Europe's news in English

COPY LINK

LOVE

Top ten tips for planning a Swedish wedding

Bouquets, rings, the bride taking the groom's name...? Sweden is the country where the church has publicly said it disapproves of fathers walking brides down the aisle. The Local's soon-to-be-wed-to-a-Swede Patrick Reilly gives us his top ten tips for planning a wedding in Sweden without going insane.

Published: 17 July 2013 10:30 CEST

Top ten tips for planning a Swedish wedding

Marriage may not be as common a ritual in Sweden as it is in other countries but there are still an estimated 50,000 of them a year. Recent legislation allowing same-sex marriage means that number is likely to only increase in future.

Getting hitched to a Swede in their native country means you are going to be exposed to some bizarre rituals, particularly if you are a foreigner yourself. There’s the tradition of the bride carrying coins in her shoes, a silver one from her father and a gold one from her mother to ensure she never goes without.

Remember Aislegate? That’s when the Swedish church went out and complained in public about Crown Princess Victoria wanting her daddy, the king, to walk her down the aisle, which they said was a patriarchal non-Swedish tradition (one wonders if before mentioned princess had watched a few too many bad US rom-coms?). In Sweden, the bride and groom walk down the aisle together… or the bride and bride, or groom and groom, and let’s see what trios and quartets end up aisle-meandering if the polygamy-friendly Centre Party ever gets into power.

IN PICTURES: Top ten things to keep in mind when getting hitched in Sweden

Swedes also buck the trend of some customs associated with weddings like the rings or throwing the bouquet. The Local’s Patrick Reilly has compiled a list of the top 10 things you need to know if you are planning on tying the knot in Sweden (and some info if you’re just attending one).

Patrick Reilly

Follow Patrick on Twitter here

Member comments

Log in here to leave a comment.

Become a Member to leave a comment.

Getting married in Norway in the age of coronavirus

Lorelou Desjardins and her fiancé Ionut. Photo: Lorelou Desjardins

Here's her article on dating in the age of coronavirus for her Frog in the Fjord blog (although obviously she is not actually dating herself.

No party

“We were supposed to have a big party, which had to be postponed because we could not ensure the one-metre distance, even though we were ready to downsize the number of guests,” she says.

Neither Lorelou nor her fiancé have been able to get any of their families and friends over for the ceremony (perhaps fittingly for someone who blogs about the differences between Norwegian and 'Latin' dating culture, she's ended up with Ionut, a Romanian).

Only 12 people are allowed into Oslo's Rådhuset (City Hall) for the main event (which is nonetheless good news for the happy couple, as in March it closed for weddings completely).

Lorelou said Norwegian friends were wary when she said she planned to hold the party at a rented venue, asking whether she planned to invite more than the permitted 20 people.

“I had people saying they weren't coming to my wedding because I wasn't able to respect the one-metre rule,” she said. “Many Norwegians respect government regulations to the letter, usually to protect their loved-ones who are at high risk due to current sickness or old age.”

To reassure them, she has decided to hold the party in an Indian restaurant, which follows the guidelines agreed between the government and the restaurant industry.

The restaurant has asked them to split the 12 or so guests into three tables and to sign a paper confirming that each group of four lives in the same household.

The waiting staff will wear masks and each set of cutlery is reserved for different groups of guests.

The couple had wanted to bring in a special cake from a French patisserie, but could not get permission.

“Because of contamination risks they cannot accept that I take a cake from outside into the restaurant,” she explains.

Desjardins, however, is at least in the fortunate position of having a fiancé in Norway.

Also, because she and Ionut have a four-month-old baby, their wedding planning has been very last minute, so they didn't have any major bookings to cancel.

For them the big party will probably happen next year.

For many other foreigners, however, lavishly planned weddings have been cancelled completely.

Adeel Zahid hopes to marry his fiancé at a Muslim ceremony at the Dream Selskapslokal in Oslo. Photo: Dream Selskapslokaler.

No parents

Adeel Zahid, a German citizen with a Pakistani background, hopes to marry his Norwegian fiancé, who has a similar background, on July 18th.

As an EEA citizen, he is allowed to enter Norway, and with gatherings of 200 people now possible, the wedding is technically feasible.

However, under the UDI's new rules, his parents will not be able to enter, which he says makes an Islamic marriage impossible.

“We want our parents to participate along with me as I am the only child of my parents and we live in the same household,” he says. “Marriage is a once in a lifetime event and without parents the marriage is not possible.”

He says his parents are willing to go into quarantine for ten days on arrival in Norway, or to come only for two days around the ceremony.

But the Norwegian authorities are replying to his emails by simply sending a link to the Q&A section on the UDI's website.

“Why is it allowed for the bride or groom to arrive in Norway alone and not for his or her parents?” he asks.

Ida Marie Rygg and her American fiancé Luke DeBoer. Photo: Private

No groom

Ida Marie Rygg has been planning to marry her American fiancé Luke DeBoer for two years, with the date set for June 27th, and Luke already well-prepared to move to Norway to live with her.

But on May 15th, they decided to postpone it, after the hoped-for relaxation of border rules left those overseas who are engaged to marry Norwegian citizens out.

“We had hoped for good news that day, but there was no news for us,” Rygg complains.

Today, she is still waiting for a change in the rulies that will open the way for Luke to join her. “It is an emotional Rollercoaster,” she says.

Url copied to clipboard!