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HEALTH

Ten things you need to know about giving birth in Italy

The prospect of giving birth can seem daunting at the best of times – and expat mums-to-be face a whole host of added challenges, from differences in healthcare systems to language barriers and cultural cues. US nationals Patricia Bowden and Rhonda Turnbough, who each had their children in Italy, tell us the ten things they wish they'd known beforehand.

Published: 6 September 2019 09:31 CEST
Updated: 30 December 2023 08:30 CET
Ten things you need to know about giving birth in Italy
Giving birth in a foreign country can be especially daunting. File photo: Pexels

1) You don’t have to worry about insurance 

The hospital will not charge anyone for giving birth or for any emergency procedures that may occur during labour and delivery.

This means that choices are not limited by any insurance plan, you don’t have to worry about your baby being taken to an in-network NICU (if necessary), and there are no financial forms to fill out. Instead, these services are paid for with our taxes.

READ ALSO: Pregnancy in Italy: What are the options for public or private healthcare?

This is also true for pre- and post-natal classes. Alternative birthing centers, however, are not covered.

2) But you do have to buy your own stuff

Each hospital requires you to bring your own things such as diapers, outfits for your newborn, your robe and etc. Some people have a hospital bag – I had a hospital suitcase!

3) Pre-natal classes are very sociable, but you have to put yourself out there

Butting in on other people’s conversations is a huge no-no back in the US and will the most likely response is a nasty side-eye. Because of this, I kept my mouth shut during my pre-natal classes at the hospital, which left me feeling very left out since everyone appeared to be good friends but no one seemed to want to talk to me.

Eventually, I realized that they weren’t actually old friends, but had just struck up a conversation at random. Two people would start talking, then another woman would join in and hey presto, she is in the conversation. This would continue until everyone was included in the conversation – but you have to make the first move.


Patricia Bowden gave birth in Genoa while still learning Italian. Photo: Private

Figuring this out took extra effort on my part since I was very early on in my Italian studies and couldn’t yet pick up on the specific social cues. Once I did though, I waited for the opportune moment (which took a while, because I had to understand what was being said before I jumped in) and began making friends. Mastering this skill changed my entire experience. So mums-to-be, don’t feel like you’re being ignored – just take the leap!

4) Women have comprehensive maternity leave. Men… not so much

Working mothers get five months (or more in some cases) off at full pay. If they work in an environment that could be harmful to the fetus, they can take their whole pregnancy off with full pay.

As Americans, we are used to considering maternity leave from the employer’s point of view, so this seems like a lot, but think about how awesome it is for the mom and her new baby to have so much time together. If the mother doesn’t have a job but the father does, he can take a month off at full pay and more months off with partial pay.

READ ALSO: How much maternity, paternity, and parental leave do you get in Italy?

When it comes to dads, the situation seems to vary by employer. My friend’s husband got one month with full pay and five months at 30 percent pay, which he can take over the next five years; however, my husband got just two days. If you come from a country where generous paternity leave is the norm, such as one of the Nordics, this may be a less pleasant surprise.

5) Italians are very accommodating towards pregnant women

Once I began showing, no one let me stand on public transport – whether they were old or young. I receive the same reception now when I take public transport with my baby. I am always offered a seat, even if my little one is in his stroller. People also always offer to help me lift my stroller up or down, will hold things if I need it, or even help me open and close my stroller.


Lorenzo at Halloween. Photo: Private

People are also willing to help distract my baby when he is fussy. One restaurant owner carried our baby around while working to give us time to eat in peace.

Some places even have reserved spaces for pregnant shoppers in the parking lot of the mall and grocery store (pink parking!). It was always a thrill to be able to get priority parking, especially when I was huge. The only bad thing is that there are always more pregnant women than open spaces, so sometimes you and your giant belly are forced to park at the furthest away spot and walk, just like the rest of the population.

READ ALSO: 15 practical tips for pregnancy in Italy

6) It pays to have children

Italy has a shrinking population. To combat this, Italy offers a subsidy for children to parents with an annual income of a certain amount to encourage people to procreate. Some companies also offer subsidies when an employee (male or female) has a child – a welcome bonus!


Rhonda is from Las Vegas and gave birth in Ferrara. Photo: Private

7) The one-person rule

Most hospitals in Italy only allow one person (of the mother’s choice) into the delivery room and in your hospital room. This is to limit the amount of germs the baby is exposed to during this delicate period, but you should be aware of it in advance to ensure you’ve chosen your birthing partner.

