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SPANISH HABITS

Eleven ways your social habits change when you live in Spain

When you really settle into life in Spain, you start noticing some of your social habits changing, even though the pandemic has made things slightly different.

Published: 28 November 2019 14:04 CET
Updated: 4 August 2023 08:21 CEST
Eleven ways your social habits change when you live in Spain
How many of these Spanish socialising habits have you picked up? Photo: Lluis Gené/AFP

Anyone who moves to a new country knows it takes a lot of effort to get out there and make new friends.

But as well as connecting with new people, you’ll probably notice some of your actual social life habits change too.

Here’s what you should look out for as you adapt to life in Spain.

You meet for an aperitivo

This pre-lunch routine is an essential weekend activity. It involves a glass of something cold – vermouth, sherry or an ice-cold caña – accompanied by a salty snack such as green olives or roasted almonds and is always enjoyed with friends and laughter.

It’s perfectly acceptable to meet friends just for the aperitivo for an hour or two before heading to your next social engagement, the long lunch.

Day drinking is common in Spain, but it’s rarely taken to excess. (Photo by Gabriel BOUYS / AFP)
 
 
 

You spend hours lingering over a meal

Which brings us nicely to the next point, a good meal should include a long leisurely chat long after the plates have been cleared.

Two hours after you first sit down it is not uncommon to be still seated at the table enjoying a sobremesa – the word describing the postprandial chat with your family members, friends or work colleagues.

This is when you will order copas such as ‘Gin Tonic’.

You learn not to be annoyed by lateness

It may be considered rude in some countries to keep someone waiting but Spaniards will be utterly perplexed if you apologize for anything less than a 20 minute delay to a social meetup. And they certainly won’t understand why you are annoyed when they casually stroll up 20 minutes late.

It’s not uncommon to receive a text at the time you are supposed to be meeting with the phrase “estoy en camino”. It literally translates as “I’m on my way” but probably means they are just leaving the house.

In Spain, most people are fashionably late to the party. (Photo by GERARD JULIEN / AFP)
 

And you start to do everything later too

Ok, everyone knows this one, but it is true. After living in Spain, the eating times in the UK, USA and practically everywhere else on the planet seem far too early. Spaniards typically eat lunch between two and four and don´t even think about dinner until around 9pm, unless you want to dine with the other guiris.

So a weekend lunch often doesn’t start until 3pm and a dinner reservation could be as late as 10pm or even 11pm.

It’s totally normal to meet friends for a drink after 11pm – just when you might be heading to bed in your home country.

You learn to confirm (and cancel if it’s raining)

Arrangements are not set in stone until you confirm at least on the day and quite often just an hour before you are supposed to be meeting up.

Spanish people often make plans with different groups of friends and then attempt (not always successfully) to combine the activities.

Oh, and in much of Spain where rain is scarce, it’s perfectly acceptable to cancel because of a downpour.

Rainy weather usually means cancelled outdoor plans in Spain. (Photo by JORGE GUERRERO / AFP)

You won’t get (too) drunk

Although Spain is full of bars and drinking alcohol is very much part of everyday culture, there isn’t the same culture of binge drinking that exists in northern European countries such as Britain, where it’s not unusual to find a seat in a pub after work on a Friday and stagger out at closing time with only a packet of salt and vinegar or a bag of roasted peanuts as sustenance.  

Ordering a pint instead of the more usual caña raises eyebrows in the expectation that the drinker is on a ‘bender’.  Tapas is considered an accompaniment to drinking and the phrase “eating is cheating” most definitely doesn’t apply.

The Spanish night out involves touring a number of different venues over the course of an evening, it’s all about the socialising rather than the alcohol consumption.

Many Spaniards drink on a daily basis but are generally not heavy drinkers. Photo: Cristina Quicler/AFP

You socialise as a family

Spaniards are extraordinarily social, even to the point that is rare to see someone eating at a restaurant table alone or, god forbid, make a solo trip to the cinema.

And there is little in the way of segregation between generations.  Weekend lunches involve all the family, from great grandparents to toddlers and café terraces will be filled until late into the night – at least in summer – with young children playing while their parents socialise.  

