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DATING

The chat up lines that might actually bag you a date in France

If you've tried making your move in France, you may have noticed it is far from being a walk in the park. So here's a little helping hand for better French flirting.

The chat up lines that might actually bag you a date in France
The Eiffel tower is illuminated with pink hearts and love messages to mark the Valentine's day in Paris in 2020. (AFP / STEPHANE DE SAKUTIN)

If you’ve just clapped eyes on the woman of your dreams in a French bar, you need to make sure that your approach won’t lead to either dismissive laughter or a slap.

Classic cheesy chat up lines like Tu n’as pas eu mal quand tu es tombée du ciel? (did it hurt when you fell from the sky) are petty unimpressive even in English, but are even less likely to snag you a date with a French lady.

So we’ve asked a selection of our French friends which approaches might make them more inclined to accept a date with a charming English-speaker.

(Hopefully this goes without saying, but if you’re getting nowhere and the lady has made it clear that she is not interested, then please don’t run through this entire list, just gracefully back off and leave her to enjoy her night out.)

Je peux t’offrir un verre?

If you are in bar, Je peux t’offrir un verre? – May I buy you a drink? will be your go-to opening line. Offering someone a drink may be a classic and universal move, but it remains one of the most likely to success approach, even in France. Depending on the time of the day, you may want to suggest having a café instead.

Mes copains m’ont parié que je ne pouvais pas démarrer une conversation avec la plus belle femme du bar. Tu veux boire un coup avec leur argent ?

‘My buddies bet I wouldn’t be able to talk to the most beautiful woman in the bar. Wanna have a drink on them?’ – which is a variant of the usual ‘Je peux t’offrir un verre?’ that might allow to stand out and get a positive answer. 

J’aimerais beaucoup faire ta connaissance.

‘I would really like to get to know you’. Usually following an hello, a ‘J’aimerais beaucoup faire ta connaissance‘ would be ideal if you need a break from more physics-orientated chat-up lines.

Je suis tombé sous ton charme.

‘I fell under your spell.’ This is where it gets serious. Je suis tombé sous ton charme is not a phrase you would use on a regular basis though – save it for someone who really took your breath away.

Tu me fais perdre tout mes moyens.

‘You’re making me lose myself.’ Whether you seem to have lost your ability to speak, cannot think straight, feel like you are being hypnotized, are nervously sweating or all of it at the same time, this is the line for you.  

Tu me fais tourner la tête.

In the words of the famous Edith Piaf in her song Mon Manège à moi, Tu me fais tourner la tête – ‘You’re making my head spin’ means to feel dizzy, as though you were drunk in love. Not to be mistaken with a literal translation which would be to turn somebody’s head.

T’as de beaux yeux, tu sais.

As Jean Gabin said: ‘You have beautiful eyes, you know’. It may not earn you an answer such as an Embrasse-moi – (kiss me) as with Gabin’s co-star Michèle Morgan, but a thoughtful reference to this classic French cinema line will probably be appreciated. The French do use this line figuratively from time to time  – when changing the tone of their voice to impersonate Gabin, it makes it harder to know whether they mean it or are just quoting Quai des Brumes.

Vous venez souvent ici?

‘Do you come here often?’ – Another classic icebreaker, so let’s learn it in French. Though it may not be the most creative or subtle approach, let’s argue that it’s better than not to say anything.

Excuse moi de te déranger, mais je me suis dit que je serai fou de ne pas venir te parler.

‘Sorry to bother you, but I thought it would be crazy not to come and talk to you.’ – With this one, you will be going straight to the point. Candid and honest, all the while being considerate by apologising right away.

Salut, j’ai envie de t’aborder. Mais j’ai peur. Je ne sais donc pas si je vais le faire ou pas.

‘Hey, I really want to talk to you, but I’m scared. So I don’t know if I’m gonna do it.’ The paradox of approaching someone by saying you don’t know if you’re going to actually approach them will either have them giggling or giving you a pitying look – we are betting on a fifty-fifty chance on that one.

J’aimerai beaucoup te revoir.

‘I would really love to see again’. If any of the lines above helped you strike up a conversation with a stranger, let them know you really appreciated the time spent in their company and would like a second chance, saying ‘J’aimerais beaucoup te revoir‘ may be a way to get there!

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

Only joking! Unless you are actually part of a Lady Marmalade tribute act, do not ever use this one.

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LEARNING FRENCH

Is the English language really just ‘badly pronounced French’?

A French linguist has been making waves with his boldly titled book 'The English language does not exist - it's just badly pronounced French', but does the professor actually have a point?

Is the English language really just 'badly pronounced French'?

The French linguist Bernard Cerquiglini is clear that the title of his book should be taken with humour and a pinch of salt, beginning his work by explaining that it is a ‘bad faith proposition’.

Clearly, the English language does exist and equally clearly the French are a little uneasy about it – with numerous laws, national bodies and local initiatives attempting to fight back against the anglicisms that now litter everyday speech, from ‘c’est cool’ to ‘un job’. 

