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Swedish café owner defends his kid ban

A Swedish café owner who told parents to keep their kids away from his shop stands by his decision, despite losing a fair chunk of his "latte parent" customers and complaints about discrimination.

Swedish café owner defends his kid ban

From its generous parental leave to Ikea’s supervised play areas, Sweden prides itself on family-friendly policies.

So when a Swedish café owner tried to ban children from his property he wasn’t surprised by the number of outraged parents — there were plenty — but by the groundswell of support he received from his guests and colleagues.

“I’m always going to think that everything my daughter does is really cute, but I know that not everyone else feels the same way,” said Josef Shamon, whose family owns Nelly’s, the Stockholm coffee shop and bistro that recently implemented the ban.

Problems included children “standing on the chairs, jumping from them, standing on the shelves by the windows and banging on them,” he added.

One employee asked a mother to tell her son to stop jumping on the couch, only to burn himself with coffee when the young boy came running at him minutes later.

“We have lost a lot of customers over this and it’s a widespread problem in the industry,” Shamon said.

It all began when Nelly’s new owners decided to lift a ban on prams and buggies, a practice Swedish eateries justify by pointing to fire safety regulations, but which is also seen as a ploy to keep the number of latte-sipping parents down.

News of the baby-friendly cafe spread and soon there were around ten prams on the premises at any given moment of the day, and even more children, Shamon claimed.

“Out of those, 90 percent are very good and well-behaved…but around ten percent come here either thinking we will take care of (their kids), or that their behaviour is okay,” he said.

For the moment, Nelly’s has taken down the controversial sign barring children from entering, but Shamon said it was mulling having the ban tried in court, pointing to the growing popularity of child-free holidays and hotels.

Restaurant owners and taxi drivers from around the country had called his family to give their support, he added.

Still, few have done so publicly in a country where many feel children should be seen and heard — including at dinner parties, where relegating young guests to a separate table is considered old-fashioned.

If the number of toddlers at Nelly’s and Espresso House, Sweden’s ubiquitous Starbucks clone, seems unusually high, it can also be explained by the country’s generous parental leave.

The system allows for 480 days at 80 percent of salary to be claimed by either parent until their child turns eight.

Add in the tax cuts enacted by Sweden’s centre-right government and it’s easy to see why young parents are a lucrative market for coffee shop owners.

But if the online outpouring of support for Nelly’s ban is anything to go by, Sweden’s “latte parents”, as they are sometimes disparagingly called, could also cost the proprietors some of their business.

On a popular café review website, one patron said many mothers were now boycotting Nelly’s, but suggested it had made the venue more rather than less popular.

“I sit there often and work and…the place is pure heaven. However, it’s busier than usual,” she wrote.

Child-rearing experts, like the rest of the country, disagreed on how to solve the problem.

“I think bringing your children with you everywhere you go is wrong,” Hugo Lagercrantz, a professor of paediatrics and a commentator on children’s health issues, told AFP.

“If you go to a coffee shop it’s for the parents’ sake, the children don’t find it particularly enjoyable,” he said, noting that Swedish parents have a high tolerance level for bad behaviour.

But calls for stricter parenting were slammed by Lars H. Gustafsson, a paediatrician and father of eight who’s written books such as “Growing, Not Obeying” and “The Preschool Child’s Human Rights”.

“If children are running around in a cafe because they’re bored, other adults can take care of them and talk to them, instead of just sitting there and looking annoyed,” he said.

“After all, it’s a privilege to be able to meet children sometimes.”

Greater visibility of children in public spaces had led to a backlash, borne out by the popularity of reality TV shows teaching parents how to discipline their kids, Gustafsson argued.

“Sometimes as a parent it’s better to leave, so that the children will be spared the glares and negative comments,” he said.

If someone else’s child threw a tantrum in a shop, Gustafsson himself sometimes offered to take the parent’s trolley past the tills so that they could take the child outside.

“I think adults should be more forgiving and help out,” he said.

A spokeswoman for Sweden’s Equality Ombudsman (Diskrimineringsombudsmannen – DO), Susanna Lundmark, said a complaint had to be filed before the agency could judge whether Nelly’s child ban breached the country’s discrimination laws.

AFP/The Local/at

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CHILDREN

What names do foreign nationals give their babies in Switzerland?

Each year for more than three decades, the Federal Statistical Office has been publishing the first names of infants born in Switzerland the previous year. It seems that foreigners favour names that are typical of their national background.

What names do foreign nationals give their babies in Switzerland?
Foreigners give their babies names that reflect their nationality. Photo by Keira Burton from Pexels

As The Local reported on Wednesday, the most popular names for newborn girls born in Switzerland in 2020 were Mia, Emma, and Mila.

For boys, Noah took the top spot, ahead of Liam and Matteo.

REVEALED: The most popular baby name in each Swiss canton

But what about the most popular names among various nationalities living in Switzerland?

The answers come from the same study.

Italy

The top name for boys of Italian parents is Giuseppe, followed by Antonio and Francesco. For girls, Maria is in the first place, Anna in the second, and Francesca in the third.

Portugal

There are many Portuguese immigrants living in Switzerland and, like their Italian counterparts, they like to give their children traditional names: José, Carlos and Manuel for boys, and Maria, Ana, and Sandra for girls.

Spain

Spanish names are similar to those of Portuguese babies.

José, Juan and Jose are most popular boy names, while Maria, Ana and Laura are in the top three spots for the girls.

Turkey

Most boys of Turkish descent are named Mehmet, Ali, and Mustafa. Among girls, Fatma, Ayse, and Elif dominate.

Kosovo

Arben, Vallon, and Bekim are top names for boys, and Fatime, Shquipe, and Merite for girls.

Macedonia

Bekim is in the first place for boys, followed by Muhamed and Fatmir. Among girls, Fatimr is in the lead, Sara in the second place, and Emine in the third.

Serbia

Aleksandar, Dragan and Nicola take the first three spots. For the girls, Jelena, Maria and Snezana are at the top.

Can you give your baby any name you want?

Not in Switzerland, you can’t. It’s important to keep in mind that the cantonal registry offices, where new births must be announced, don’t have to accept very unusual names.

Several years ago, for instance, a Zurich court ruled that parents can’t name their infant daughter ‘J’.

In another case, a couple in the canton of Bern were ordered to change the name of their newborn son because their choice – Jessico – was considered too feminine. 

Several names have been forbidden in Switzerland, including Judas, Chanel, Paris and Mercedes. 

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