So you’ve arrived in France and you’re ready to test out your French. 

But zut alors (more on this phrase soon) – what you’ve learned isn’t the same language that real-life French people actually use. 

Here’s a guide to some phrases that you could leave in your text book – or indeed in the Hollywood movies – if you want to pass as a French person. 

Zut alors

Ok, we used this phrase above, but sarcastically. The only place you’ll find this exclamation is in British tabloid headlines whenever there is a mildly shocking story about France. 

The phrase, which is an old fashioned way to say “darn” or “shoot”, is pretty much confined to use by grandmas and Asterix comics. The shorter version “zut” is used more frequently – especially by parents in front of their kids.

Sacre bleu

Here’s another one you’re much more likely to see in a British newspaper than in France. But don’t bother using it unless you’re the kind of person who says “golly gosh” in English. It has had its time.

The reason the English presume all the French say this phrase can perhaps be blamed on Agatha Christie’s fictional detective Hercule Poirot, who was very fond of the phrase. And he was Belgian anyway. 

Je voudrais… “I would like” (in restaurants and bars)

If you’ve ever studied French, you’ve possibly been told that this is the only way to ever possibly order a drink or a meal in a cafe, bar, or restaurant. 

“Je voudrais un café“, easy, right? The thing is, while the French sometimes order things like this, there are actually other ways of ordering something that are far more common. 

We stress: there’s nothing incorrect about saying “je voudrais“… but you risk standing out like a tourist, especially if your French accent is in the developmental stage. 

Try “je vais prendre“, “je prendrai“, or “je prends“. If you want to be really formal, try “Est-ce que je pourrais avoir“. 

READ ALSO What does the way you order coffee in French say about you?

Comme ci, comme ça

Literally meaning “Like this, like that”, this phrase is the text book way to respond to many questions if you want to say the equivalent of “so so” in English.

However, the phrase is used in French as seldom as “so so” is used by native English speakers. 

“French people in general don’t use it all that much… It’s true that it’s VERY present in the books,” says self-confessed “comme si, comme ça” user Camille Chevalier-Karfis, a French language expert and founder of the site FrenchToday.com

If you want to describe something as “so so”, there are alternatives: “pas top“, “sympa sans plus“, or just try a Gallic shrug. 

‘Va te faire cuire un oeuf’… and other outdated expressions

Benjamin Rey, who runs the Ilini website for language learning, warns that French slang can die quickly. 

“If I say ‘va te faire cuire un oeuf‘ (meaning ‘go away’, or literally, ‘go and cook an egg’), it will definitely sound dated. And also funny, which may be your intention. But be careful if humour isn’t your intention,” he says. 

‘Puis-je’… and other extreme formalities 

You’re going to come across as being overly formal if you’re not careful, says Rey. Once again, there’s nothing wrong with being formal at the right time – but that’s not all the time. 

“A friend told me that she asked her teacher how to say ‘I’d be grateful if you could…’. Her answer was ‘Je vous saurais gré de bien vouloir…’. This is correct, but very formal (as it would be in English).

“You should simply say ‘Est-ce que tu pourrais…’/’Pourriez-vous‘ or ‘J’aimerais que tu/vous…’ (which is more direct).”

French language expert Camille Chevalier-Karfis, founder of FrenchToday.com, says extreme formality is one of the biggest problems for her students.

“I personally never use ‘puis-je‘ – only ‘est-ce que je pourrais‘, for example,” she says. 

It’s also crucial not to talk like you would write, she says, as written French and spoken French can be quite different.

“Répétez s’il vous plaît” – Please repeat that

While some phrase books might tell you to use this phrase when you don’t understand something, do it with caution. 

“The basic ‘répétez s’il vous plaît‘ should be avoided unless you didn’t hear well the first time around,” says French language expert Camille Chevalier-Karfis.

“When you say ‘repeat please’, the person will just repeat exactly the same thing.”

“Furthermore, ‘répétez‘ is an order, it’s a bit harsh for everyday situations. Say something like ‘désolé, je n’ai pas bien compris‘ (‘Sorry, I didn’t quite get it’) which will encourage the person to rephrase their sentence.”

Mais non!

It’s easy to use “Mais non !” incorrectly, says Chevalier-Karfis.

“We do use it in French, but not at the end of each sentence… Actually it’s quite a strong negation, usually showing an emotion such as surprise, shock or total disagreement.”

“Same goes with ‘mais oui‘ which is like ‘why, yes, of course’ giving the impression that what was said was super obvious.”

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