8) Your child will become the ultimate ice-breaker

This is really helpful if you moved to Italy as an adult and live in a city with few foreigers. When you move to a new place as an adult, usually everyone your age seems to have a full social group so no-one talks to you. But your little one will make you the most popular person in town. Even small children and rowdy teenagers will come up and play with your little one. 

READ ALSO: ‘Kids are adored here’: What parenting in Italy is really like


Rhonda and her baby. Photo: Private

9) Italian food

Probably the best part about giving birth in Italy is that it’s home to the world’s favorite cuisine. I was lucky to be at a hospital that actually let me pre-select my lunch and dinner from a menu so I never had to worry about allergies or intolerances. However, hospitals all over the country will make sure you won’t receive anything you cannot eat. This foodie’s tummy was super satisfied with the quality of the food. My only complaint would be that I wish I had more.

10) Some hospitals may encourage you to scream!

It could be said that Italians have a more ‘vocal’ culture, and perhaps this is why some nurses during your labour will require you to scream bloody murder in order to open your cervix. Whether it works or not is debatable, but I guess everything is worth a try when your baby doesn’t want to come out. One thing this does NOT do is put the other expectant mothers at ease while they are waiting their turn!

Patricia Bowden is an avid traveler and a translator of academic medical articles for publication, government-issued documents, and various cultural pieces from Japanese and Italian into English. Although originally from New York, NY, she currently lives in Genoa, Italy, with her husband and 11-month-old son, Lorenzo, who is currently a child model. In her spare time, she enjoys experimenting with delicious concoctions in her kitchen. To learn more about Patricia, visit her on ProZ. If you would like to work with Lorenzo, please contact B Talent Scout Agency.

Rhonda Turnbough is an artist, originally from Las Vegas, Nevada, U.S.A. who currently lives in Ferrara, Italy with her husband and one-year-old daughter. Her favorite things about living in Italy are the socialized medicine, relative lack of gun violence, and the ridiculously vast selection of yogurt. You can learn more about her at www.rhondaturnbough.com.

This article was first published in 2016

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For members

MARRIAGE

Marriage vs de facto partnership – which is the better option in Italy?

High costs, unimplemented laws, and slow processing times are all barriers to having a de facto relationship recognised in Italy. Is it better to get married?

Published: 5 April 2024 14:06 CEST
Marriage vs de facto partnership - which is the better option in Italy?

Back in 2016, the Italian government passed the Cirinnà Law, which granted more rights to unmarried couples in the country and cleared the way for the state to recognise them as de facto couples (coppia di fatto).

These rights include access to their partner’s medical records in the event of an illness, visitation rights if the partner is in prison, and eligibility to receive any damages if the partner died in a third-party accident. These were not rights unmarried couples had beforehand.

The law outlines that the couple can be heterosexual or same-sex, must be over the age of 18 and must not be related. Documents for an application include signing a Declaration of Constitution of De Facto Cohabitation (Dicharizione Di Costituzione Convivenza di Fatto) along with identity documents. The couple must be living together and registered at the same anagrafe.

It sounds easy enough to obtain, doesn’t it? But the theory turns out to be much more straightforward than the practical. 

Take Steven Leeming and his Italian partner Giulia. Steven partially relocated to Italy from the UK eight years ago. He had been living in the country on and off due to the duo working overseas. They sought a coppia di fatto after the Brexit transition period.

“No one really knew what to do because the transition period being over was so fresh, so people were a bit confused when we asked for our relationship to be recognised,” Steven says. 

When Steven applied for the coppia di fatto two years ago, he did not have Italian residency due to being out of the country for long periods of time. He was advised to enrol in an Italian language course so he could get a student visa and his permesso di soggiorno, which most non-EU citizens should have to be in the country if they want to spend more than 90 days in a 180-day period. The language course he was proposed cost around 5,000 euros.

READ MORE: What you need to know about divorce law in Italy

“It was too expensive for us,” his partner Giulia says. “So this was not a good option at all. We went to a lawyer instead and they said to us we should go to the anagrafe and ask for Steven to be put down in the same residency as me.”

This is where the couple faced a problem. The anagrafe could not put Steven down as living in the same address as they could not find Steven in the Italian system therefore they were told the couple could not register as a coppia di fatto.

“We were stuck in a never-ending loop,” adds Giulia.

