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SAUNA

Undressing at a Berlin sauna wasn’t the moment of liberation I’d hoped for

A visit to a Berlin sauna for a hen party challenges a prudish Brit’s boundaries on baring all in public.

Undressing at a Berlin sauna wasn’t the moment of liberation I’d hoped for
Photo: DPA

To my own surprise, I was disappointed to discover that my first hen party experience in Germany would be a classy affair.

Instead of indulging in strippers and inadvisable amounts of booze, we were going to Vabali, one of Berlin’s premium spas. While some might have found this a refreshing take on the famously debauched rite of passage, I wasn’t so enthusiastic.

In Germany, a trip to a spa usually involves some compulsory nudity – a prospect this Brit wasn’t all that comfortable with.

From spas to swimming pools, at parks and on the beach, Germany’s Freikörperkultur (FKK), or free body culture, is a far cry from the prudish outlook towards baring all back in Old Blighty.

Rooted in the country’s history and still widespread today, public nudity enjoys a long-held acceptance in Germany. It isn’t strange to find people sunbathing topless in the local park. Do the same in the UK and you may find yourself receiving a brisk tap on the shoulder, with warnings that the children in the vicinity might – God forbid –  see you.  

The hen do wasn’t my first brush with Germany’s relaxed outlook. As a child holidaying in Bavaria, I remember the trauma induced by the swimming pool changing rooms, where I rigidly refused to make eye contact with any of those bizarre naked people. My mum tried to put me at ease. “Nobody’s looking! This is normal – they just…aren’t fussy like that!” she had insisted in vain.

Now that I’m a fully-fledged adult, the spa trip felt like a timely opportunity to readdress the nudity question, and maybe even to understand what the Germans were on to. Having experienced moments of body dysmorphic disorder in my late teens, I suspected that the experience of being naked in public could be either cathartic or catastrophic. It was nerve-wracking, and I found myself pining for the considerably less stressful strippers-and-booze hen party alternative.

I wish I could say that unrobing by the pool for the first time that day was the moment of powerful liberation I never knew I was waiting for. But in reality, it was painfully awkward. Similar to my childhood experience of Bavarian changing rooms, I almost broke my neck in a bid to look absolutely anywhere except, accidentally, at somebody else’s genitalia.

Something about being naked in public felt so unnatural. For at least the first hour, the self-consciousness and fear of being looked at overrode what was meant to be a pleasant experience of being in the plush environment of Vabali. People wandered through the rooms freely without so much as their locker wristbands, but I was still reluctant to part with my robe.

Then we headed to the saunas. During the ten-minute sessions, there were around twenty of us packed into a tiny room in soaring temperatures, without even a towel to cover our naked bodies. It was in these saunas that I began to shake off my fears and gradually came to enjoy the freedom of being naked.

Uneven breasts, cellulite, spots in odd places; all these features typically seen as unfit for public appearance were on display, and nobody was trying to hide them. Instead, people were relaxed, sprawled out, chatting with friends. Everyone enjoying the serene, therapeutic settings, clearly not giving much thought to who could see them. Witnessing this left me comfortable enough to do the same.

At first, I couldn’t shake the fact that people might be able to see the flaws which I usually had the luxury of hiding under a craftily-fitted swimsuit. But the thing is, nobody was looking. In public spots like Vabali and indeed others where nudity is customary, naked bodies aren’t objects to be leered at, to be preened or fussed over.

By the end of the day, my concerns became less about who could see my dimples and more about how I was going to survive another ten minutes in the soaring heat of these saunas. I wouldn’t say I had rid myself of all my body insecurities for good, but the experience did show me how insignificant they could become.

The weekend after the hen party, I took a day trip to Liepnitzsee, a lake slightly north of Berlin. Many spots on the shore were frequented by those in the nude, with FKK signs nailed onto the trees around us. As my boyfriend got stuck in a complicated towel manoeuvre to avoid bearing more than a hint of thigh as he changed, I couldn’t help but laugh, before shrugging off my towel and heading straight for the water – no swimming costume necessary.

SEE ALSO: The trip back home that helped me put my Berlin woes into perspective

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LIVING IN GERMANY

Living in Germany: Battles over Bürgergeld, rolling the ‘die’ and carnival lingo

From the push to reform long-term unemployment benefits to the lingo you need to know as Carnival season kicks off, we look at the highlights of life in Germany.

Living in Germany: Battles over Bürgergeld, rolling the 'die' and carnival lingo

Deadlock looms as debates over Bürgergeld heat up 

Following a vote in the Bundestag on Thursday, the government’s planned reforms to long-term unemployment benefits are one step closer to becoming reality. Replacing the controversial Hartz IV system, Bürgergeld (or Citizens’ Allowance) is intended to be a fair bit easier on claimants.

Not only will the monthly payment be raised from €449 to €502, but jobseekers will also be given a grace period of two years before checks are carried out on the size of their apartment or savings of up to €60,000. The system will also move away from sanctions with a so-called “trust period” of six months, during which benefits won’t be docked at all – except in very extreme circumstances. 

Speaking in parliament, Labour Minister Hubertus Heil (SPD) said the spirit of the new system was “solidarity, trust and encouragement” and praised the fact that Bürgergeld would help people get back into the job market with funding for training and education. But not everyone is happy about the changes. In particular, politicians from the opposition CDU/CSU parties have responded with outrage at the move away from sanctions.

CDU leader Friedrich Merz has even branded the system a step towards “unconditional Basic Income” and argued that nobody will be incentivised to return to work. 

The CDU and CSU are now threatening to block the Bürgergeld legislation when it’s put to a vote in the Bundesrat on Monday. With the conservatives controlling most of the federal states – and thus most of the seats in the upper house – things could get interesting. Be sure to keep an eye out for our coverage in the coming weeks to see how the saga unfolds. 

Tweet of the week

When you first start learning German, picking the right article to use can truly be a roll of the “die” – so we’re entirely on board with this slightly unconventional way to decide whether you’re in a “der”, “die”, or “das” situation. (Warning: this may not improve your German.) 

Where is this?

Photo: picture alliance/dpa | Boris Roessler

Residents of Frankfurt am Main and the surrounding area will no doubt recognise this as the charming town of Kronberg, which is nestled at the foot of the Taunus mountains.

This atmospheric scene was snapped on Friday morning, when a drop in temperatures saw Kronberg and surrounding forests shrouded in autumnal fog.

After a decidedly warm start to November, the mercury is expected to drop into single digits over the weekend. 

Did you know?

November 11th marked the start of carnival season in Germany. But did you know that there’s a whole set of lingo to go along with the tradition? And it all depends on where you are. First of all, the celebration isn’t called the same thing everywhere. In the Rhineland, it’s usually called Karneval, while people in Bavaria or Saxony tend to call it Fasching. Those in Hesse and Saarland usually call it Fastnacht. 

And depending on where you are, there are different things to shout. The ‘fools call’ you’ll hear in Cologne is “Alaaf!” If you move away from Cologne, you’ll hear “Helau!” This is the traditional cry in the carnival strongholds of Düsseldorf and Mainz, as well as in some other German cities.

In the Swabian-Alemannic language region in the southwest of the country, people yell “Narri-Narro”, which means “I’m a fool, you’re a fool”. In Saarland at the French border, they shout “Alleh hopp!”, which is said to originate from the French language. 

Lastly, if someone offers you a Fastnachtskrapfe, say yes because it’s a jelly-filled carnival donut. And if you’re offered a Bützchen? It’s your call, but know that it’s a little kiss given to strangers!

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