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LIFE IN SPAIN

The ultimate guide to Spanish wedding etiquette

Wedding season in Spain is upon us again. If you've been invited to one and have never been to a Spanish wedding before, here's what to expect.

Spanish weddings have their own set of rules and traditions that are different from those in the UK or Spain. Photo: Alagich Katya/Flickr.
Spanish weddings have their own set of rules and traditions that are different from those in the UK or Spain. Photo: Alagich Katya/Flickr.

If you’re new to the country and have never attended a Spanish wedding, The Local brings you a few nuggets of wisdom to help you prepare for the spectacle.

Dress code

Always remember the golden rule: white is for the bride only. A more informal rule is that short dresses work best for day weddings, while longer ones are preferred at night. Other than that, feel free to dress up as much as you like; casual weddings are almost unheard of in Spain and ladies usually don their best cocktail dresses. The same goes for men – dark suits and ties are expected.

White is only for the bride. Photo: Wu Jianxiong / Unsplash
 

Accessories

Spanish weddings are littered with quirky accessories. You’ll see a lot of brightly coloured clutch purses, and more unusually tocados, known as fascinators in the UK. These are feathery, floral little headpieces common at day weddings. You can buy one for as little as €10, or spend a bit more to customise your own. As for shoes, always wear heels, and carry a pair of roll-up flats to change into if you’d like – receptions involve dancing and can carry on into the wee hours of the morning. 

You’ll also find that a fan – colour-coordinated with your outfit, of course – is the perfect way to keep your cool during the ceremony. 

Accessories such as fascinators and hats are popular. Photo: Brett Jordan / Unsplash
 

Hair and Makeup

It’s fine to do your own hair and makeup, but most Spanish women have their hair professionally styled for the occasion. Remember that you’ll probably never attend a casual Spanish wedding – if such a thing exists – and guests are ALWAYS expected to look their best. 

Prepare yourself for some quirky traditions 

From throwing rice at the newly married couple as they leave the church, to cutting up the groom’s tie, sharing 13 gold coins or having the bride arrive in a carriage dragged along by oxen (if it’s in Castilla y León), there are plenty of unique regional wedding traditions across Spain which can cause jaws to drop among foreign guests.

Wedding gifts

These days, bank deposits or straight-up cash are much more common than the outdated norm of wedding registries and presents. A couple will usually provide you with their bank information on the wedding invitation; you can simply transfer the money from your account or deposit a cheque with your name and a short congratulatory message. Unfortunately, the hardest part is deciding how much money to gift. At the very least, you are expected to cover the cost of your banquet meal at the wedding. A minimum of €75-100 per person is customary.

Accommodation

Towns and villages along Spain’s coastline are enormously popular wedding destinations, and you’ll most likely have to travel to get there. These weddings are usually longer than one day and often include a welcoming dinner the evening before the big day. In that case, the couple will provide a number of suggestions to help their guests decide where to stay.

Many weddings take place away from large cities such as on the beach or remote villas. Photo: Arshad Pooloo / Unsplash

Seating

Keep in mind that most Spanish weddings are much larger than their British or American equivalents. You’re likely to meet extended family, friends, more friends, and even acquaintances. During the church service, the front rows are reserved for close family. At large weddings, it’s not unusual to stand through the service. You’ll receive an assigned seat number for dinner.

Banquet

The pre-dinner apéritif and finger foods are abundant and delicious. Be prepared for a lot of beer, wine, seafood, and jamón. Afterward, the banquet follows tradition; much like an average Spanish family dinner, the meal is served late (around 10pm) and is an opportunity to socialise. It’s an enjoyable affair that could last two or three hours.

Sobremesa

This delightful Spanish term lacks an English equivalent. Sobremesa is the post-dinner period of relaxation that gives guests a chance to enjoy coffee and a slice of wedding cake before the dancing begins.

Wedding banquets are huge over-the-top affairs in Spain. Photo: CHUTTERSNAP / Unsplash

Dancing

Once the bride and groom have had their first dance, close family members have their turn on the dance floor. After that, it’s acceptable for all the other guests to join in. At this point, it’s probably a good idea to exchange those heels for a comfortable pair of flats; don’t be surprised if the dancing goes on until it’s nearly time for sunrise.

Pace yourself!

It’s likely the night won’t end until you’ve had a 6am breakfast of fresh churros dipped in hot chocolate. That’s why it’s important to pace yourself – enjoy the flowing drink, but don’t go overboard as you will be expected to drink cocktails long into the night.

Wedding traditions vary from region to region, so you’ll learn not only about Spanish culture but also regional cultures wherever you go. And most importantly, remember to have fun! 

