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APRIL FOOLS' DAY

APRIL FOOL

Sweden’s silliest April Fools’ Day tricks

Alcohol is set to be sold in a Swedish supermarket, buses are introducing 'selfie zones' and Malmö football club's new grass contains cannabis, if you believe the country's newspapers. Here's The Local's round-up of this year's April Fool gags.

Sweden's silliest April Fools' Day tricks
Could Swedish supermarket shelves look like this? Photo: TT
1. Supermarket to trial selling alcohol
 
If you live in Sweden you'll know that apart from a few low alcohol beers and ciders, alcohol is absent from grocery stores and only available at state-run Systembolaget branches. So you can imagine the joy that readers of the NSD paper felt when they were told that the Luleå branch of supermarket chain ICA was going to be the first in the country to experiment with selling British gin. The paper reported that specially-trained staff would sell the spirit over the counter.
 
 
2. Ice Hotel renamed to avoid Isis links
 
A bad taste report in Nyheter24 suggested that Sweden's Ice Hotel was being renamed to avoid confusion with the militant Islamist group Isis, also known as IS. The news site suggested that Snow Star Hotel would be its new title. While this joke might seem far fetched, Swedish police recently got caught out by some 21st birthday balloons that they thought were IS propaganda.
 
 
3. Malmö gets wrong type of grass for pitch
 
Southern Swedish regional paper Skanska Dagbladet wrote that new grass for Malmö's football ground purchased from the Netherlands included cannabis seeds, which were now growing into plants and damaging the pitch. Journalists speculated on how to resolve the crisis ahead of the start of Sweden's top football league, Allsvenskan, which gets underway on April 9th.The story wasn't so far away from a real event four years ago when mould spread across the pitch at Trelleborg FF, forcing them to play their first home game away.
 
 
4. Selfie ban on buses
 
Swedish bus company Swebus announced that it was banning selfies in common areas on buses, after some passengers disrupted drivers with their behaviour. The company said it would instead allocate a several special 'selfie' seats per bus where people could take photos of themselves or with others.
 
 
5. Banking happy hours
 
With interest rates at record lows in Sweden, newspaper Dagens Industri joked that customers could be charged "the price of a cinema ticket" for meetings with banking staff, as part of fresh efforts from banks to generate income. The paper said that banks would offer "happy hour" periods at discounted rates. The move was said to have been arranged as an alternative to closing branches.
 
 
6. The Swedish Viking town using a Scottish sound
 
Here at The Local we reported that the way Swedes say 'no' is slightly different in one isolated town in the south of the country, where many Vikings settled in the 10th century after returning from Scotland. We went to Åkeby in Kalmar to investigate why the strange, Scottish-sounding phrase 'ach nae' had stuck around for centuries and interviewed a renowned linguistics professor from Stockholm university. Our story was retweeted by members of the Scottish National Party and lingustics forums. But the town doesn't exist and neither does the expression.
 
 
All photos: TT

ROYAL

Kaiser to rule again from Berlin

In a shock decision, the German government announced on Wednesday that it had asked civil servants to re-draft the constitution to restore the monarchy.

Kaiser to rule again from Berlin
The Berliner Stadtschloss (city palace) in 1904. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Did you fall for our April Fool's Day prank?

We regret to announce that the following article was completely the product of our journalists' fervid imaginations, and does not, in fact, represent real events that took place.

“We've been so inspired by our British friends and their unparalleled system of constitutional monarchy that we want to achieve the same for ourselves,” Chancellor Angela Merkel told an extraordinary session of the Bundestag [German parliament].

The changes mean that come the next election in 2017, Merkel will drive from her modernist, cuboid office opposite the Bundestag to the newly-rebuilt Imperial Palace (Kaiserliches Schloss) at the other end of Unter den Linden in a horse-drawn carriage, to ask the new Kaiser to grant a dissolution of parliament.

Originally intended to serve as a historical art gallery, the rebuilt Schloss will instead become the permanent residence of the monarch.

As well as bringing the German constitution up to date with the British, Germany also hopes to boost tourist revenue with the move.

“We all know that no-one would visit Britain's castles, cities and monuments if they didn't know there was a chance the Queen might show up at any moment,” Anton Falschmann of the German Tourist Board said.

“A new Kaiser in Germany could draw millions more tourists every year in the hope of catching sight of him.”

Germany will also issue new Euro coins bearing the monarch's profile, while Deutsche Post will begin a new series of commemorative stamps featuring the Kaiser in equestrian poses.

The offical name of the country will be changed to the Imperial Republic of Germany.

The man who would be king

The current head of the House of Hohenzollern, Georg Friedrich Ferdinand Prinz von Preußen, is the most sought-after candidate to ascend to the German throne.

But the 38-year-old prince is understood to be reluctant to take up the post, saying that it “didn't work out too well for great-great-grandpa” Wilhelm II the last time the family was in charge.

Some politicians have mooted instead marrying the ancient tradition of the monarchy with a newer German passion, reality television.

A high-stakes “Germany seeks its Kaiser” – rather than the traditional “Germany seeks its Super-Star” – would likely be the highest-rated television show in German history.

Advocates hope that it could raise the initial funds needed to set up the royal household.

SEE ALSO: 'Germany needs the moral guidance of a monarchy'

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