During fiestas, an essential part of community life in Spain, all ages get involved in activities and no-one is considered too old or too young to have a good time.

READ ALSO:  Nine Spanish culture shocks that I still can’t get my head around

You belong to dozens of Whatsapp groups

Spaniards are amongst the biggest users of WhatsApp and this means that you’ll probably end up belonging to several, if not dozens, of Whatsapp groups. There’s groups for work colleagues; neighbours; parents; a particular event such as “Cumpleaños de Juan” or “Friday night drinks”. Mute them to save yourself and those around from going mad with the constant notifications.

You pay for everyone’s drinks on your birthday

Spaniards are particularly generous when celebrating birthdays, but unlike in other countries where you can expect your friends to buy you drinks all night, here it is the job of the birthday boy or girl to treat all their friends.

So, the day you take your own cake into work and treat your friends to your own birthday drinks, you know you´ve gone native. 

READ MORE: Why does the birthday person pay for everyone’s food and drinks in Spain?

You kiss total strangers

Okay, this one may have been replaced by fist bumps, light hugs or pats on the back as a result of the pandemic, but the general rule will no doubt return one day.

Spanish people always kiss each other on the cheeks to greet each other. It is always two kisses and it takes place when you are introduced to someone even if it is the first time you meet them. If the greeting is between two men it’s a thump on the back, or a wave of the hand.

Any other form of greeting in Spain will be met with befuddlement. Attempt just one kiss and you will leave the Spaniards kissing in mid-air and if you stick out your arm for a handshake then expect it to be pulled in and met with the double kiss.

Men don’t usually greet each other with kisses in Spain, but sometimes the situation warrants it. (Photo by MIGUEL RIOPA / AFP)
 

It takes ages to say goodbye

By the time you are ready to leave the group, you will be old friends and this means another round of kissing everybody (currently replaced by the pandemic-friendly greetings) and a chat about things. Standing up and waving in the general direction of the group before making a hasty exit is just not a very Spanish way of doing things. And sneaking off without a word is just considered plain rude.

READ ALSO: The most common mistakes foreigners make when greeting people in Spain

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For members

SPAIN EXPLAINED

Why does Spain have no nuclear weapons?

Despite a top secret project to build them during the dictatorship, Spaniards have never been keen on the idea of nuclear weapons, especially since the US accidentally dropped four nuclear bombs on Almería.

Published: 15 April 2024 16:36 CEST
Why does Spain have no nuclear weapons?

Spain isn’t part of the reduced group of nations that have nuclear weapons, which includes European neighbours the UK and France.

It has never tested nuclear weapons, does not manufacture them, nor has it bought them from nuclear allies who make them.

Spain is still a NATO member and doesn’t shy away from involving itself in foreign policy debates, often taking positions against the mainstream.

But it has still never joined the nuclear club nor have Spaniards ever really wanted to, even though former dictator Francisco Franco had different ideas (more on that below).

In fact, Spaniards seem to have an indifferent if not abnormally negative view of nukes, largely stemming from an accident by an American air force on Spanish soil in the 1960s.

READ ALSO: How important is nuclear power to Spain?

A 2018 study on state attitudes towards nuclear weapons concluded that Spain had “little to no interest in nuclear weapons.” Yet Spain still benefits from NATO’s so-called ‘nuclear umbrella’ defence and has nearby neighbours, including France and the United Kingdom, that are nuclear powers. It is also home to several American military bases.

In that sense, Spain balances a somewhat unique position of being pro-nuclear for other countries and as a broader defence deterrence at the global level, but not on Spanish territory because it knows that would not sit well with Spaniards.

But why is this? Why doesn’t Spain have nuclear weapons?

Anti-nuclear sentiment among Spaniards

According to an article for Institut Montaigne by Clara Portela, Professor of Political Science at the University of Valencia, the Spanish people are “sensitised on nuclear weapons, if not negatively disposed towards them.”

Much of it comes down to history and, in particular, an accident involving nuclear weapons on Spanish soil. As part of post-war defence and security agreements Spain made with the U.S, American nuclear weapons were kept on Spanish soil.

