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HUMOUR

The 15 absolute worst things about living in Italy

A British writer based in Rome takes a tongue-in-cheek look at living in Italy. Warning: sarcasm ahead.

Published: 10 October 2018 13:16 CEST
Updated: 27 December 2019 00:23 CET
The 15 absolute worst things about living in Italy
This is terrible. Honestly. Photo: DepositPhotos

You might be under the impression that life in Italy is one endless dream involving change-your-life pizza, handsome strangers and late-night vespa rides through cobbled piazzas.

Do not believe the hype… and definitely don’t bother booking a plane ticket. Here are 15 reasons to stay away altogether.

Cheap coffee

While the rest of the world has realized that supersized, syrup-laden coffee with sprinkles, toppings and other calorific additions is the future, Italy is stuck in the old days. Here, coffee comes short, strong and unadulterated by additives and accompaniments. Plus, it costs around €1 – what a rip off.

Taking food seriously

Outside Italy, dining is simple. Fancy a cappuccino after midday? No problem. Want parmesan on your seafood pasta? Sprinkle with wild abandon. Pineapple on pizza? Go wild. Break these sacred food rules in Italy, however, and you’ll be committing a mortal sin.

All those ancient ruins lying around

From imposing amphitheatres to grandiose villas and temples, and even the ruins of entire towns, the Bel Paese is littered with ancient sites. Who wants so much history on their doorstep like that?


You could trip over that. Why hasn't anyone cleared all this old stuff away? Photo: Iudovic Marin/AFP

Endless summer holidays

Taking a month-long vacation in August is practically mandatory for Italians and many escape the rat race by heading to the beach for sun, sand and sea on repeat. Sounds exhausting.

Wasting two hours on lunch

Traditional Italian lunches can be a long, drawn-out affair with multiple courses involving platters of cured meats, cooked vegetables and at least one type of pasta.

Even pencil pushers get out the office, forget about work and enjoy a plate of something nutritious. Other countries waste much less time: in Britain, for example, the average lunch break for office workers is an efficient 28 minutes, leaving more time to file those all-important reports.

Too much personal contact

While a handshake, nod or maybe even the briefest moment of eye contact might be the normal greeting for us Brits, Italians are more likely to greet people with a smile, hug or friendly kiss. What are they trying to hide with such open affection?


What's a reserved foreigner to do when confronted with Italy's public displays of affection? Photo: Andreas Solaro/AFP

Sticking to what's in season

Italy’s markets are lively, colourful and packed with the freshest fruit and vegetables, much of which is grown locally and often sourced from the same trusted producers year after year. Trouble is, I want strawberries in December and I don’t care how many food miles it takes.

Art overdose

Italy’s artistic heritage is vast. The Birth of Venus by Botticelli, Da Vinci’s Last Supper and Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel are just a few of the thousands of masterpieces on display.

Take care though; overdosing on art can bring on the psychosomatic disorder Florence Syndrome, which results in rapid heartbeat, dizziness and fainting.


Italy's art is so overwhelming it has a syndrome named after it. Photo: AFP

Tinnitus

From drivers honking their horns at every car and pedestrian that happens to cross their path to the local barista shouting out the orders across a crowded bar, Italy is a chaotic place.

After a short period immersed in the pandemonium, though, other countries start to seem incredibly boring. You’ll also never be able to queue patiently again.

Too many desserts

Having to choose between gelato, tiramisù, cannoli and panna cotta is just too difficult. And that’s before you even begin to think about seasonal specialties like panettone at Christmas, colomba at Easter and bignè di San Giuseppe on Father’s Day.

Your waistline will need a miracle, so you’d better start praying now.


So much tiramisù, so little time. Photo: Marco Bertorello/AFP

Unwanted guests

Shortly after any move to Italy, friends and family back home decide they want to experience la dolce vita for themselves – and you’re their ticket in. Expect uninvited guests at your door within about six months.

So much natural beauty it's unfair

The landscape of Italy is as varied as it is beautiful. Verdant countryside, steaming hot springs, gorgeous beaches, snow-capped mountain ranges and even fiery volcanoes dazzle visitors and locals alike. Quite frankly, it ruins you for other countries.

Slow food

Italy has (mostly) staved off invasion from the likes of McDonalds, KFC and Burger King, meaning diners have to put up with fast food, Italian style – namely, regional recipes and home cooking in a street food setting. Think panini stuffed with local stews or braised veggies, deep-fried goodies like supplì and arancini, or a slice of simple yet satisfying pizza.

Nice, but we know what you really want is a Big Mac and fries.


Fast food, the Italian way. Photo: Eric Parker/Flickr – CC BY-NC 2.0

An overbooked diary

You might have heard that Italians are friendly, generous and hospitable. I’m sorry to tell you that it’s all true. You’ll receive so many invitations to stay at people’s houses or join their entire family for Sunday lunch, despite having just met half an hour ago. It’s literally the worst.

