SHARE
COPY LINK
For members

LIVING IN AUSTRIA

Verdict: Nine things to know before dating an Austrian

An article on The Local noted the fact that almost one third of Austrians are single, and seemed to hit a nerve amongst our readers, with many writing in to tell us about their experience of relationships with Austrian men and woman - both good and bad. Here's a list of nine things to know before dating an Austrian.

A couple hold hands as they share dinner and a glass of wine in Austria. Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash
A couple hold hands as they share dinner and a glass of wine in Austria. Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash

Discounting some of the more bitter responses – “weird and psychotic” or “hard work and volatile” we have put together a list of nine things which might help you understand the Austrian psyche before you embark on a date.

Reserved and conservative

This is maybe why so many of you have told us that it’s hard to meet an Austrian in the first place.

One French reader, Valerie, says Austrian men don’t know the first thing about seduction, and she misses flirtation and men making eye contact with her on the street. Plus, Austrians tend to be…

Shy and not that good at flirting

Katia Farias, a Brazilian journalist and blogger who lives in Vienna and has been married to an Austrian for five years says he is “funny, loyal, and kind” but warns that it may take some perseverance to snag your Austrian man as they are hopeless at flirting and tend to give off an “I’m not interested” signal.

This, she says, is the opposite of Brazilian men, who are pros at flirting but tend to be macho and unfaithful. This is where it can be handy to learn some German – Austrians often don’t want to look stupid and may be shy about speaking English – so learning a few cheesy chat up lines like “Ich möchte dich nicht dumm anmachen, aber ich hätte nichts dagegen, wenn du es tust” could be a game changer.

At ease with public displays of affection

But once you’ve met your Austrian, it seems they won’t be embarrassed about kissing and cuddling you in public. (And this can seem a little strange, or wonderful, to people from more reserved cultures, like the UK, where excessive PDA tends to be frowned upon.)

Quicker to become physically intimate

Despite that initial shyness apparently Austrians are more willing than some more conservative cultures to move on from the kissing and the cuddling and into the bedroom. 

With less stigma surrounding one night stands – particularly for women – you might be surprised when this initial shyness turns to lust. 

Honest – sometimes brutally so

That outfit makes your bum look big. That haircut wasn’t a good idea. Your constant whinging isn’t fun for those around you.

Don’t worry, your Austrian partner is likely to tell you this in no uncertain terms.

While the honesty can be difficult to stomach early on, ultimately it is for your own good. Several readers have told us this honesty is rather refreshing.

Could well be a smoker

Statistics show that Austria has a high rate of smokers, especially among younger women, and only two in five smokers have tried to quit the habit. “It’s hard to meet a girl here who doesn’t smoke like a chimney. As a former smoker, it’s a real turn-off”, says Brit Chris.

Possible commitment ‘phobes’

At least that is what some of you have said, including Indian expat Dhruti, despite that fact that she is engaged to an Austrian.

She feels that many Austrian men are afraid of long-term relationships and taking on the responsibility of a family – as well as the prospect of having to share their income with their spouse.

Other readers have told us that they’ve been surprised by just how long the dating phase lasts, with some being told not to use the words boyfriend or girlfriend even after six months. 

Well mannered… usually

Austrians tend to be well-educated and polite – and men like to be chivalrous, holding open doors for a woman and helping her with her coat. Most guys will want to pay for dinner on the first date… but take your purse with you just in case.

And last but not least the “Viennese Waltz”. 

This type of Austrian comes with a health warning. We first heard about them from one of our readers, who we fear may have experienced a bad break-up recently: “They’re attractive, smart and funny… but if you bite the bait, oh boy! Yesterday they loved you, the next day they’re not interested, soon they’re pretending they can’t remember your name and then they’re cheating on you. Six months later they are back and crying that you are the love of their life.”

Ouch. However, we rather suspect this is a type of toxic relationship that exists in every culture. What do you think?

From our other editions:

If, on the other hand, you’re looking for love in another of The Local’s countries then we have plenty more tips for you.

The Local France: How to date a Frenchman and How to date a French woman

The Local Switzerland: Ten tips for finding true love in Switzerland

The Local Norway: 12 tips on how to snag a Norwegian

The Local Germany: Five reasons you should date a German (and five not to)

The Local Italy: Five reasons to date an Italian (and five not to)

The Local Sweden: Five reasons to date a Swede (and five not to)

The Local Spain: Dos and Don’ts when dating a Spanish woman and Ten golden rules for snagging a Spanish man

Member comments

Log in here to leave a comment.
Become a Member to leave a comment.
For members

POLITICS

EXPLAINED: Austria wants to define its fundamental culture but what is it?

