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CHILDREN

Cutting through the bull ‘sheet’ of swearing in Sweden

While learning Swedish is a common hurdle for immigrants of all stripes, US-native and parent Rebecca Ahlfeldt reflects on how differing definitions of foul language can pose a special challenge for the ex-pat parents of small children.

Cutting through the bull 'sheet' of swearing in Sweden

Where I come from, it’s not appropriate for a six-year-old kid to swear.

Not only does it sound jarringly offensive, but it reeks of too little adult influence in a kid’s life. At least this is the assumption that I started with when I came to Sweden.

It’s possible that some approximation of the following sentence may have come out of my mouth in another life (a.k.a. before kids): “I can’t believe people let their kids swear. I can’t imagine just letting something like that go.”

But, to paraphrase my own favorite parenting mantra, everything I said I’d never do—I’ve done it. It’s a slight exaggeration, but not by much.

While there are definite weaknesses in my parenting style, I think I’ve been pretty successful holding the line on things that I feel are important.

And, until recently, I would have thought that swearing was one of them.

It was.

So why downgrade swearing off the things-important-enough-to-struggle-with-the-kids-about list?

I’m going to have to blame this one on the Swedes. Why? Let me give an example:

My son – whom we’ll call Erik – and his non-English speaking friend “Magnus” are glued to the television set, playing their favourite driving game, Paradise Burnout.

Magnus is driving, and Erik is supposed to read the map and tell him where to go. This partnership is not going so well.

For starters, both their grasps of “right” and “left” are tenuous at best, and second, Erik isn’t strategic enough to give Magnus enough warning for turns.

“Sheet!” says Magnus. He missed the turn and crashed into a wall.

“Sheet!” echoes Erik.

My first instinct is to discipline Erik for swearing.

He knows he’s not supposed to swear. He knows that “sheet” is, in fact, a Swedish approximation of the word “shit,” which he knows he’s not allowed to say.

On the other hand, if it’s perfectly acceptable for Magnus to say this around adults (and it is—no one even reacts), why shouldn’t it be okay for Erik?

It appears to me part of this nonchalance about English curse words stems from Sweden’s ongoing romance with the English language.

Everywhere you look in Sweden, there’s English.

“Sorry,” says a woman who bumps into me on the subway. In English. And I haven’t uttered a word to let her know that I am, in fact, and English speaker.

“Yes?” asks the cashier at the restaurant when I order.

In fact, I’ve heard American ex-pat friends complain about how hard it is for them to learn Swedish—everyone just switches over to English right away.

But, like anyone swept up into a budding romance, many Swedes have jumped right in with an astonishing lack of perspective, toying with the language in a way that, in retrospect, may feel a little rash and ridiculous.

Consider, for example, one of Sweden’s largest shoe store chain’s slogans: Styled by Shoes.

This odd mesh of words was plastered over signs, floor-to-ceiling posters and ads… but what does it mean? Some marketing team, tapping into a Swede’s love of English, created what sounded to them like a catchy slogan.

Or how about these signs hanging in the clothing store MQ: “Sale of MQ, 30-70%.” The store is for sale? 30-70 percent off the share price? That’s quite a deal!

Didn’t it occur to them to check with a native speaker? I mean, if I were considering printing millions of bags with my catchy Spanish slogan that I (a non-native) made up, I think I’d check to make sure it makes sense.

I can’t let it go. Every misuse, every swear word still makes me pause. Actually, I can’t help it—as an English teacher, it’s reflexive.

But back to Erik’s swearing—can I really expect him to take up the same David vs. Goliath battle about hearing and using English from an American perspective?

Because it’s more than just teaching him to use English correctly. Am I, in fact, asking him to choose his cultural identity?

I’ll state another obvious point: swear words are just words—it’s the people that connect meaning to them.

I know what mierda means in Spanish, for example, but hearing it out of my kid’s mouth wouldn’t cause the same internal reaction on my side.

In fact, it sounds funny and almost cute.

That must be what sheet sounds like it a Swedish parent.

And, because my son is growing up in Swedish society, that must be what it sounds like it him.

So our household has come to a compromise. When speaking English, the word shit is still off limits.

However, when speaking Swedish, Erik, like his friends, may freely use sheet.

Because, now that we’re in Sweden, I’ve decided it’s my cultural perception that has to adjust, not his.

Rebecca Ahlfeldt is an American ex-pat writer, translator and editor currently based in Stockholm.

