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GERMAN LANGUAGE

10 German words with hilarious literal translations

When you literally translate German words into English, you often get some pretty funny results. Can you guess what these ten direct translations really mean?

10 German words with hilarious literal translations
A skunk eating from an Easter egg at the Hanover zoo. Photo: DPA

It may be a tricky language to master, but one of the great things about German is that you don’t actually need a particularly large vocabulary. That’s because, rather than inventing new words, Germans are big fans of creating compound words out of existing ones.

A simple example of this is the German for compound word Wortzusammensetzung (word-together-setting). Sometimes the meanings are obvious, while others are a little harder to grasp…

1. Brustwarze – breast wart

The German language doesn’t mess around when it comes to body parts. Brustwarze literally translates as “breast wart”, and yes, it means nipple.

It may seem crude to name such a sensuous part of the body after a viral growth, but, hey, whatever makes sense to Germans.

And it’s not the only term for a body part that sounds a little grim. Zahnfleisch (tooth-meat) means gums.

2. Liebfraumilch – beloved lady milk

While we’re on the subject of breasts, this German wine appears to be a rather saucy reference to the teat of the Virgin Mary.

Liebfraumilch is a semi-sweet white German wine that dates back to the mid 1700s. Translated from German, the name means ”Beloved Lady’s Milk” and refers to the Virgin Mary. We guess that naming a wine after the milk that nurtured the baby Jesus is praise indeed.

The name was initially given to the wine produced from the vineyards of the Liebfrauenkirche or “Church of our Lady” in Germany’s Rhine region. Nowadays Liebfraumilch is produced mainly for export.

3. Handschuhe – hand shoe

Moving on from our body to what we dress it in, Germans also like to keep the language absurdly simple. Why have a completely new word for things we put our hands in, when they are really just shoes for your hands? What do gloves and mittens even mean anyway?

Then there is the German word for a brassiere. Isn’t that just something for propping up your boobs? So it’s simpler to call it a Büstenhalter, (bust-holder) right? Even if that does make it sound a touch perverted.

4. Klobrille – toilet glasses

Photo: Pexels / Wikimedia Commons

We’ve all been there. That first house meeting with our German flatmates when the topic of cleaning comes up. How many of you were left wracking your brains at what on earth these dirty Klobrille (toilet glasses) could be?

While you might at first guess that this is some strange device Germans use to help inspect every inch of the toilet bowl, it actually just means loo seat. Don’t worry, Germans aren’t that fussy about cleanliness!

5. Stinktier – stink animal

This one is beautifully blunt and gives you the impression that, when it came to naming animals in Germany, kids got to do it rather than scientists.

What’s that animal that smells bad? A skunk you say? But isn’t “stink animal” so much more accurate?

That thing that’s like a snail but hasn’t got a shell… yeah the one English people call a slug. Let’s call that a naked snail (Nacktschnecke).

And the one that spends the whole day eating – the wolverine – let’s name that the eat-a-lot (Vielfraß).

6. Eselsbrücke – donkey’s bridge

Photo: DPA

The meaning of the word “donkey’s bridge” certainly isn’t obvious, but it’s a lot more approachable than our word for it – “a mnemonic device”. What a mouthful.

A mnemonic device is just a trick you invent to help you remember something. The German word actually comes from the Latin term “pons asinorum” (bridge of donkeys) that refers to a point that people find hard to remember.

7. Donnerbalken – thunder beam

The word Donnerbalken is surely one that makes any of us too young to have done military service rue the day it was abolished. Originally the term was for a communal military latrine, but it is now often used in slang to refer to the toilet.

Literally thunder beam, it’s close to the English slang term “thunderbox”. It doesn’t need much explaining – “beam” refers to the seat-like bar, and the “thunder” you can probably figure out for yourselves.

8. Durchfall – through fall

Another scatological one, and one which leaves little to the imagination. It means diarrhoea, and translates as “through-fall”.

You might recoil in disgust, but then what does “diarrhoea” mean? It comes from the Greek, and it also means to “through-flow”. So we Anglophones aren’t much better, but we just don’t know our own language very well.  

9. Wildpinkler – wild pee-er

A Wildpinkler at Ulm Minster. Photo: DPA

Let’s flush down one more toilet-related word. In fact, this one describes someone who avoids the toilet. Literally a “wild-pee-er”, a Wildpinkler is someone who likes to relieve themselves outside.

It might sound harmless, but only last month, it was revealed that wild pee-ers were eroding the ancient walls of Ulm Minster church, a building which boasts the tallest spire in the world.