But Cerquiglini argues that the supposed ‘influx’ of English words that are now used in France, especially tech-related terms, is nothing compared to what happened when French literally invaded English in the Middle Ages.

And the close similarity that the two languages enjoy today – around 30 percent of English words are of French origin – speaks to this entwined history.

“You can also see my book as an homage to the English language, which has been able to adopt so many words… Viking, Danish, French, it’s astonishing,” he told AFP.

The history

The key date in the blending of English and French is the Norman conquest of 1066, when Duke William of Normandy invaded England with a small group of Norman knights and made himself the English king William the Conqueror.

What happened next was a radical re-ordering of society in which English nobles were displaced and William’s knights were installed as a new French-speaking (or at least Norman-speaking) ruling class. 

The use of French by the ruling classes continued into the 13th and 14th centuries, by which time French was the official language of the royal courts, diplomacy, the law, administration and trade – meaning that ambitious English people had no choice but to learn French in order to take part in official or legal processes. 

Cerquiglini says that half of all English’s borrowings from French took place between 1260-1400, with a heavy slant towards words related to nobility, trade, administration or the law.

But a large group of non-native speakers meant that the French spoken in England was already starting to evolve, and the French words ended up with different pronunciations or even a different meaning. 

As early as 1175, the records show a Frenchman in England snootily remarking that: “My language is good, because I was born in France”. 

English and French started to part ways from the mid-1400s, by which time the two countries no longer shared royalty (the last English possession in France, the port of Calais, was lost to the French in 1558) and gradually systems such as the law courts and trade began to be conducted in English.

French remained widely spoken as a second language by the nobility and the elite right up until the early 20th century and French is still the most widely-taught language in UK schools.

The similarities

It’s not always easy to distinguish between English words that have a French root and those that have a Latin root, but linguists estimate that around 29 percent of English words come from French, another 29 percent from Latin, 26 percent from German and the rest from other languages.

But many of the English words that do have a clear French root are related to nobility, administration, politics and the law.

For example the French words gouvernement, parlement, autorité and peuple are clearly recognisable to English speakers. Likewise budget, revenus, enterprise and taxe, plus avocat, cour, juge, magistrat and evidence.

Amusingly, the French and the English obviously found time to share many insults, including bâtard [bastard], crétin, imbecile, brute and stupide.

Adaptation

But most of the people in England who were speaking French did not have it as their mother tongue, so the language began to adapt. For example the French à cause de literally translates into English as ‘by cause of’ which over time became the English word ‘because’.

There are also words that started out the same but changed their meaning over time – for example the English word ‘clock’ comes from the French ‘cloche’ (bell), because in the Middle Ages church bells were the most common method of keeping track of the time for most people.

When the mechanical clock began to appear from the 14th century onwards, the French used a new term – une horloge – but the English stuck with the original.

The differences

One of the big differences between English and French is that English simply has more words – there are roughly 170,000 words in the English language, compared to about 135,000 in French.

And at least part of this comes from English being a ‘blended’ language – that English people hung on to their original words and simply added the French ones, which is why you often get several different English words that have the same translation in French eg clever and intelligent both translate into French as ‘intelligent’.

Another difference represents the class divide that the Norman invasion imposed between the French nobles and the English labourers.

For example the words pig and cow both have Anglo-Saxon roots, while pork and beef come from French (porc and boeuf) – so when the animal is in the field being looked after by English peasants it has an Anglo-Saxon name, but by the time it is on the plate being eaten by posh people, it becomes French.

There’s also a tendency in English for the more everyday words to have Anglo-Saxon origins while the fancier words have French origins – eg to build (English) versus to construct (French). In French construire is used for both. Or to feed (English) versus to nourish (French) – in French both are nourrir.

Faux amis

One consequence of English and French being so closely linked in the bane of every language-learner’s life – les faux amis (false friends).

These are words that look and sound very similar, but have a completely different meaning. If you don’t know the French word for something you can have a stab at saying the English word with a French pronunciation – and often you will be right.

But sometimes you will be wrong, and sometimes it will be embarrassing.

READ ALSO The 18 most embarrassing French ‘false friends’

Often, faux amis are words that have changed their meaning in one language but not the other – for example the French word sensible means sensitive, not sensible – which is why you can buy products for peau sensible (sensitive skin).

But it once meant sensitive in English too – for example in the title of Jane Austen’s novel Sense and Sensibility – over time the meaning of the English word adapted but the French one stayed the same.

The title

And a word on that title – La langue anglaise n’existe pas, C’est du français mal prononcé (the English language does not exist, it’s just badly pronounced French) is actually a quote from former French prime minister Georges Clemenceau.

He did apparently speak English, but doesn’t appear to have been very fond of England itself – his other well-known quote on the topic is: “L’Angleterre n’est qu’une colonie française qui a mal tourné” – England is just a French colony gone wrong.  

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