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PORTNOY'S STAMMTISCH

CRIME

German TV is murder

In the latest installment of Portnoy’s Stammtisch, The Local’s column about life in Germany, Portnoy examines the country’s beloved TV treasure Tatort.

German TV is murder
Photo: DPA

As an exchange student in West Germany during the waning days of the Cold War, I liked to joke that if the Russians wanted to invade, they should do it on New Year’s Eve. This was because everyone in the country was setting off loud firecrackers while completely drunk – including the soldier belonging to my host family.

Now having lived here for more than a decade, I’ve discovered an even better time to catch the Germans completely off guard: 8:15 pm on a Sunday. That’s when the seminal Teutonic television crime-drama Tatort, or “Crime Scene,” airs. At 39, Tatort is older than several members of Chancellor Angela Merkel’s cabinet. It’s probably one of the longest-running television shows on the planet and no self-respecting German would miss an episode.

Though I’d heard my friends talk about Tatort for years, its downmarket intro long turned me off. The staccato bass aims for The Ventures’ Hawaii Five-O or Henry Mancini’s Peter Gunn but falls short of even an advertising jingle. I also had an allergic reaction to Tatort’s cheesy gun sight logo, which might now be retro but is still cliché.

However, I was eventually lured in by the show’s structure – each episode is set in a town or city with familiar detectives scattered throughout Germany. In Munich, a guy named Udo Wachtveitl plays a big-city Bavarian cop alongside partner Miroslav Nemec, who represents Germany’s sizable Croatian population. In Bremen, Sabine Postel is a brash single mother and detective alongside Oliver Mommsen’s run-of-the-mill cop who gets along better with his partner than his love interests.

The regional structure isn’t accidental. It reflects the country’s network of public broadcasters, who also produce the episodes in their corner of the country. This adds background texture to the shows, such as the Baltic Sea and dairy cows playing a supporting role in Kiel just as the Rhine and Kölsch beer do in Cologne.

The show’s uneven scriptwriting is also an apt reflection of life in Germany – mostly mundane, sometimes gloomy and often just goofy. The singing detectives in Hamburg, for instance, were massively popular but made “Murder She Wrote” seem like a Salman Rushdie novel. Luckily they’ve since gone off the air. Still, most Tatort episodes are forgettable pulp, which makes them perfect couchtime companions.

The show has also always reflected German societal issues of the day. Integrating the country’s Turkish population, for example. Foreign occupying soldiers. The first episode even spanned Germany’s Cold War division. Klaus Kinski’s daughter Nastassja even once took off her clothes in an episode – though it has to be said that her getting naked was brilliant acting compared to the angst-filled constipation of her father.

Oddly, the time Tatort really shines is when it arrives in Frankfurt, admittedly one of my least-favourite German cities. The episodes in Mainhattan (a nickname as bad as the town itself) are always a brilliant kind of darkness. The writers have already offed one of the lead detective’s parents. Plural. That particular cop is played by Andrea Sawatzki, who has the same kind of subcutaneous sexuality I last appreciated in my fourth-grade math teacher. The most recent episode there inspired this column and had a super-rich son – played magnificently by shooting star Matthias Schweighöfer – covering up the death of his father.

He then orchestrated the murders of his aunt and uncle because they were generally just bad people. It was fabulous. If Schweighöfer keeps acting like that he might yet eclipse Germany’s other skyrocketing celeb du jour, Defence Minister Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg.

The minister might be a blue-blooded baron in demand for red-carpet events, but I’m certain you’d find him settling onto the couch each Sunday evening at 8:15 pm next to his well-bred blonde wife Stephanie. Remote control in hand. Just like me.

Since a good German Stammtisch is a place where pub regulars come to talk over the issues of the day, Portnoy welcomes a lively conversation in the comments area below.

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BERLIN

Disruption on roads in Berlin as farmers stage fresh protest

Farmers in Germany launched fresh protests in Berlin on Friday to call for the government to support agriculture, resulting in disruption across the city.

Disruption on roads in Berlin as farmers stage fresh protest

Berlin police said there were “considerable traffic disruptions” across the city and the outskirts and especially around Straße des 17. Juni, the government district and the Bundesrat .

Since Thursday morning, Straße des 17. Juni and other streets around the government district in Berlin-Tiergarten have been closed. There will also be closures on Leipziger Straße between Wilhelmstraße and Leipziger Platz through Friday.

A planned rally is due to take place from 12 noon to 5pm on Friday with tractors and lorries around Platz des 18. März, near Brandenburg Gate. 

The action is being held to protest the government’s agricultural policies.

It comes as relief measures – including reduced bureaucracy and tax relief for farmers – went to the Bundesrat on Friday to be voted on as part of the Growth Opportunities Act.

However, farmers are still pushing for their original demand of fully keeping the agricultural diesel subsidy.

READ ALSO: Analysis: Why are German farmers so angry?

Farmers in Germany have been staging similar protests against the policies of the government since the start of the year.

Where are protests taking place?

Here’s a look at the routes farmers are expected to take in Friday into Berlin where disruption will occur:

Frohnau: From the state border via B96 Berliner Straße, Roedernallee, Lindauer Allee, Residenzstraße, Markstraße, Schulstraße, Luxemburger Straße, Föhrer Straße, An der Putlitzbrücke, Stromstraße, Lessingstraße, Altonaer Straße and Großer Stern to Straße des 17. Juni

Lichtenrade: From the state border via the B96 Kirchhainer Damm to Tempelhofer Damm and then via Mehringdamm, Hallesches Ufer, Reichpietschufer, Klingelhöferstraße, Hofjägerallee and Großer Stern to Straße des 17. Juni

Mahlsdorf: From the state border via the B1/5 to Alexanderstraße and then via Karl-Liebknecht-Straße, Unter den Linden, Wilhelmstraße, Dorotheenstraße, Scheidemannstraße, John-Foster-Dulles-Allee, Spreeweg and Großer Stern to Straße des 17. Juni

Staaken: From the state border via B5 Heerstraße to Theodor-Heuss-Platz, Kaiserdamm, Ernst-Reuter-Platz, Straße des 17. Juni and Großer Stern to Straße des 17. Juni.

As we’ve already. mentioned, there will also be road closures on Leipziger Straße between Wilhelmstraße and Leipziger Platz.

Farmers at the Straße des 17. Juni early morning on Friday in Berlin in a demo for better agricultural policy.

Farmers at the Straße des 17. Juni early morning on Friday in Berlin in a demo for better agricultural policy. Photo: picture alliance/dpa | Jörg Carstensen

A large police presence was in place around the federal ministries and parliamentary buildings.

“We are taking preparatory measures before the farmers’ rally so that parliamentary work can take place smoothly on Friday,” said a spokesperson for the Berlin police on Thursday. 

During previous demonstrations, tactics – such as throwing manure and blockade attempts – have been controversial. 

On one occasion in January more than a hundred farmers blocked a ferry port as Economics Minister Robert Habeck tried to return from a holiday with his wife on the North Friesian island of Hooge.

According to media reports, some of the protestors tried to storm the ferry that the Habeck and his wife were on, preventing the Green Party politician from disembarking and forcing police to intervene. 

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