So maybe you should find a Klobrille or at least a Donnerbalken next time nature calls.

10. Dudelsack – yodel sack

Photo: DPA

English has also gone for a literal one here. But bagpipes is an awfully diplomatic description for a bag that emits a seemingly random sequence of twiddly sounds while a stocky Scot goes red in the face. 

Germans cut to the chase and named the instrument the Dudelsackwhich means the bag that tootles or yodels.

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GERMAN LANGUAGE

Gendern: Why German speakers get fired up over gender-neutral language

This word has all to do with how to use German sensitively - but that doesn't always mean it doesn't rub people the wrong way. So what do both sides of the argument have to say about 'gendern', and why is it so controversial?

Gendern: Why German speakers get fired up over gender-neutral language

Why do I need to know gendern?

Because you’re bound to see this discussion crop up fairly often in German-speaking countries like Austria, and it’s useful to know where you stand in the debate so that you make decisions about how you use the German language. 

What does it mean?

As you might have recognised, gendern is a verb built out of the English word “gender”. To gender someone – or gendern in German – is to make an assessment of their gender identity, usually by defining them as either male or female.

As in English, this creates a bit of a linguistic issue when it comes to describing people in various professions. Traditionally, people often referred to a male actor as an actor and a female actor as an actress, and if they didn’t know the gender or were speaking generally, the male version (actor) was used as the default. Over time, however, it’s become standard practice to simply use gender neutral terms like police officer, firefighter, and so on, and it’s also perfectly possible to talk about a “judge”, “teacher” or “painter” without specifying a gender. 

In German, however, the issue isn’t quite so simple. Generally, although some gender-neutral forms to describe certain groups exists (i.e. Studierende rather than Student/-in), these are far from the norm, and due to the gendered nature of definite articles, it can be very difficult to speak in a gender-neutral way. In recent years, this has led to a debate on how best to talk about the world around us without creating the impression that certain jobs, professions or groups of people only consist of men. 

When used in German, therefore, gendern describes the practice of trying to make both genders visible in your speech – which will often involve adding the female form or female plural form (i.e. -in or -innen) in some way alongside the male one. However, even when it comes to finding the supposedly right way to gendern, even academics and linguists can’t quite agree on what that is.

What are my options when it comes to gendern?

There are many options in German for trying to speak in a gender neutral way – and even Duden, a standard High German dictionary, says people should be free to pick the one that suits them best.

One option is to use a pause while speaking and an asterisk, colon or underscore while writing, i.e. Schauspieler:innen (actors), Bauer*innen, (farmers) or Forscher_innen (researchers). The idea here is not only to consider both male and female genders, but also acknowledge people with a less clear-cut gender identity by adding the asterisk or space of some kind. However, it’s worth pointing out that this practice – and particularly the so-called Gendersternchen, or gender star / asterisk – does have its critics.

In fact, current Chancellor Karl Nehammer (ÖVP) intends to ban using the gender star in public administration in Austria, an announcement made ahead of the 2024 election campaign. Even if enacted though, private businesses would be free to use it.

So it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use it if you want to, but there are other options, such as:

  • Finding an alternative, gender-neutral formulation (i.e. Reinigungskräften instead of Putzfrauen)
  • Using a simple dash and/or a forward-slash (i.e. Polizist/-in)
  • Mentioning both genders alongside each other (i.e. Freunden und Freundinnen) 
  • Swapping between the genders while speaking 
  • Using either the male or female form as a generic term (a little like in English) 

If you want to simplify your speech or writing while still being politically correct, another option is to use an abbreviation in brackets after spelling something out the first time. For example, if you’re talking about lawyers you could say Anwalte und Anwältinnen and then add (AuA) to make it clear you’ll be using that abbreviation from now on.  

Others, meanwhile, simply say it makes speech clunky and doesn’t usually follow correct grammatic rules of the German language.

However, proponents of gendern argue that language has a profound impact on the way we think and see the world, and that making a small change to how we speak is a major step to a more inclusive and socially just world. For example, if a young girl grows up only hearing the male form of GP (Hausarzt), they argue, she may get the impression that this profession is only appropriate for men. If, on the hand, both genders are made visible, this can boost her self-esteem and her vision of what can be possible. 

READ ALSO: Austrian court moves to recognise third gender

Use it like this:

Es herrscht mal wieder eine Debatte über das Gendern in den Medien. 

There’s one again a debate about gendering in the media.

Meine Meinung nach ist gendern mehr sozial gerecht. 

In my opinion, gendering is more socially just.

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