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LEGAL HELP

Noisy local fiestas: What to do when your Spanish town hall is responsible

Town and city fiestas are commonplace in Spain and they’re part of what made many of us fall in love with the country in the first place, but sometimes the town hall can overstep and the noise pollution just gets too much to bear for neighbours.

Noisy local fiestas: What to do when your Spanish town hall is responsible

It’s bad enough in Spain when you have to deal with noisy neighbours or loud bars and clubs, but what about when the culprit is your ayuntamiento (town hall) or city council?

If you want to know what your rights are on noise from construction, find out here, what to do about noisy neighbours here and about bars and clubs here

During these local fiestas (every city, town and village has at least one a year), councils set up concert and performance venues form of open-air stages or tents called casetas or carpas.

In these cases, there’s often no sound insulation and the noise carries much further as everything happens outside.

Even though these festivals may only go one for a week or two, they can often disturb residents who aren’t in attendance and are trying to sleep.

You could be someone who needs extra sleep like a doctor, nurse or firefighter, you may be ill or have small children, there are many reasons why you might not be able or want to join in. Even if you are in the minority, your rights should still be respected.

In fact, in places such as Barcelona, when the local Gràcia festival takes place, there’s so much noise created by neighbourhood organisers that some people even decide to leave their apartments for the week as they know they won’t be able to sleep.

This option is of course not open to everyone, and in truth, you shouldn’t have to leave your home temporarily because of a celebration that is supposed to bring joy to the local population.

So, what can you legally do and what are your rights?

Even city and town councils must continue to comply with municipal by-laws during local fiestas. The Spanish Civil Code guarantees that you should have respect in your own home.

Law 40/2015, of October 1st, on the Legal Regime of the Public Sector, which came into force in October 2016, establishes that “Public Administrations objectively serve the general interests and act in accordance with the principles of effectiveness, hierarchy, decentralisation and coordination, with full submission to the Constitution and the Law”. 

This means that even the authorities must uphold the law and serve their people. They have a public responsibility to manage and to do it to the best of their abilities.

The first thing to keep in mind is that you stand a much better chance of getting your council to listen if you find other people who are affected too, so it’s not just you complaining on your own.

Make sure to talk to your neighbours or others living on the same street to find out if they’re also affected by the noise and form a group of people who share your grievances.

In theory, councils and ayuntamientos are in charge of enforcing celebration schedules, making sure the volume of music isn’t too loud, controlling the capacity at venues and enforcing alcohol laws so that people are not drinking on the street (if it’s not allowed in that region).

READ ALSO – FACT CHECK: No, Spain’s Balearics haven’t banned tourists from drinking alcohol

According to Law 7/2002 on protection against noise pollution, these are the maximum sound levels allowed for leisure venues:

Nightclubs: 104 decibels

Venues with musical entertainment: 90 decibels

Game rooms: 85 decibels

Bars and restaurants: 80 decibels

Find out if the festival events and activities infringe on any of these rules and regulations above and if they do then you have a case to take to your town hall.

Technically, the festivals should take place at a local fairground or somewhere away from the main residential area, but we know that this is not always the case. The concerts and events often happen in the very streets and squares where people live.

Firstly, you need to contact your ayuntamiento or local council or explain the problem. It’s best if you put it in writing so there’s a record of what you’ve said.

Try to include as much evidence as possible as to how the festivals are breaking the rules and include testimonials from as many neighbours as you can.

Organisers may not listen to you the first time, but if you keep contacting them, they will be forced to listen and have to respond.

If the situation is the same every year and they still don’t change anything, then you and your neighbours should contact a lawyer to represent you and take the matter to court.

This has actually been done several times by different communities throughout the country and in many instances, the law has sided with the people instead of the authorities.

In 2017, the Superior Court of Justice of Navarra, sided with a community of owners in Mutilva Baja when they complained about noise coming from an outdoor tent which had been erected for the festivities of the local patron saint. They claimed it was noise pollution above the legal levels and said the council had done nothing to try and reduce it.  

In another case in Getafe, thanks to a neighbourhood protest led by a lawyer specialising in noise pollution called Ricardo Ayala, the carnival celebrations were moved to the fairgrounds on the outskirts of the city.

Again in 2022, in Castilla-La Mancha, the Supreme Justice Tribunal imposed a sentence on the the Puerto Lápice City Council due to damages derived from noise pollution from musical events held in the town square.

The celebrations were not forced to be stopped completely but the council did have to agree with a limitation on hours and noise levels specifically for the concerts held in tents outside. It did not affect any other part of the festival.

Therefore, it is possible to take legal action against your ayuntamiento if they are breaking the law, but there’s no guarantee it will be a straightforward process.

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