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LANGUAGE AND CULTURE

Le Havre rules: How to talk about French towns beginning with Le, La or Les

If you're into car racing, French politics or visits to seaside resorts you are likely at some point to need to talk about French towns with a 'Le' in the title. But how you talk about these places involves a slightly unexpected French grammar rule. Here's how it works.

An old WW2 photo taken in the French port town of Le Havre.
An old WW2 photo taken in the French port town of Le Havre. It can be difficult to know what prepositions to use for places like this - so we have explained it for you. (Photo by AFP)

If you’re listening to French chat about any of those topics, at some point you’re likely to hear the names of Mans, Havre and Touquet bandied about.

And this is because French towns that have a ‘Le’ ‘La’ or ‘Les’ in the title lose them when you begin constructing sentences. 

As a general rule, French town, commune and city names do not carry a gender. 

So if you wanted to describe Paris as beautiful, you could write: Paris est belle or Paris est beau. It doesn’t matter what adjectival agreement you use. 

For most towns and cities, you would use à to evoke movement to the place or explain that you are already there, and de to explain that you come from/are coming from that location:

Je vais à Marseille – I am going to Marseille

Je suis à Marseille – I am in Marseille 

Je viens de Marseille – I come from Marseille 

But a select few settlements in France do carry a ‘Le’, a ‘La’ or a ‘Les’ as part of their name. 

In this case the preposition disappears when you begin formulating most sentences, and you structure the sentence as you would any other phrase with a ‘le’, ‘la’ or ‘les’ in it.

Masculine

Le is the most common preposition for two names (probably something to do with the patriarchy) with Le Havre, La Mans, Le Touquet and the town of Le Tampon on the French overseas territory of La Réunion (more on that later)

A good example of this is Le Havre, a city in northern France where former Prime Minister, Edouard Philippe, who is tipped to one day run for the French presidency, serves as mayor. 

Edouard Philippe’s twitter profile describes him as the ‘Maire du Havre’, using a masculine preposition

Here we can see that his location is Le Havre, and his Twitter handle is Philippe_LH (for Le Havre) but when he comes to describe his job the Le disappears.

Because Le Havre is masculine, he describes himself as the Maire du Havre rather than the Maire de Havre (Anne Hidalgo, for example would describe herself as the Maire de Paris). 

For place names with ‘Le’ in front of them, you should use prepositions like this:

Ja vais au Touquet – I am going to Le Touquet

Je suis au Touquet – I am in Le Touquet 

Je viens du Touquet – I am from Le Touquet 

Je parle du Touquet – I am talking about Le Touquet

Le Traité du Touquet – the Le Touquet Treaty

Feminine

Some towns carry ‘La’ as part of their name. La Rochelle, the scenic town on the west coast of France known for its great seafood and rugby team, is one such example.

In French ‘à la‘ or ‘de la‘ is allowed, while ‘à le‘ becomes au and ‘de le’ becomes du. So for ‘feminine’ towns such as this, you should use the following prepositions:

Je vais à La Rochelle – I am going to La Rochelle

Je viens de La Rochelle – I am coming from La Rochelle 

Plural

And some places have ‘Les’ in front of their name, like Les Lilas, a commune in the suburbs of Paris. The name of this commune literally translates as ‘The Lilacs’ and was made famous by Serge Gainsbourg’s song Le Poinçonneur des Lilas, about a ticket puncher at the Metro station there. 

When talking about a place with ‘Les’ as part of the name, you must use a plural preposition like so:

Je suis le poinçonneur des Lilas – I am the ticket puncher of Lilas 

Je vais aux Lilas – I am going to Les Lilas

Il est né aux Lilas – He was born in Les Lilas  

Islands 

Islands follow more complicated rules. 

If you are talking about going to one island in particular, you would use à or en. This has nothing to do with gender and is entirely randomised. For example:

Je vais à La Réunion – I am going to La Réunion 

Je vais en Corse – I am going to Corsica 

Generally speaking, when talking about one of the en islands, you would use the following structure to suggest movement from the place: 

Je viens de Corse – I am coming from Corsica 

For the à Islands, you would say:

Je viens de La Réunion – I am coming from La Réunion 

When talking about territories composed of multiple islands, you should use aux.

Je vais aux Maldives – I am going to the Maldives. 

No preposition needed 

There are some phrases in French which don’t require any a preposition at all. This doesn’t change when dealing with ‘Le’ places, such as Le Mans – which is famous for its car-racing track and Motorcycle Grand Prix. Phrases that don’t need a preposition include: 

Je visite Le Mans – I am visiting Le Mans

J’aime Le Mans – I like Le Mans

But for a preposition phrase, the town becomes simply Mans, as in Je vais au Mans.

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