Spaniards weren’t keen on the idea. Portela notes that “their presence at the Torrejón base near Madrid was a controversial issue” among the public, but it was an accident in 1966 that really soured Spaniards to nuclear weapons after an American aircraft carrying a hydrogen bomb crashed and dropped the device in the waters near the town of Palomares off the coast of Almería.

READ ALSO: Ten of the best documentaries about Spain

The incident caused “one of the bombs to fall to the seabed and leak radioactivity” into the surrounding area, Portela states, something that would have no doubt hardened many Spaniard’s perceptions towards nuclear weapons, especially as the American bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki was still in living memory for many.

A NATO-nuclear referendum

This scepticism towards nuclear arms was solidified twenty years later in a referendum on NATO membership. Though the government of the day campaigned for continued membership of the military alliance, it made it conditional on Spain also continuing as a non-nuclear power. A clause in the referendum consultation outlined this condition: “The prohibition to install, store or introduce nuclear weapons on Spanish soil will be maintained.”

Spaniards backed their continued, non-nuclear NATO membership by 13 percent.

A year later, in 1987, Spain formally signed the Treaty on Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons (NPT), further cementing its non-nuclear stance.

And that was it — with this and the result of the referendum, Portela suggests that “the issue of nuclear weapons was all but archived. It hardly re-surfaced in public debates for decades.”

An atomic bomb of the type nicknamed “Little Boy” that was dropped by a US Army Air Force B-29 bomber in 1945 over Hiroshima, Japan. (Photo by LOS ALAMOS SCIENTIFIC LABORATORY / AFP)

The nuclear dictator?

Despite the Spanish public’s distrust of nuclear weapons, there was one Spaniard in particular who was quite keen on the idea: Franco.

In what may be one of the most terrifying historical ‘what ifs’ ever, the fascist dictator wanted to equip Spain with a nuclear arsenal, started a project to do so, and came very close to achieving it.

The ‘Islero Project’, as it was known, was top secret and lasted for several decades of scientific research until it was finally abandoned in the 1980s after his death.

Firstly, a brief consideration of the geopolitics of the time is worthwhile here, and it concerns the Americans again. When the Second World War ended in 1945, Spain immediately became isolated on the international stage owing to its support for Nazi Germany and fascist Spain. It was excluded from the UN and shunned as a real player in international relations.

As the Cold War and threat of nuclear annihilation grew throughout the 1950s, Franco’s fierce anti-communism combined with the strategic geographical positioning of Spain led the U.S. to form closer ties with the dictatorship, promising financial aid and image rehabilitation in return for allowing American military bases in Spain.

READ ALSO: Where are the US’s military bases in Spain and why are they there?

The Junta de Energía Nuclear was created in 1951, undertaking research and atomic energy development more broadly, and it sent promising researchers to study in the U.S. When they returned, the Islero project continued in secret.

Rather bizarrely, it was the accident at Palomares years later that actually gave the scientists the key to designing an atomic bomb. Unconvinced by the American’s explanations for the debacle, the Spaniards working on plans discovered the Ulam-Teller method, which was fundamental to the development of the thermonuclear bomb or H-bomb.

However, the project was then frozen by Franco himself because he feared the United States would discover that Spain was trying to develop its own atomic bomb and impose economic sanctions.

After Franco’s death in 1975, Spanish scientists secretly restarted the project, but in 1982 the new Socialist government discovered the plans and disbanded the project. By 1987 the González government announced Spain’s accession to the Non-Proliferation Treaty NPT and the issue has rarely even come up as an issue since then.

And despite that, Spain is a NATO member, regularly attends the G20, and often plays a leading role on the global stage. Certain elements of the dictatorship had eyes on building a nuclear arsenal, but it never happened. Franco ultimately worried about the economic repercussions of being discovered, and Spaniards were themselves sceptical about the idea based on the experience in Palomares.

In terms of nuclear weapons, Spain is what Portela describes as a ‘de-proliferation’ state – in other words, a country that aspired to have nuclear bombs but reversed it.

It doesn’t look like changing anytime soon either. A survey in 2021 showed that Spain had the highest level of support for the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons, with a massive 89 percent majority.

READ ALSO: Why is Spain not in the G20 (but is always invited)?

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