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FRENCH LANGUAGE MYTHS

FRENCH

‘Sacre bleu!’ Do the French really say that?

Do the French really say "sacre bleu!" or "zut alors!" when they want to curse? Or is it just a myth Anglos and their media have engineered? And if they don't use them then what do the French really say when they want to swear?

'Sacre bleu!' Do the French really say that?
"Sacrebleu! Zut alorsù! Mon Dieu!, how many of these do the French really say? Photo: Shutterstock

Every time something bad happens in France, whether the wine harvest is down or a president has been caught with his pants down you can almost be guaranteed some English news site (normally the Daily Mail), somewhere, will start their headline with the words “Sacre Bleu!”

Or if it’s not “Sacre Bleu!” (actually written “sacrebleu” in French) it will be “zut alors!” or perhaps even “Mon Dieu!”.

It seems the equivalent would be French news sites starting articles about British PM David Cameron’s beach strip and the like with the words “Golly Gosh!” or “Heavens above!”, except we don’t see that too much.

This raises the question, does anyone in France actually use terms like “Sacre Bleu”? And if not then what do the French really say when they want to express shock or air their frustrations.

We take a closer look.

Sacrebleu!

Sacrebleu is a stereotypical and very old fashioned French curse, which is rarely used by the French these days. An English equivalent would be “My Goodness!” or “Golly Gosh!” It was once considered very offensive.

It literally means “sacred blue,” but it comes from “sacré Dieu” or “sacred God.” “Bleu” was used by people to replace “Dieu” in order to avoid the blasphemy of explicitly using the name of God.

Even grand-parents don’t really say it anymore, but you will probably find it used in French novels from the 19th and early 20th century.

The reason the English presume all the French say sacrebleu! can perhaps be blamed on Agatha Christie’s fictional Belgian detective Hercule Poirot, who was very fond of the phrase.

Zut alors !

This is another expression you’ll probably have heard said in more English than French. It’s an old fashioned soft curse that is often translated as “darn” or “shoot”. The “alors” is added on to give it extra emphasis except it has lost its power over the years. Like “sacrebleu”, “zut alors” has pretty much disappeared, or at least among the younger generation and you’ll likely draw a few smirks or strange glances if you use it these days.

The shorter version “zut” is however used more frequently used and won’t get you into trouble.

Mon Dieu!

The “oh my god” of French is another one that seems more common in English than in French, however unlike “sacrébleu” and “zut alors”, you’ll still hear it being said in France these days, although perhaps so much not among the younger generation.

For a secular country like France, “Mon Dieu!” has proved to be a popular way of expressing anger or shock over the years, although probably not among the more traditionally Catholic population.

Bon sang !

This is what parents or grandparents will often utter when they get angry with their children. “Bon sang” expresses angry disbelief and can perhaps be translated as “good grief” or for heaven's sake”. “Bon sang! Why would you do that?” “Bon sang! What were you thinking?” Again, it's not really for the younger generation but it is seen as a “sweet curse”.

Oh la vache !

What does a cow have to do with anything? This expression, which is widely used, is actually a bit like “holy cow” in English.

You use it to express your disbelief, your surprise or your pain. Everyone says it, especially to react to an incredible or surprising story that they have just heard. For example you might hear “Oh la vache, c’est vrai”?!

Merde!

Now we’re getting to the more popular curse words in French. “Merde”, meaning “shit!”, of course, is one of the most common curses in the French language that parents desperately try not to teach their children, but it is a lost cause, just like in English.

When they complain, French people naturally punctuate their sentences with “merde” or its longer version “merde alors”, so you’ll probably hear it more a few times a day.

Putain

Among young French people, “putain” is so common, it may even be used as often as the word “oui”. And it packs a serious punch, with the nearest equivalent in English probably being “f**k!”. It can be used to express anger, but can also be used to describe something amazing (“C’est un putain d’artiste!”). And it's not one to use around your in-laws. it comes from the word “pute” meaning “whore”.

Despite its obvious offensiveness, “Putain” is used by pretty much everyone, to say anything, anywhere. It's not to be confused with “Putin”, who is the strongman president of Russia. To use a more polite version of “putain”, or if there are children around, French people often transform it into “purée!” (literally “mash!”), just as they are uttering the word.