This is a hurdle quite a few international couples looking to get coppia di fatto in Italy face if they do not have residency in the country. 

The Court of Bologna was one of the first to rule people without a permesso di soggiorno could get a coppia di fatto. Photo by GABRIEL BOUYS / AFP.

In 2020, the Court of Bologna and the Court of Modena ruled foreigners have the right to enter Italy to be reunited with an Italian partner even if they are not registered on the system. The Court of Milan, the province in which Steven and Giulia now reside, ruled the same a year later in 2021. 

“We were stuck,” Giulia continues. “We went in there with the laws printed out, and they still wouldn’t listen.”

Steven says he gave up on getting a coppia di fatto in Italy. It just so happens his granddad was Polish and he was able to get his Polish passport. As he is now a citizen of the European Union once more, it is easier for him to be in Italy.

“In total it took me seven months to get my passport and cost me 1,000 pounds, which is a hell of a lot quicker and cheaper than getting a coppia di fatto from here,” Steven adds.

The two were advised time and again to get married as it would make things easier.

“We didn’t want to do this, because it is within our legal rights to be recognised as a couple without being married,” Giulia says.

“I do understand the logic behind their advice though,” joins Steven. “It would have been quicker to be able to stay in the country and get your rights recognised.”

READ ALSO: Why you shouldn’t take your husband’s surname in Italy

Steven and Giulia aren’t the only couple who have been advised to get married.

UK citizen Robynne Eller, an E-learning consultant in Bari, says she’s been advised time and time again to do the same with her Italian partner. The two met in the UK and lived there together for two years before making the move to Italy in May 2021. 

Robynne enrolled onto a university course so she could get her permesso di soggiorno. When she finished, she and her partner applied for a coppia di fatto. That was last year, and there is still no word on the progress of her application.

“I feel like I’m stuck in limbo,” Robynne says. “With the permesso di soggiorno, I had my receipt in hand so I could leave and enter the country without being held up by border control. With the coppia di fatto application, I received nothing.”

Robynne is worried about leaving Italy for now, in case border control don’t let her back into Italy – but she says she’ll have to do it soon as her grandmother back in the UK is ill.

Her permesso expired in December last year. When she asked her immigration lawyer what to do, he responded that she was fine because her application for a coppia di fatto was in place.

“I have nothing to hand if they question me on my motive to be in the country,” Robynne says. “Without my documents, I can’t do much here. I can’t progress in my field of work because I need a contact and to have a contact you need to have a number. 

READ ALSO: The five most essential pieces of paperwork you’ll need when moving to Italy

“I can’t be put down on rental agreements. And I can’t fly out to see my family or go on holiday. I’m trying to construct a life here but I don’t know where I stand.”

Robynne and her partner have both paid sums of money to the immigration lawyer, who has not updated them frequently nor given them a timeline on when the coppia di fatto will be completed. She says it is infuriating because this is something you should be able to do alone without legal help.

“Anything bureaucratic is really complicated and lengthy and I’ve learnt not to expect the same things as I would in the UK. But on top of that I want a future here and that isn’t secure yet.”

Robynne is also infuriated at the fact she has been advised to marry by local government workers. She sees the choice to marry as a highly personal one and discloses she would like to marry her partner one day, but she has recently got divorced and cannot contemplate marrying again so soon after. 

“If there is a law for a coppia di fatto, Italy should implement their law,” Robynne argues. “What they should not do is try and force marriage on people. That’s not right.”

The same advice was given to another British citizen, who has asked to remain anonymous for visa processing reasons. She moved to the Sorrento area just last month with her child and partner. 

They decided the coppia di fatto was not for them as it was too lengthy, and marriage is not on the cards just yet.

She was fortunate enough to be able to apply for a family reunification visa as her daughter is a dual citizen. She chose the visa as she supposed she would stand a greater chance of being permitted to stay here. 

“We’ve submitted the family reunification application and have a date to attend the appointment in November. I’ve been told I am fine to stay until then as it’s an ongoing thing, even though it will take me over my 90-day limit,” she says.

Unlike Robynne, she has been told she can fly to and from the UK with no restrictions. 

As seen with all three cases above, the coppia di fatto route in Italy, though legal, is by no means necessarily easy. There is still a lot of uncertainty around the process despite it being legal for eight years. 

Getting married for some may not necessarily be better, but as Steven pointed out, it would very likely be quicker.

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