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‘My children will have advantages in Sweden I may never have myself’

One of the paradoxes of being an immigrant is that the very things that draw us to live in another country may never be ours to fully realize and enjoy.

'My children will have advantages in Sweden I may never have myself'
I want my children to do better than me in every way. File photo: Clive Tompsett/imagebank.sweden.se

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This in itself is not a new realization for me. Before moving to Sweden, my husband and I lived and travelled in different parts of the world – both separately and as a couple. We have lived together in one another's native countries for extended periods. We both know what it's like to be immigrants.

We have also recognized that our particular situation means that no matter where in the world we choose to live, at least one of us will be an immigrant. With ample personal experience of what it means to be an immigrant – good, bad and indifferent – we have done our best to embrace our situation and make it an asset. Most significantly, we have made it an enabler of self-determination that allows us to choose where we can live our best life.

For a variety of reasons, Sweden was the place we chose, and I don't regret it for a moment, even as a I struggle at times to adapt and integrate. In a dozen or more ways, we are privileged. We live in what I believe is one of the most progressive countries in the world; a perception supported by Sweden's consistently high place in rankings of the world's best countries.

And yet, though it's also been named the best country in the world for immigrants, I am still acutely aware at times that my husband and I will probably always be viewed as “immigrants” in Sweden, even if we live here for the rest of our lives. Even, quite possibly, if we become citizens one day.

No matter how good our Swedish may become, we will still speak with noticeable foreign accents. Our misunderstanding of or inability to conform with some cultural norms may make certain social and professional relations challenging. Our professional and academic credentials and accomplishments in and from other parts of the world may always be accepted or acknowledged with reluctance. A variety of modern studies, not to mention history, bear this out.

Like most first-generation immigrants around the world, we may spend the rest of our lives in Sweden struggling to realize our full potential – both as individuals and as contributors to Swedish society.

On the other hand, the same evidence demonstrates that our children will be far less likely to experience these challenges. As second-generation immigrants, they will have access to the best of Sweden in a way we may never have ourselves.

As a parent, I celebrate this for my children's sake. Like most parents, I want my children to have the advantages and opportunities to do and be better than my husband and I in every way. This desire was one of the main reasons we chose to live in Sweden to begin with.

At the same time, I don't accept that the right to a full and productive role in society should be held in reserve.

As much as we hear about how globalization brings us closer together, my experiences as an immigrant, as well as the wife and mother of immigrants, have demonstrated to me just how superficial this transformation really is. While many people might welcome other people and cultures at arm's length via social media or under specific conditions like a holiday abroad, they may still be wholly unwilling to embrace or even accept them personally, professionally, or politically on their own turf.

The reality is that until the majority of people and policies embrace rather than mistrust different voices, backgrounds and experiences, life is always going to be “easier” for those who blend seamlessly into a society than for those who don't. Sweden, as good as it is, is no exception.

And while I don't particularly like that I will always be proverbially swimming upstream in Sweden, I recognize that the effort I put into my life here is unlikely to be substantially more than I would have put into it almost anywhere else. We have had the incredible privilege to choose where we commit this effort, and I don't regret our choice.

In fact, when I put aside my frustration and consider the reasons we came here to begin with, I believe – like many immigrants before me – that any “sacrifices” I have to make are worth it in the long run. Not least for the sake of our children and their future.

Victoria Martínez is an American historical researcher, writer and author of three historical non-fiction books. She lives in Småland county, Sweden, with her Spanish husband and their two children.

Read more from her family and history column on The Local here.

Member comments

  1. I think that is often the way. My grandparents migrated from Sweden to the USA. My grandmother worked as a maid and my grandfather as a carpenter. They made enough to put my dad thru college and he got a degree in pharmacy. My brothers and I all have graduate degrees. My immigrant grandparents were definitely not rich, but their children and grandchildren were much better off because they took the risk to leave.

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MEMBERSHIP EXCLUSIVES

Today in Denmark: A roundup of the latest news on Thursday

Find out what's going on in Denmark today with The Local's short roundup of the news in less than five minutes.

Today in Denmark: A roundup of the latest news on Thursday
A file photo of learner driver vehicles in Denmark. Photo: Henning Bagger/Ritzau Scanpix

Test used in residence applications 10 years ago may have broken rules 

A Danish language and knowledge test used between 2010 and 2012 in connection with residence applications in family reunification cases and for religious leaders may have been too difficult according to legal stipulations, newspaper Jyllands-Posten reports.

As such, some people may have been incorrectly refused a residency permit.

The test itself is still in use and is a requirement for religious leaders who wish to extend their residency in Denmark.

We’ll have more details on this in an article today.

Extended waiting times for driving tests

People hoping to pass their driving test and hit the road this summer face a longer wait than normal with driving schools struggling with a backlog of tests, broadcaster DR reports.

The queue for tests built up due to postponements caused by Covid-19 restrictions.

The National Police and police in both Copenhagen and North Zealand have in recent months been unable to live up to targets for maximum waiting times for tests, DR writes.

An effort is now being made to alleviate the problem by offering extra test slots, the two police districts both said.

Sunny weather forecast after overcast start

If you are anywhere in Denmark this morning you probably woke up to cloudy skies, but that is expected to change as the day progresses.

Temperatures, cool at the start of the day, could reach up to 22 degrees Celsius in most of the country and 25 degrees in North Jutland.

“(Clouds) will clear up more than at the moment, but there will still be quite a lot of clouds, especially over the southern and eastern parts of the country,” DMI meteorologist Bolette Brødsgaard told DR.

DMI also again urged people lighting barbecues or flaming weeds to exercise caution, with the drought index and thereby risk of wildfire moderate to high all over Denmark.

Danish researcher found unexpected response to lockdown in people with ADHD

A researcher attached to Aarhus University’s HOPE project, which looks into societal trends during the Covid-19 pandemic, found that some people with ADHD responded positively to disruption to their daily lives caused by the lockdown in Spring last year.

In some cases, the people who took part in the study had coping tools that others lacked. The findings of the research could prove beneficial for post-pandemic working environments.

Here’s our article about the research – it’s well worth a few minutes of your time.

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