Bureaucracy

OK, now that’s actually a real headache. I wouldn’t wish an appointment at the questura in mid-August on my worst enemy.

Originally from the UK, Emma Law is a freelance writer and marketing consultant based in Rome. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.

What do you think are the worst things about living in Italy (serious or otherwise)? Let us know by email or in the comments below.

Member comments

  3. Riposo!!!!! Most shops actually closed. Except the bars. Short store hours or closed on Sunday. Imagine the nerve! NO every corner Walmart. Have to use mostly local shops for specific needs (depending where you live) and figure out when they are open.
    Oh and where I get my coffee sometimes is the local bar.

  4. AGREE. Chaos abounds. Loud energetic speakers. At first I thought everyone was angry. Nope, just discussing the weather, local gossip or food.

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OPINION AND ANALYSIS

Why there are so many derelict houses in Italy – and no-one seems to care

From hilltop towns to seafront promenades, many parts of Italy are blighted by dilapidated buildings left to rot under the sun. So why don't local authorities tear them down and sell off the land? Reporter Silvia Marchetti explains.

Published: 2 April 2024 14:26 CEST
Why there are so many derelict houses in Italy - and no-one seems to care

As many remote Italian towns are desperate to sell off old abandoned buildings – some do so successfully, others struggle – foreigners are often baffled by the fact that there are still so many dilapidated properties in Italy.

In almost any village there are houses in need of repair, covered in moss and vegetation, with broken windows and doors, apparently without owners. 

The main reason why there are so many of these forsaken homes is because the original owners have long migrated to other countries in search of a brighter future, or fled following natural calamities such as earthquakes, volcanic eruptions or landslides, leaving behind empty dwellings. 

These empty buildings can sit rotting in the sun for decades, if not centuries. No one seems interested in selling them off cheaply, likely because the heirs are nowhere to be found or can’t be bothered to deal with major renovation work or labyrinthine bureaucracy.

READ ALSO: Five pitfalls to watch out for when buying an old house in Italy

Local councils and mayors, who might dream of putting these buildings up for sale for a song or even a symbolic one euro to attract new buyers and breathe new life into dying communities, have their hands tied, in most cases forever. 

Authorities can seize these abandoned properties and place them on the market only if the buildings are a threat to ‘public safety and order’, like if there is the danger that parts of the building may crumble and kill passers-by or damage nearby properties or roads.

There is currently no law in Italy that allows town halls to seize these dilapidated buildings after a set number of years, and this is frustrating for mayors eager to give the old town centres a makeover, making them more appealing to tourists and buyers.

READ ALSO: Why Italians aren’t snatching up their country’s one-euro homes

I was recently talking to a friend of mine, who was deputy mayor in a town in Basilicata, and he complained how the only instances in which he ever stepped in to seize a property were when it had already crumbled to the ground. 

There is one exception: that’s when local authorities are the direct and sole owners of a building. There are specific laws approved by governments in the past granting towns struck by natural calamities to seize the buildings for public safety. 

Photo by Ehud Neuhaus on Unsplash

In Campania, where a terrible earthquake hit the Irsina area in 1980 sending locals running for their lives, many towns now have ghost districts which have passed into the hands of councils. Many villages there, like Zungoli and Bisaccia, have in fact since been able to sell dozens of old homes for one euro or a little more.

The process was quick here because the councils owned the properties. Sambuca in Sicily, struck by the 1968 Belice Valley quake, owns dozens of abandoned buildings in the old town centre, and it has already successfully sold two batches of cheap empty homes, triggering a property stampede. 

Another major problem in Italy is ‘abusivismo’ – illegal constructions that across time have turned into what Italians call eco-monsters, buildings that mar the environment and beauty of places. 

READ ALSO: ‘Italy’s one-euro homes cost a lot more than one euro – but can be worth it’

These can be abandoned concrete buildings such as old restaurants, beach clubs, sports centres, and shops built illegally, for instance along a lungomare seaside promenade back in the 1970s-1980s, that ruin the skyline and are ‘un pugno nell’occhio’ (an eyesore; literally ‘a punch in the eye’).

Visitors from abroad may well wonder why these ugly, abandoned buildings aren’t torn down and the land sold to developers. But they are normally only seized and demolished by local authorities if there are plans to redevelop the area with new public facilities, like playgrounds, public gardens or sports centres. Otherwise no-one cares. 

The trouble is, there is no political discussion of allowing mayors to seize derelict buildings and old illegal constructions after a certain number of years, even in the absence of urban regeneration projects and immediate safety risks. 

I think the government should take the issue more seriously, particularly if it wants to support the repopulation of Italy’s old villages by allowing interested buyers to give a new life to forgotten and neglected neighbourhoods.

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