raising an eyebrow. Swedes are usually direct, but be careful of being too abrasive or boastful: raising your voice, even during a spirited argument, or banging your own drum to show off your skills may not go down well.

“Talk, deliberate, complain like a Swede and you’ll come across like you know what the job entails, so your trustworthiness increases,” said an Indian data analyst who preferred to remain anonymous.

“Office politics are just as strong in Sweden as anywhere else. The flat hierarchy is deceiving as social hierarchy is enforced quite a bit in that lack of formal hierarchy. Take your time in learning these dynamics wherever you work before revealing your talent and capabilities. Expect those internal politics to happen, and they won’t hurt so much when they do,” said Kyle, the Canadian reader in Gothenburg.

This article about Swedish office politics may be useful.

Stay true to yourself

Adapting to your surroundings is one thing. Completely changing who you are is another.

For one thing, your happiness is as important as your career progression, and for another, your foreignness need not be an impediment: it’s also a skill that sets you apart from the rest. It means you have unique experience, and also, in the right setting, provides an opportunity to sometimes violate those social rules we mentioned above, because people assume you will, anyway.

“Trust is key. Build trust in your network, work with integrity. It’s OK to violate jantelagen if you are maintaining integrity. Sometimes your outsider and more honest/open opinion will burn bridges, especially those that may feel threatened by talent. But it will build trust with other colleagues who see it as brave and more trustworthy to work with,” said Kyle from Canada.

Hunker down for the long haul

We don’t want to scare you, because there are plenty of examples of people who quickly find their dream job in Sweden and settle into their new workplace, enjoying perks such as long summer holidays, generous parental leave and the famous work-life balance.

But if you do find it tougher than you expected: know that you’re not alone.

Several readers who responded to the survey said they were still trying to find a job in Sweden.

“I found jobs all over Europe but not here. They say they have a lack of experienced senior engineers but the don’t seem to be doing much to solve this,” said a Brazilian in Gothenburg.

A reader from Bangladesh said she was “at a loss” as to how to make a career change from her current AI role in Stockholm, despite many years of experience as an IT project manager.

“Over the past 18 months, I’ve submitted over 600 applications to various organisations. Unfortunately, despite being overqualified for some positions, I’ve faced rejections at every turn, from both large and small companies. The job market here, especially for foreign-born women, feels overwhelmingly challenging,” she said, adding that the struggle had impacted her mental health.

The Local has on several occasions reported on foreign residents’ struggle to get a foot on the Swedish job ladder, with many facing hurdles such as employers’ unfamiliarity with international degrees, discrimination, or a lack of network that can provide paths into a company.

So during the job hunt, don’t forget to care for yourself. Share your concerns with fellow job-seekers, ask for help and join networking groups – this is good not just for creating new contacts, but also in terms of your social well-being and meeting people who are in a similar situation.

And finally, as one British reader in Stockholm advised, keep looking: “Be open-minded with the opportunities that present themselves. It isn’t an easy market to enter and doesn’t feel inclusive.” But he added, “don’t give up”.

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