Politicians from Austria's centre-right ÖVP are putting together a definition of Austria's 'guiding culture', known in German as 'Leitkultur'. What is that and why are they doing it?

EXPLAINED: Austria wants to define its fundamental culture but what is it?

When you think of Austria, your first thoughts might be of Alpine hills, Schnitzel and traditional folk music. 

Is this what politicians are referring to when they talk about Austrian ‘Leitkultur’ or ‘leading or guiding culture’? 

Many in Austria are considering this question because the coalition government is honing in on this concept. 

Austria’s Integration Minister Susanne Raab, of the centre-right Austrian People’s Party (ÖVP), has been tasked by chancellor Karl Nehammer (ÖVP) to develop a legal definition of ‘Austrian guiding culture’.

It’s part of the “Austria Plan” that Nehammer presented earlier this year when he called for a “guiding Austrian culture by 2030, which should also be reflected in law as a national cultural asset”.

READ ALSO: ‘Austria Plan’ – What are the chancellor’s new plans for the country?

Raab said it should ensure “that symbols and behaviours that contradict our fundamental values can be treated in a legally differentiated manner”.

However, this topic has been the subject of heated debate with critics accusing politicians of using it to alienate immigrants, particularly asylum seekers and refugees.There is a fear that the ‘Leitkultur’ concept goes against multiculturalism and calls on people to conform to one ‘guiding culture’ without an acceptance of other ways of life outside western culture. 

The concept is not just a talking point in Austria – it’s also been discussed heavily in neighbouring Germany for years, particularly by centre-right and far-right parties. 

How is Austria planning to define Leitkultur?

The Austrian government says it wants to define a concept of national cultural heritage in law over the next six years. 

As a first step, the Integration Minister has brought together a panel of experts who will meet on Thursday.

Under the banner “Austrian identity and guiding culture: values of coexistence”, the first meeting will be an introductory exchange, according to Raab’s office. The minister will outline her approach to the topic before the discussion, Austrian newspaper Der Standard reported.

The panel includes Katharina Pabel, a lawyer from Linz, Rainer Münz, who worked for Erste Bank and advised Jean-Claude Juncker as President of the EU Commission and Wolfgang Mazal, a professor at the Institute for Labour and Social Law at the University of Vienna.

What is Austrian ‘guiding culture’?

In an interview with Der Standard before the meeting, Mazal said the initial discussion “should serve to find a consensus in society about what is important to us and what form of coexistence we should cultivate”. He added that the ‘Leitkultur’ debate should be a “process of reflection”.

Mazal does not share the criticism of the term – in his view, it is not about placing one culture above others. Similar to the mission statement of a company, a “guiding culture” should define the “fundamental direction” of a society, he said. 

But the ÖVP’s communication has been more rigid. Secretary General Christian Stocker, for instance, recently explained in a Facebook video that Austrian identity is “what defines us”. This goes “from A to Z”, for example from brass band music to the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra. “How we celebrate our festivals and holidays” is also part of our identity, he said. And “anyone who doesn’t want to accept all that is welcome to leave”, he made clear.

Overall, the People’s Party is focussing the debate very strongly on the topic of migration. Stocker says, for example, in the context of his comments on identity, that those “who have come to us” have done so voluntarily. “They have chosen this country and therefore they must also accept how we live in this country, what tradition and identity we have.”

In social media posts, Der Standard notes that the party states things like: “Anyone who believes that they should not shake a woman’s hand because she is ‘unclean’ must leave.” Or: “Anyone who rejects our way of life must leave!” 

Integration a key component 

Integration Minister Susanne Raab (ÖVP) told the Kronen Zeitung earlier this year that the concept was centred on integration. 

“Integration means learning the language, going to work and also accepting the values of our coexistence,” she said.

“And that is relevant because many people come to us who have been socialised completely differently. Where the culture is completely different, where women are worth less than men, where girls have no access to education and are forced into marriage or where the police are not your friend and helper, but highly corrupt. All of this is important to convey. And this is where immigrants also have to adapt.”

Raab added that it was possible for someone who did not adapt to face sanctions. 

“Yes, there will be measures that can be implemented in law, Raab told the newspaper, suggesting that could include cuts to social benefits, for example, or negative influences in the citizenship procedure or to asylum status.

The minister gave the example of when refugees come to Austria they have to take a German and values course as well as sign a declaration of integration otherwise there is a risk of having social benefits cut. The ÖVP is also currently considering further sanctions. 

Whatever the case, it is clear that the ÖVP is pushing for more integration measures in Austria, which is something they have been doing consistently. 

READ ALSO: Austrian minister wants foreigners to improve German levels to keep social benefits

SHOW COMMENTS