Fais chier/ça me soûle!

Another quite common curse word is “fais chier!” is the perfect way to tell the world how annoyed you are (or ca me fait chier) and usually you have to scream it, otherwise it loses all its charms. It basically means some thing along the lines of “it pisses me off”. A more polite version is “ça me soûle” (literally “it gets me drunk”), which is very often used by teenagers, especially during fights with their parents.

by Lea Surugue

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LANGUAGE AND CULTURE

How (and when) to swear like a German

We are certainly not advocating the use of these words, but they are important to know (in case anyone uses them against you). Here are some of the German words you certainly shouldn’t use with elderly in-laws.

How (and when) to swear like a German
"Are you talking to me?" Photo: DPA

Geil

We’ll start with a word so common you’ve probably even heard some embarrassing politicians use it as they try to get down wid da kids

Geil is used to mean “cool” or “wow”. To show extreme approval, you can draw it out and say guy-el. The word literally means “horny”. It is often used in the following phrase “ej, du geile Sau”, which is a pretty crude way of telling someone you find them attractive (hey, you horny pig).

Our advice: be careful with this word! As common as “geil” is in everyday slang, it could still cause your conservative father-in-law to choke on his Lebkuchen during Christmas dinner.

READ ALSO: Nerdy flowers to alcoholic birds: the 12 most colourful German insults

Kruzifix!

This one is a shout out to all the old Bavarian men out there. “Kruzifix!” or “Sakrament!” is something you shout out in pain in the southern state if you’ve stubbed a toe or accidentally hit your finger with a hammer.

Our rule: don’t scream this word out in the presence of a priest. Avoid using on Sundays.

Mist

Here is a classic German joke for you: An American tourist driving through the German countryside is lost. He pulls up at a farm and shouts to the nearest farm hand “Hey Mister, I need some help.” The puzzled farmhand replies “Ich bin nicht der Mister, ich bin der Melker.”

The joke being – a Mekler is someone who milks the cows. A Mister would theoretically be someone he cleans out the Mist, the manure.

The word Mist, which you mutter when something has gone wrong, literally dung, is even an acceptable word for children to use and is equivalent to “flip or “darn it” in English.

Our advice: one to avoid if you’re trying to impress teenagers, otherwise safe.

Leck mich!

This is an abbreviated version of a sentence that is just a bit too rude to appear in a news publication of our standing.

It means “lick me.” Let’s put it this way, it’s not a sexy invitation to someone to lick chocolate from your chest. It refers instead to a less appetising brown substance and essentially means “f*** off!”

We don’t know what Baden-Württemberg’s former culture minister, Gabriele Warminski-Leitheußer, was saying here… but we’re pretty sure we know what she means. Photo: DPA

Schattenparker!

This word belongs to the fantastic German tradition of making up insults to throw at people based on perceived cowardly behaviour.

A Schattenparker is literally someone who parks in a shadow. Sensible behaviour, one might think. Not to the hardy German though – parking in shadow proves you can’t take the heat.

Famed members of this very manly collection are Warmduscher (warm showerer) and Frauenversteher (woman understander) – even if these should not exactly be insults. You can make up just about anything to add to the list, as this website proves.

Our advice: throw in a few original ones at Christmas dinner and German relatives will be cooing at the progress you’re making in German.

Vollpfosten

This word is the equivalent to the English expression “as thick as two planks.” You use it to insult someone’s intelligence “Ej, du Vollpfosten”, which means “hey, thicko”, or literally “you big pole”.

Our advice: One to keep in your arsenal if a driver cuts you off on your cycle to work and then fails to apologise.

“Ey, du Vollpfosten!” Photo: DPA

Scheiße

We all know the German word for shit, but one of its most appealing qualities is the fact that you can stick it to the front of just about any noun to indicate disapproval. “Der Scheißkerl” means “that arsehole”, but you can add it to anything, really. Scheißwetter, Scheißaufgabe, Scheißauto… the possibilities are endless.

Our advice: have fun with this one.

Arschkalt

A seasonally relevant one to end things. Literally “arse cold” – we’re not really sure why – but it’s a good way to hate on the long, grey German winter.

Our advice: will go down well with a Berliner if you want to show you’ve got a bit of Schnauze.

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